"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. "
"Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant."
"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Chau-Chou. But I think it's Colin."
"'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'"
Edited by shrek, 07 December 2009 - 01:12 PM.