515 replies to this topic

[blackknight]

When Bob was asked if he preferred leg or breast he said he had a particular fondness for shaven pussies.

He was then informed that that is not an option when choosing a KFC bargain bucket.

[Number 16]

Do you think Adebayor ran the length of the team bus to celebrate in front of the gunners last week?

[goldcard]

Do you think Adebayor ran the length of the team bus to celebrate in front of the gunners last week?

I saw that on newsbiscuit too....

[Number 16]

I saw that on newsbiscuit too....

Since when has this thread ever been about originality? Have you ever read any of blackknight's jokes?

[voteronniegibbs]

I got fired on my 1st day as a male masseuse yesterday, apparently the instruction finish off on her face didn't mean what I thought it did.

[l'angelo mysterioso]

I got fired on my 1st day as a male masseuse yesterday, apparently the instruction finish off on her face didn't mean what I thought it did.

male masseuse=masseur

[Number 16]

male masseuse=masseur

Male masseuse works - he likes to wear the stockings.

[l'angelo mysterioso]

Male masseuse works - he likes to wear the stockings.

a good point well made

[voteronniegibbs]

Male masseuse works - he likes to wear the stockings.

a good point well made

when you've got it, flaunt it baby

[Number 16]

when you've got it, flaunt it baby

Yeah, but you're overdoing it.

[voteronniegibbs]

Yeah, but you're overdoing it.

how very dare you, I don't have a double chin

[Number 16]

International child aid is starting to arrive in Haiti after the earthquake has left 50,000 children under 10 orphaned and alone to fend for themselves. The Americans are sending medicine and doctors, the British are sending food and shelter while the Irish are sending 1,000 priests on the holiday of a lifetime.

[blackknight]

International child aid is starting to arrive in Haiti after the earthquake has left 50,000 children under 10 orphaned and alone to fend for themselves. The Americans are sending medicine and doctors, the British are sending food and shelter while the Irish are sending 1,000 priests on the holiday of a lifetime.

Liverpool FC have sent two plane loads of fans to assist with the looting

[amh]

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

[Bleep1673]

BOB'S SURGERY---


When Bob first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.



But after several weeks, his penis had grown fifty centimeters.



Bob became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.

After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Bob's condition (Donkey Doodle,) it could be fixed through corrective surgery.


'How long will Bob be on crutches?' the wife asked anxiously.

'Crutches? Why would he need crutches?' responded the surprised doctor..

'Well,' said the wife coldly, 'you're gunna lengthen his legs, aren't you?

[Mumby Magic]

I went to the music shop and asked "have you any music for a children's party?"

He said: "Small Faces?"

I said "Of course they have they are kids!"

What do slugs call snails? Gypsies.

[BD92]

FIRST
TIME SEX ............
A
girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and
have a dinner with her
parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend
that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for
the first
time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes
a trip to the chemist to get some condoms. He tells the
chemist it's his first time and the chemist helps the
boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to
know about condoms and sex. At the register, t he pharmacist
asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack,
10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack
because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first
time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets
his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken
to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The
boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute
passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head
down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the
boy.
Finally, after
20 minutes with his head
down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,
'I ha d no idea you were this religious.' The boy turns, and
whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a
chemist.'

[blackknight]

Man City are considering a new sponsorship deal with Viagra for those times when you wait years for a semi then lose it right at the end.

Wayne Bridge sent his wife a replica of his penis made from Cadbury's chocolate.
She said she preferred Terry's.

Edited by blackknight, 30 January 2010 - 10:17 PM.

[LEEDSLADGONE SOUTH]

Paddy was telling Mick that he'd been chatting to a 14 yr old girl online. 'She's funny, flirty, and sexy' says Paddy. @Then she told me she was an undercover police officer'. 'How impressive is that at her age'

[amh]

The chicken and the egg sat in bed, the chicken is smoking a cig, the egg is sat there sulking..... guess that solves that riddle then!