Jump to content





Photo
- - - - -

Top 50 tell-tale signs of getting old


  • Please log in to reply
61 replies to this topic

#21 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 21,555 posts

Posted 19 June 2013 - 09:41 AM

I don't know how many of my answers constitute a 'yes' and even then, whether it really is a sign of age.

1. Feeling stiff
Yep.

2. Groaning when you bend down
Occasionally.

3. Saying "it wasn't like that when I was young"
Is that when making a positive or negative comparison? Or either? Yes, occasionally, but not using that particular wording.

4. Saying "in my day"
My name is not Garry Schofield, thank you very much.

5. Losing hair
Yep, 'fraid so. But that started in my early twenties.

6. You don't know any songs in the top ten
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

7. Getting more hairy - ears, eyebrows, nose, face etc
Yep.

8. Hating noisy pubs
Always hated noisy pubs. Not an age thing, just a preference.

9. Talking a lot about joints / ailments
No.

10. Forgetting people's names
Occasionally, but then I did that when I was young too.

11. Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style
Always gone for a mixture of both.

12. Thinking policemen / teachers / doctors look really young
Not yet!

13. Falling asleep in front of the TV
Yes. Let's have a big round of applause for the inventors of whisky!

14. Needing an afternoon nap
No.

15. Finding you have no idea what young people are talking about
Sometimes.

16. Struggling to use technology
No.

17. Losing touch with everyday technology such as tablets and televisions
No.

18. When you start complaining about more things
No.

19. Wearing your glasses around your neck
Never!

20. Not remembering the name of any modern bands
No.

21. You avoid lifting heavy things due to back concerns
No.

22. Complaining about the rubbish on television these days
No.

23. Misplacing your glasses / bag / keys etc
No.

24. You move from Radio one to Radio Two
I don't listen to either much, and didn't when I was younger either.

25. You start driving very slowly
Don't drive.

26. Preferring a night in with a board game than a night on the town
Night in, yes. Board game, not so much.

27. Taking a keen interest in The Antiques Road Show
No.

28. You talk to colleagues who are so young they don't know what an Opal Fruit is
The subject's never come up.

29. Taking slippers to friends' houses
No.

30. Listening to the Archers
Used to, years ago, now I don't.

31. Falling asleep after one glass of wine
You can get wine in non-plural amounts?

32. Never going out without your coat
Yes, much as I have done for most of my life.

33. Getting bed socks for Christmas and being very grateful
No.

34. When you can't lose six pounds in two days any more
Never tried.

35. Gasping for a cup of tea
No.

36. Taking a flask of tea or coffee on a day out
No.

37. Joining the WI
No.

38. Taking a keen interest in the garden
No.

39. Spending more money on face creams / anti-ageing products
No.

40. Spending money on the home / furniture rather than a night on the town
Yes.

41. Taking a keen interest in dressing for the weather
Not a "keen interest", but not dressing inappropriately, yes.

42. Putting everyday items in the wrong place
No.

43. Obsessive gardening or bird feeding
No.

44. Really enjoying puzzles and crosswords
Not as much as I used to.

45. Always driving in the slow lane, or below 70 in the middle lane
Don't drive.

46. Consider going on a 'no children' cruise for a holiday
No, I wouldn't consider any kind of cruise.

47. Your ears are getting bigger
No.

48. Joining the National Trust
Been a member since a youngster.

49. Drinking sherry
No.

50. Feeling you have the right to tell people exactly what you are thinking even if it isn't polite
That's not a sign of age, just a sign of an inflated sense of the importance of your own opinions.


Edited by Futtocks, 19 June 2013 - 09:42 AM.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it isn’t open. Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993)


#22 Bleep1673

Bleep1673
  • Coach
  • 3,430 posts

Posted 19 June 2013 - 10:25 AM

Add to the list:

Thinking Saga Holidays might be a god idea this year
Swinton RLFC est 1866 - Supplying England with players when most of your clubs were in nappies

#23 Wolford6

Wolford6
  • Coach
  • 10,640 posts

Posted 19 June 2013 - 03:28 PM

54. Stopping wearing jeans

55. Shouting at people who are on the telly or radio.

56. Telling your grandson to get his hair cut (says man with former shoulder-length hair)

57. Finally, after thirty years, remembering the service number of the bus to your neighbourhood.

58. Knowing the price of milk and bread.


Edited by Wolford6, 19 June 2013 - 03:51 PM.

Under Scrutiny by the Right-On Thought Police


#24 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 21,555 posts

Posted 19 June 2013 - 03:48 PM

56. Selling your grandson to get his hair cut (says man with former shoulder-length hair)

Paging Dr Freud! Paging Dr Freud! I believe Wolford6 has a terrible confession to make...

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it isn’t open. Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993)


#25 Wolford6

Wolford6
  • Coach
  • 10,640 posts

Posted 19 June 2013 - 03:51 PM

:ph34r:

:D

 

59. Committing Freudian slips


Edited by Wolford6, 19 June 2013 - 03:52 PM.

Under Scrutiny by the Right-On Thought Police


#26 Methven Hornet

Methven Hornet
  • Coach
  • 9,496 posts

Posted 19 June 2013 - 06:48 PM

Add to the list:

Thinking Saga Holidays might be a god idea this year

 

60. Believing your ideas are similar to God's. ;)


"There are now more pandas in Scotland than Tory MPs."

#27 Ullman

Ullman
  • Coach
  • 7,569 posts

Posted 19 June 2013 - 08:27 PM

These days I find it more difficult to get my leg over when I've been cycling all day and it comes to getting off.


"I own up. I am a serial risk taker. I live in a flood zone, cycle without a helmet, drink alcohol and on Sunday I had bacon for breakfast."


#28 westhuller

westhuller
  • Coach
  • 3,029 posts

Posted 19 June 2013 - 08:33 PM

These days I find it more difficult to get my leg over when I've been cycling all day and it comes to getting off.


Ooohh Matron !!

#29 ckn

ckn
  • Admin
  • 17,056 posts

Posted 19 June 2013 - 08:34 PM


These days I find it more difficult to get my leg over when I've been cycling all day and it comes to getting off.


Fnar, fnar. :D

Arguing with the forum trolls is like playing chess with a pigeon.  No matter how good you are, the bird will **** on the board and strut around like it won anyway


#30 bedlam breakout

bedlam breakout
  • Coach
  • 740 posts

Posted 19 June 2013 - 09:24 PM

by the time you realise your dad was right, you have kids who think you are wrong


the inside of a 3star halex table tennis ball smells much like you'd expect it to.

#31 Trojan

Trojan
  • Coach
  • 15,293 posts

Posted 20 June 2013 - 07:17 AM

I haven't scored myself. I already know :ph34r:  Clicking on threads like this is as sure a sign as any.


"Your a one trick pony Trojan" - Parksider 10th March 2013

#32 hindle xiii

hindle xiii
  • Coach
  • 21,157 posts

Posted 20 June 2013 - 08:09 AM

It's not my fault Radio 1 is utter sh*te. There's plenty of old crappy music too.


If you use "should of", "would of" or "could of", you are a moron.

On Odsal Top baht 'at.

 


#33 Wolford6

Wolford6
  • Coach
  • 10,640 posts

Posted 20 June 2013 - 08:32 AM

Yes, ask Futtocks.

 

:biggrin:  ;)


Under Scrutiny by the Right-On Thought Police


#34 ckn

ckn
  • Admin
  • 17,056 posts

Posted 20 June 2013 - 08:41 AM

61.  When obituaries seem to increasingly relate to actors, authors and other notables who you think weren't that old


Arguing with the forum trolls is like playing chess with a pigeon.  No matter how good you are, the bird will **** on the board and strut around like it won anyway


#35 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 21,555 posts

Posted 20 June 2013 - 08:44 AM

Yes, ask Futtocks.
:biggrin:  ;)

Your name will also go on ze list!

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it isn’t open. Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993)


#36 Amber Avenger

Amber Avenger
  • Coach
  • 5,779 posts

Posted 20 June 2013 - 08:58 AM

I’ve found myself doing more crosswords and puzzles recently – I’m becoming more obsessed with the codeword crosswords where you only get a few letters and have to guess the rest of the letters yourself. I realised it was quite fogeyish when I bought a book of them to do on the train a few weeks ago and saw an advert inside for stairlifts.

 

I listen to Radio 1 though, so I’m still cool honest…!


SQL Honours
Play off mini league winner - 2002. Bronze Medalist - 2003. Big Split Group Winner - 2006. Minor Stupidship - 2005, 2006. Cup Silver Medalist - 2008, 2009
CHAMPION - 2005, 2009, 2010

#37 hindle xiii

hindle xiii
  • Coach
  • 21,157 posts

Posted 20 June 2013 - 09:03 AM

I listen to Radio 1 though, so I’m still cool honest…!

Nope. ;)


If you use "should of", "would of" or "could of", you are a moron.

On Odsal Top baht 'at.

 


#38 Amber Avenger

Amber Avenger
  • Coach
  • 5,779 posts

Posted 20 June 2013 - 09:18 AM

You are right, I have never been cool!


SQL Honours
Play off mini league winner - 2002. Bronze Medalist - 2003. Big Split Group Winner - 2006. Minor Stupidship - 2005, 2006. Cup Silver Medalist - 2008, 2009
CHAMPION - 2005, 2009, 2010

#39 ckn

ckn
  • Admin
  • 17,056 posts

Posted 20 June 2013 - 09:20 AM

There was a news article I read last month (I think) about how the BBC management were unhappy that Radio 1 still had lots of listeners aged 45+ as that's way outside of their target audience of 16-25 year old listeners.  I did try to listen to Radio 1 last time I was out for a long drive and it was awful with the DJ trying his best to act cool and playing lots of dance music dross that wouldn't even make it to the charts if there were no other songs out there to buy.


Radio 1 has not been "cool" for me since Mark & Lard left the Radio 1 airwaves.  It hasn't been the same without a daily dose of Fat Harry White.


Arguing with the forum trolls is like playing chess with a pigeon.  No matter how good you are, the bird will **** on the board and strut around like it won anyway


#40 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 21,555 posts

Posted 20 June 2013 - 09:28 AM

Was Radio 1 ever cool?

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it isn’t open. Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993)





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users