You really shouldn't bite like that.....
Sir Kevin would have either:
A. Used his amazing leadership skills to defuse the situation.
B. Walked away (his now famous lack of pace preventing him from running away).
C. Started a free for all and gone in 3rd or 4th man to maintain his legendary defensive reputation.
D. Thrown the offending coat on the floor and getting all the players he was out with to dance round it prompting the resident DJ to say "he clearly is the worst dancer in the squad but its worth him being here just for the way he led the team around the parka...."