57 replies to this topic

[devonhawk]

No Brazilian women.......Boooooooooo

[Ullman]

I’m sure that the FIFA are beyond reproach, the decision was reached fairly and impartially with no prejudice against England and the increased bank balances (allegedly) of at least 20 of the delegates is entirely coincidental. In other news Gillian McKeith denounces vegetarianism, the Castleford branch of the Crusaders Appreciation Society collect £100,000 to help the crisis hit Welsh club, Gus Gould compliments Northern Hemisphere RL, David Cameron announces a massive increase in the national minimum wage and Iran signs a treaty of eternal friendship with Israel.

I had to laugh, a BBC reporter mentioned that the England bid team had ‘failed to develop the right relationships.’ I can only assume that’s some sort of euphemism for greasing the right palms.

Maybe a couple of dozen handbags just don't cut it when it comes to a World Cup.

[JohnM]

ENGLAND'S bid for the 2026 World Cup will focus less on youth development and stadia and more on backhanders and polonium sandwiches, it has been confirmed.

As Fifa president Sepp Blatter announced Russia as hosts of the 2018 event, the Football Association stressed that next time it would simply hand out jiffy bags stuffed with crisp £50 notes along with the implicit threat of certain death.

An FA spokesman said: "We also realised we made a huge mistake bringing David Beckham and Prince William. Next time round we'll just get Kenneth Noyes and couple of Barbara Windsor's ex-husbands out on day release and let them do a bit of mingling."

In Zurich, a delighted Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin said he was 'very very surprised' that his country's bid had been successful adding: "So, so surprised. I really am very surprised indeed.

"I am also very pleased for Mr Blatter and his colleagues. They must be incredibly relieved. I know I would be."

Shortly before the voting began the Russian FA ordered a waiter to offer round a tray of exotic fish paste sandwiches while Mr Putin stood behind him glaring menacingly at each member of the voting committee.

He then asked each of the Fifa officials if they were voting for Russia and if they hesitated or said 'no', Mr Putin immediately replied: "Take sandwich. Is good."

Russia's winning presentation used state-of-the-art computer graphics to depict each committee member cruising along the French Riviera in a Bentley Continental alongside a large-chested blonde woman who was clearly attracted to them, to the strains of Beautiful Day by U2.

But the presentation came to a sudden and dramatic climax with a large, black-bordered photograph of former KGB agent Alexander Litvinenko lying in his London hospital bed, accompanied by the opening bars of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

Mr Putin then took to the stage and said: "We will also build some stadiums and have trains."

England fan Tom Logan said: "I'm gutted for England but I'm also looking forward to going to Russia, having something slipped into my drink, waking up in a basement and told that I have to marry someone's sister and take a load of heroin back to Stevenage or they'll shoot my mum."

[Cherry and White]

Q: "Mr. Blatter, who's your favourite Qatar player?" A: "Eric Clapton"

[Wolford6]

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

England soccer administrators and supporters are hinting at corruption in FIFA as one of the reasons their team didn't get awarded the World Cup. That complaint can't really be credible when the English game is itself open to corruption. At around the same time when the Panorama programme claims that backhanders were supposedly being paid to FIFA delegates, the FA suspended George Graham for a mere twelve months after he took a massive backhander. The FA took no action against Brian Clough for the same offence.

Nowadays, the scope for corruption in British football is probably greater than it was twenty years ago. Players come from all over the world in deals brokered by foreign agents that presumably have foreign bank accounts that are beyond the scrutiny of the British Police and Inland Revenue, let alone the toothless FA.
You can bet your life that there are plenty of African clubs that never saw anything near the full transfer fee that has been reported in the British press. How many inquiries has the FA reported to the Police or press?

Just look at Portsmouth to see what's wrong with English football. That club has probably had four different owners in five years, won the FA Cup, had around £150million from the FA, plays to biggish crowds but still plays in a dump of a ground and struggles to pay its admin staff.
A few years ago, the BBC inferred that there had been some financial irregularities at the club and the manager at the time in question took out a libel action. He later dropped his libel action; yet, as far as I know, no conclusive investigation has been reported by the FA.
Now there is a groundswell of of support for him to be the next England manager ... i.e. the highest-paid FA employee.

I suspect that the economics of professional football are equally murky across the whole of Western Europe. The FA and the UK Government cant condone this uncertainty when it is convenient, e.g. because the Premiership is a golden cash-cow and must be preserved in its pre-eminence, then beef when it isnt, e.g. 'boo-hoo we didn't get the World Cup'.

Edited by Wolford6, 02 December 2010 - 09:02 PM.

[Cherry and White]

apparently two members voted for Holland/Belgium solely to get shut of England in the first round of voting.

Edited by Cherry and White, 02 December 2010 - 11:35 PM.

[Cherry and White]

oops

Edited by Cherry and White, 02 December 2010 - 11:35 PM.

[marklaspalmas]

JohnM

Cutting & pasting chunks from the Daily Mash without acknowledgement is bad form.

[JohnM]

I didn't .

[WearyRhino]

Soccer corrupt? Who would have thought it?

Cheating is endemic from park soccer on a Saturday afternoon to the boardrooms of the biggest clubs in the world and it has been known that FIFA take back handers for decades.

I'm glad we won't have to endure an 8 year build up to the overblown pile of ######. If only they'd stop going on about it now.

[WearyRhino]

No Brazilian women.......Boooooooooo

This is soccer - they wouldn't have been 'women'!

[yanto]

Cant believe all the ###### spouted on here and in the press.

FFS who would have thought South Africa would have been a success.

Russia .....biggest country that spans both Europe and Asia with a population of 141,945,966 (yep that is Million) and money to burn, against broken European countries like England,Spain and Portugal (who like Ireland may need EU hand outs) and Holland and Belgium (who can't host a stand alone competition) ..who would you pick ???

As for 2022 if the RL could attract a nation of 1.7 million people to host the most prestigious competition on the planet (and for a profit) would we not have jumped at the chance !!!!

OR am I not talking sense???

[l'angelo mysterioso]

Cant believe all the ###### spouted on here and in the press.

FFS who would have thought South Africa would have been a success.

Russia .....biggest country that spans both Europe and Asia with a population of 141,945,966 (yep that is Million) and money to burn, against broken European countries like England,Spain and Portugal (who like Ireland may need EU hand outs) and Holland and Belgium (who can't host a stand alone competition) ..who would you pick ???
those associated with the england bid seemed to think they were entitled to be selected

As for 2022 if the RL could attract a nation of 1.7 million people to host the most prestigious competition on the planet (and for a profit) would we not have jumped at the chance !!!!

OR am I not talking sense???

the england representatives are behaving as though england were entitled to get the gig

Edited by l'angelo mysterioso, 05 December 2010 - 08:17 AM.

[KNIGHTS2009]

Sepp Blatter falling over.

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=mu7i5CJq3mg

[Just Browny]

Most English people have reacted like Widnes fans in July 2008.

If our boys had thought they could have got away with slipping the FIFA members a backhander, you're being seriously naive if you think they wouldn't have.

[DiH68]

I can sort of understand Russia, but Qatar? I mean, really?

[Number 16]

BBC Radio interview with one of the delegates, Marios Lefkaritis, who 'promised' to vote for England. He sounds like a right shifty bloke - the type you wouldn't buy a second hand car from!!!

Dodgy bloke

[amh]

Boris doing his bit no freebies for FIFA

Bugs me that they get owt free anyway...not just this lot, but all famous/celebs/powerful etc people

When will I, will I be famous( and get freebies).....well I can answer that...NEVER