Bored so I've put these corny jokes on.
Talk about Dyson with death?
"Really, ..." says Mick "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed.
At first I was afraid...then I was petrified.
The wife has been missing a week now. The Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I went to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin.
Three hours later and they're still walking about with it.
I thought to myself, they've lost the plot ....
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!
"Blow this," I thought, "I can get one cheaper off the web."
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I start a new job in Seoul next week.
I thought it was a good Korea move.
I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up.
The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.
I thought to myself, "That guy's heading for a breakdown."
On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said: 'English speaking Doctor'.
I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?'