30 replies to this topic

[voteronniegibbs]

my local supermarket has decided over the last month or so to start winding me up

I go to the checkout, start loading all the goodies and foodies on the conveyor, they slowly trundle forward whilst I keep loading more on ....until.... all systems stop

the conveyor is full, I wait for the lass to start doing the swipe, beep,swipe ,beep bit of the procedure, but she doesn't , just sits there, there's still stuff in the trolley,there's no more space to put it on, I wait, wait a bit longer,.....longer again after a few minutes the swipe lady says to me " shall I start?"

it's going to be a long feckin evening if you don't

[JohnM]

You need to pack the conveyor vertically - Try assembling all the cuboid packages into a sort of packaging skyscraper, then balance a bottle of wine on top. I guarantee you'll attract her attention.

Alternatively, when she asks can she start, say " yes please, can you slowly and provocatively unbutton your blouse."

Try it!

[Old Frightful]

Could have been worse. She could have waited until you'd filled the conveyer and then said "Sorry, I'm shutting the till down now".

Maybe she's saving that for next time.

What hacks me off is parents who realise they've forgotten summat and send one of their offspring to go and get it whilst holding up everybody else in the queue.

[westhuller]

When it states this till is for 10 items only it means 10 items only not 11 alright! !!!

[saintsbird]

Why do I always seem to get the trolley with either the wonky or squeaky wheel. I am sure it waits for me!!

[ckn]

What really narks me is people who load their bags, taking ages to do so then look surprised when they're asked for money. Then if the bill is something like £19.89, they'll say "oh, hold on, I have the 89p" and count it out penny after penny. Then they'll find a voucher.

Subnormality

[voteronniegibbs]

and them bloody self check outs , why for fecks sake,why??

I went into a branch of that there Tesco supermartbargainexpress on the outskirts of Nott'm the other week, when I got to where the checkouts were the last time I was in,there weren't any bloody checkouts just 6 of them self pay machines bolted to the wall with a massive sign above them saying something like our staff are happy to help if you need it

ar ses to 'em, they didn't get my money, just put the stuff down where I was and walked out fuming and there weren't any staff happy to help, just a couple of doris's chatting away to each other and then gawping as I ranted off

I was in B&Q last weekend and they even have em there, you've got folks trying to buy bags of cement and they can't get em on the machine, another bloody sign nearby saysomething like self checkouts for speed and convenience, was it rollocks 4 machines and 4 people all trying to get the attention of the one oppo who trying to train all the custoers to do the staffs job for them

too much trouble to even take my money off me now

[ckn]

and them bloody self check outs , why for fecks sake,why??

I went into a branch of that there Tesco supermartbargainexpress on the outskirts of Nott'm the other week, when I got to where the checkouts were the last time I was in,there weren't any bloody checkouts just 6 of them self pay machines bolted to the wall with a massive sign above them saying something like our staff are happy to help if you need it

ar ses to 'em, they didn't get my money, just put the stuff down where I was and walked out fuming and there weren't any staff happy to help, just a couple of doris's chatting away to each other and then gawping as I ranted off

I was in B&Q last weekend and they even have em there, you've got folks trying to buy bags of cement and they can't get em on the machine, another bloody sign nearby saysomething like self checkouts for speed and convenience, was it rollocks 4 machines and 4 people all trying to get the attention of the one oppo who trying to train all the custoers to do the staffs job for them

too much trouble to even take my money off me now

Not as bad as the stores with the "scan as you go" machines. When we lived in Chelmsford the Sainsbury's there had one and it got to the stage that every time we went through the till the machine said "verification needed" and we had to unpack all our bags and rescan every item. I lost it one day and demanded to see the manager, apparently we'd been marked as "not trusted" on their system because one time we'd mis-scanned a yellow pepper for a green one, same price no gain or loss for them but their system marked it as we were trying to steal the yellow pepper and had us on a "full recheck every time" notification.

[hindle xiii]

my spleen needs venting

Clean up on aisle three.

[voteronniegibbs]

Clean up on aisle three.

[Old Frightful]

Why do I always seem to get the trolley with either the wonky or squeaky wheel. I am sure it waits for me!!

It's just the way you drive it.

[Ullman]

Could have been worse. She could have waited until you'd filled the conveyer and then said "Sorry, I'm shutting the till down now".

Maybe she's saving that for next time.

What hacks me off is parents who realise they've forgotten summat and send one of their offspring to go and get it whilst holding up everybody else in the queue.

You should go to Asda on Hessle Road mate. The parents there are a lot more considerate. They send their kids to rob it off the shelves instead.

Keeps everything moving along nicely.

[JohnM]

and them bloody self check outs , why for fecks sake,why??

good grief, man! What's up with you? even my wife can use those....sometimes, anyway. The trick is to have the item barcode pointing to the vertical scan window at the back rather than passing over the horizontal one. Trust me, it works 100% that way.

[bigred]

Not as bad as the stores with the "scan as you go" machines. When we lived in Chelmsford the Sainsbury's there had one and it got to the stage that every time we went through the till the machine said "verification needed" and we had to unpack all our bags and rescan every item. I lost it one day and demanded to see the manager, apparently we'd been marked as "not trusted" on their system because one time we'd mis-scanned a yellow pepper for a green one, same price no gain or loss for them but their system marked it as we were trying to steal the yellow pepper and had us on a "full recheck every time" notification.

How dare you, you non-conformist!!
Carelessness is no excuse and your card will have been well and truly marked - big brother will be watching

[Number 16]

Just for the devilment I never use the 'next customer' plastic dividers. Apparently a two feet gap between the last customer's shopping and mine can cause the checkout staff a huge problem without a bit of plastic in between.

[Derwent]

good grief, man! What's up with you? even my wife can use those....sometimes, anyway. The trick is to have the item barcode pointing to the vertical scan window at the back rather than passing over the horizontal one. Trust me, it works 100% that way.

yes, scanning is the easy bit. But how do you stop...

Unexpected Item In The Bagging Area

[voteronniegibbs]

good grief, man! What's up with you? even my wife can use those....sometimes, anyway. The trick is to have the item barcode pointing to the vertical scan window at the back rather than passing over the horizontal one. Trust me, it works 100% that way.

technology is fine in it's place, but I pointedly refuse to allow myself to be trained up by these grocer johnnies, just so they can employ less staff and wind me up into the bargain, because I know, I just know that at somepoint the barcode won't read, the price will be wrong and I'll have to stand there like a schoolkid asking for help, when all it takes is a courteous member of staff to put my items through themselves and say thank you when I hand my money over,,

Arkwright would never have allowed it in his emporium, and mrs Featherstone wouldn't have been best chuffed if there wasn't a granville chappy to assist at the till

[Severus]

The self service machines are fantastic as long as the bag scales aren't too sensitive. Can get me bits and be out in no time with the added bonus of not having to speak to anyone. Just as long as old people arent using them a no ###### idiots with trolleys doing a massive shop.

[JohnM]

Just as long as old people arent using them

Oi! ... ..... ....

[Severus]

Oi! ... ..... ....

You don't seem like a proper old person. You know, the type who stares at the machine thinking that it works by magic.