Can't comment on the authenticity of this story, but I've heard it from so many sources that I'm happy to accept it as gospel. Craney was playing for HKR at the time and had been named on the teamsheet at 13. Trouble was, with minutes to go before kick-off he was nowhere to be seen. Roger Millward as coach of KR is about to go and plead with the refereree to change the teamsheet when the door burst open and in staggers our hero, reeking of fags & booze and looking like he's spent the night in a ditch. Millward delivers his version of a Fergusson hairdryer, tempered with the words "but I've told the ref, so you'll have to play". By all accounts Millward's last words before Craney stepped on to the pitch were "I don't care how you perform this afternoon, you're a disgrace and have played your last game for this club".
Needless to say, Craney proceeds to dance / waltz through the opposition defence at regular frequency, scores a hat-trick and is named man-of-the match in a big HKR win. Back in the dressing room at the end & MIllward calls Mick over. "Well played Mick, you did well there. If you can just let us know where you are & what time you'll be coming in future, that'd be fine with me"
Legend. Absolute legend. And I'm in full agreement with Ullman - best I ever saw. Word has it that the 1982 Ausies were genuinely scared of Mick Crane because they couldn't even begin to guess what he was going to do.