136 replies to this topic

[markleeds]

Singers who seem to use their hands too much whilst singing as if it helps them reach a note. It's not needed. Also singers who split single single syllable words a la Katie Perry (although I can forgive her).

[Hornetto]

Adele.
Phil Collins.
The Cocteau Twins.
Rap.
R&B.
The Killers.
Widdly-wah guitar solos
Singers who go '2-3-4'
Rhyming 'baby' with 'maybe'
Song titles that are the first line of the song - just lazy.
Pop songs that go leaping for the chorus within 10 seconds of the song starting.
Justin Bieber.
Any line that ends "... oohh, yeah"
Any line that begins with "I say.."
Snow Patrol (aka 5h!t Patrol)
Muse.
Rush.
Doof-doof-wicky-wicky 'Council' House as heard in max-power cars.
London Hipsters.
Geek rock (Band of Horses/Grizzly Bear/Of Monsters and Men)
Foals.
Bands who introduce the band at gigs - "on drums..."
Singers who hold the mic out to the crowd and shout "Sing it". No, I've paid £40 to hear you sing it you ponce.
Any blind/deaf/paraplegic/90-year-old/aboriginal/native american/tribesman sat in a chair, wearing a hat and playing a bl00dy stick on 'Later' with Jools Holland.
'Later' with Jools Holland.
Privileged children of cra@p rock stars being cra@p rock stars.
Anyone who plays a Gibson Les Paul.
Conga players.
Any drummer with a gong.
'Gospel-style' backing singers.
X Factor winners
Boybands who walk while they sing.
Professor Green.
Plan B castigating 'little rich boys' on a platinum selling album: hypocrite.
Mick Jagger
'Moves Like Jagger'
Singers who sing round the note.
Songwriters referencing 'this club' or 'my show'
The Kooks.
Any 'happening band' with 'Club' in its name - an early indicator of 5h!tness (Bombay Bicycle/New Young Pony/Two Door Cinema/Chapel).
David Guetta.
And Adele.

Edited by Hornetto, 22 October 2012 - 08:38 AM.

[Griff9of13]

Adele.
Phil Collins.
The Cocteau Twins.
Rap.
R&B.
The Killers.
Widdly-wah guitar solos
Singers who go '2-3-4'
Rhyming 'baby' with 'maybe'
Song titles that are the first line of the song - just lazy.
Pop songs that go leaping for the chorus within 10 seconds of the song starting.
Justin Bieber.
Any line that ends "... oohh, yeah"
Any line that begins with "I say.."
Snow Patrol (aka 5h!t Patrol)
Muse.
Rush.
Doof-doof-wicky-wicky 'Council' House as heard in max-power cars.
London Hipsters.
Geek rock (Band of Horses/Grizzly Bear/Of Monsters and Men)
Foals.
Bands who introduce the band at gigs - "on drums..."
Singers who hold the mic out to the crowd and shout "Sing it". No, I've paid £40 to hear you sing it you ponce.
Any blind/deaf/paraplegic/90-year-old/aboriginal/native american/tribesman sat in a chair, wearing a hat and playing a bl00dy stick on 'Later' with Jools Holland.
'Later' with Jools Holland.
Privileged children of cra@p rock stars being cra@p rock stars.
Anyone who plays a Gibson Les Paul.
Conga players.
Any drummer with a gong.
'Gospel-style' backing singers.
X Factor winners
Boybands who walk while they sing.
Professor Green.
Plan B castigating 'little rich boys' on a platinum selling album: hypocrite.
Mick Jagger
'Moves Like Jagger'
Singers who sing round the note.
Songwriters referencing 'this club' or 'my show'
The Kooks.
Any 'happening band' with 'Club' in its name - an early indicator of 5h!tness (Bombay Bicycle/New Young Pony/Two Door Cinema/Chapel).
David Guetta.
And Adele.

Do you feel better now?

[Futtocks]

I'm fairly broad in my musical tastes, but 'happy clappy' modern Christian songs, usurping a long tradition of truly beautiful music, now that boils my pee.

[Mumby Magic]

Adele.
Phil Collins.
The Cocteau Twins.
Rap.
R&B.
The Killers.
Widdly-wah guitar solos
Singers who go '2-3-4'
Rhyming 'baby' with 'maybe'
Song titles that are the first line of the song - just lazy.
Pop songs that go leaping for the chorus within 10 seconds of the song starting.
Justin Bieber.
Any line that ends "... oohh, yeah"
Any line that begins with "I say.."
Snow Patrol (aka 5h!t Patrol)
Muse.
Rush.
Doof-doof-wicky-wicky 'Council' House as heard in max-power cars.
London Hipsters.
Geek rock (Band of Horses/Grizzly Bear/Of Monsters and Men)
Foals.
Bands who introduce the band at gigs - "on drums..."
Singers who hold the mic out to the crowd and shout "Sing it". No, I've paid £40 to hear you sing it you ponce.
Any blind/deaf/paraplegic/90-year-old/aboriginal/native american/tribesman sat in a chair, wearing a hat and playing a bl00dy stick on 'Later' with Jools Holland.
'Later' with Jools Holland.
Privileged children of cra@p rock stars being cra@p rock stars.
Anyone who plays a Gibson Les Paul.
Conga players.
Any drummer with a gong.
'Gospel-style' backing singers.
X Factor winners
Boybands who walk while they sing.
Professor Green.
Plan B castigating 'little rich boys' on a platinum selling album: hypocrite.
Mick Jagger
'Moves Like Jagger'
Singers who sing round the note.
Songwriters referencing 'this club' or 'my show'
The Kooks.
Any 'happening band' with 'Club' in its name - an early indicator of 5h!tness (Bombay Bicycle/New Young Pony/Two Door Cinema/Chapel).
David Guetta.
And Adele.

Is this the updated version of Billy Joel's we didnt start the fire?

[Bostik Bailey]

I'm fairly broad in my musical tastes, but 'happy clappy' modern Christian songs, usurping a long tradition of truly beautiful music, now that boils my pee.

I'm not religious at all but I do like a good traditional hymn sing song. I'm with you they now get great old hymn songs and put then to new funky beats played by a jimmy savile type at the front of the church on a keyboard or guitar

[terrywebbisgod]

I'm not religious at all but I do like a good traditional hymn sing song. I'm with you they now get great old hymn songs and put then to new funky beats played by a jimmy savile type at the front of the church on a keyboard or guitar

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=EcWA3RqFSVQ

[l'angelo mysterioso]

people who put stickers on their guitars

bourgeois glottal stop bands who sing trite songs-the kooks for instance as Hornetto says

heavy metal, especially spandex poodle bands, and that sub genre that has singers singing in a kind of growling grunting voice that sounds like the giant inan amateur production of jack in the beanstalk

bands from malawi or senegal who either play twigs whilst dressed in bedsheets, or have this tinny guitar sound and jump up and down all the time

'songs' that reference bitches, hos, bustin caps, or killing cops.

marijuana drenched roots reggae, in fact reggae

rap: what's up can't they think of a tune?

60s, 70s, 80s and no doubt before long 90s revival tours. I don't mind seeing old acts, because I'm old and because I like Cliff Bennet, but these packages featuring bands and artists that were ###### at thre time, and who might not even have any original members are awful, luckily they tend to have these events at Butlins, so you can kill two birds with one stone by not going.

those hearing aid type things

Sinead O'Connor

certain instruments used in rock music: no banjos, trombones, clarinets and I repear no synths please.

girfriends of band members who dance in a desultory way at thge side of the stage

guitars that manufacturers deliberately 'ditress' to look like that of a famous guitarist. For instance fender do a Rory Gallagher stratocaster. What sort of a annoying person would want one of those?

most music after about 1971.

[gingerjon]

I think we call agree it's been mostly rubbish since Hildegaard of Bingen.

[Phil]

anything like this


http://www.youtube.c...h?v=-4ehGN-nTkw

[Hornetto]

people who put stickers on their guitars

I'm with you on most if not all. Except your first one.
Woody will back me up

[Hornetto]

anything like this

When someone said to me when I was 16 "D'you want to be in a band?" - this is the film that was running in my head as I said 'Yes'

[l'angelo mysterioso]

I'm with you on most if not all. Except your first one.
Woody will back me up

there's an exception to every rule, and it was the war after all.

[l'angelo mysterioso]

When someone said to me when I was 16 "D'you want to be in a band?" - this is the film that was running in my head as I said 'Yes'

where do we start with that?

sub spinal tap, and take it from there I guess.

[nadera78]

R'n'B music that has no blues in it.

Drum machines used only for "dum-dum-tish, dum-dum-tish, dum-dum-tish".

Posturing rappers.

Grime.

[gingerjon]

When someone said to me when I was 16 "D'you want to be in a band?" - this is the film that was running in my head as I said 'Yes'

How'd that pan out for you?

[Hornetto]

where do we start with that?

sub spinal tap, and take it from there I guess.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. The reality is that playing toilet venues in front of 50 people, hassling promotors for your money and sleeping in a transit-van with five other people is... actually... pretty good fun too.

[Hornetto]

How'd that pan out for you?

Not quite that level of hedonism but a decent 10 year run involving three singles, an album, a Radio One session and some very decent support slots. And my picture in Melody Maker - on the same page as Mick Hucknall.

Edited by Hornetto, 22 October 2012 - 12:12 PM.

[gingerjon]

And my picture in Melody Maker - on the same page as Mick Hucknall.

<proper indie bitching>
Oh, my mistake. You mentioned something about being in a proper band and now you've said you were only in Melody Maker ...
</proper indie bitching>

[Hornetto]

<proper indie bitching>
Oh, my mistake. You mentioned something about being in a proper band and now you've said you were only in Melody Maker ...
</proper indie bitching>

And 'Sounds'.