Jump to content


Rugby League World Cup 2017 Tours – Register Your Interest Now!
Join TotalRL.com, League Express & Rugby League World at the 2017 Rugby League World Cup in Australia, New Zealand & Papua New Guinea! Click here for more info


Rugby League World
FREE 2016 Fixture Guide
League Express

Rugby League Yearbook 2015-2016

Photo
- - - - -

Book thread: what are you reading?


  • Please log in to reply
294 replies to this topic

#281 marklaspalmas

marklaspalmas
  • Coach
  • 12,246 posts

Posted 24 September 2015 - 11:45 AM

I probably won't be reading Morrissey's new book:biggrin:

 

Me neither. I enjoyed that review though.



#282 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 27,979 posts

Posted 24 September 2015 - 12:40 PM

Me neither. I enjoyed that review though.

This excerpt from Morrissey's book should be a front-runner for the TLS 'Bad Sex in Literature' award: “Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.”
 


Between the optimist & the pessimist
The difference is quite droll:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
The pessimist sees the hole.


#283 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 27,979 posts

Posted 24 September 2015 - 01:46 PM

In other literary news, Basketball legend and 'Airplane' co-pilot Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has written a book about Sherlock Holmes' brother Mycroft.

 

People who make fake news headlines up for fun are considering retirement.


Between the optimist & the pessimist
The difference is quite droll:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
The pessimist sees the hole.


#284 chuffer

chuffer
  • Coach
  • 6,698 posts

Posted 24 September 2015 - 02:08 PM

This excerpt from Morrissey's book should be a front-runner for the TLS 'Bad Sex in Literature' award: “Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.”
 

 

Eeeewwwww.......that's enough to put you right off your stroke



#285 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 27,979 posts

Posted 24 September 2015 - 03:13 PM

Eeeewwwww.......that's enough to put you right off your stroke

Exactly - that and #piggate in the same week - in nine months' time, there will be a short but significant dip in the human race's birthrate and future historians will wonder why...


Edited by Futtocks, 24 September 2015 - 03:14 PM.

Between the optimist & the pessimist
The difference is quite droll:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
The pessimist sees the hole.


#286 Leeds Wire

Leeds Wire
  • Coach
  • 4,063 posts

Posted 24 September 2015 - 04:50 PM

Me neither. I enjoyed that review though.

 

http://www.thepoke.c...ook-feed-today/

 

:biggrin:



#287 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 27,979 posts

Posted 24 September 2015 - 04:55 PM

Very good!


Between the optimist & the pessimist
The difference is quite droll:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
The pessimist sees the hole.


#288 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 27,979 posts

Posted 04 October 2015 - 08:53 PM

Just finished Walter Miller's A Canticle for Liebowitz, and although the third part is less coherent that the first two, it's a good read.

 

Now, there's a Laurie Lee three-fer available on Kindle, including 'Cider with Rosie' as the first volume. I'm a chapter or two into it at the moment. The sensual overload in the first three pages has already eclipsed the dry, award-seeking worthiness of the entire BBC adaptation.


Between the optimist & the pessimist
The difference is quite droll:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
The pessimist sees the hole.


#289 MaverickX111

MaverickX111
  • Coach
  • 717 posts

Posted 05 October 2015 - 09:18 AM

What's a kindle

Boom

Just read shantaram in paperback

Fabulous

#290 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 27,979 posts

Posted 10 January 2016 - 07:21 PM

'Bad Book Club' by comedian and broadcaster Robin Ince. He's found some publications that beggar belief.

 

A Kindle search reveals that Don Estelle, author of 'Sing Lofty: Thoughts of a Gemini' is mentioned by name 16 times. A good sign.

 

If you thought 'fan fiction' was a new thing, then the Eighties book 'Starlust' will set you right. There's even a fantasy about a bit of mutual fumbling with the Jam's bass player Bruce Foxton. Then there's the Barry Manilow fan who climaxes with a shriek of "COPACABANA!" before sobbing herself to sleep that her actual partner isn't really the swoonsomely anodyne Bazza.


Between the optimist & the pessimist
The difference is quite droll:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
The pessimist sees the hole.


#291 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 27,979 posts

Posted 10 January 2016 - 08:08 PM



'Bad Book Club' by comedian and broadcaster Robin Ince. He's found some publications that beggar belief.

 

A Kindle search reveals that Don Estelle, author of 'Sing Lofty: Thoughts of a Gemini' is mentioned by name 16 times. A good sign.

 

If you thought 'fan fiction' was a new thing, then the Eighties book 'Starlust' will set you right. There's even a fantasy about a bit of mutual fumbling with the Jam's bass player Bruce Foxton. Then there's the Barry Manilow fan who climaxes with a shriek of "COPACABANA!" before sobbing herself to sleep that her actual partner isn't really the swoonsomely anodyne Bazza.

Ooh, The Old Testament and Apocrypha in Limerick Verse by Christopher Goodwins. How could I resist?

 

There’s one thing you must do - Not!
In Sodom the men want you, Lot!
But quit there for Zoar
Don’t look back! But go . . . er
Bad news, your wife’s now become salt.

Edited by Futtocks, 10 January 2016 - 08:09 PM.

Between the optimist & the pessimist
The difference is quite droll:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
The pessimist sees the hole.


#292 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 27,979 posts

Posted 12 January 2016 - 11:36 AM

Not mentioned in Ince's book, however, is 'The Eye of Argon' by Jim Theis. Although you can buy it, plenty of versions exist online, like this.

 

Long thought to be a hoax by a professional writer, it is generally accepted these days to be the real thing - a mercifully short Swords'n'Sorcery tale written by a teenager with an unhealthy lust for (usually inappropriate) adjectives. Reading it aloud and pronouncing the typos without laughing has become a drinking game among fans.

 

Here's a little background and a rundown of some of the worst bits.


Between the optimist & the pessimist
The difference is quite droll:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
The pessimist sees the hole.


#293 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 27,979 posts

Posted 12 January 2016 - 02:04 PM

Researching that has brought to my attention the prose and poetry of Amanda McKittrick Ros, who writes like an 19th Century Morrissey.

 

Here's her magnum opus, 'Irene Iddesleigh'.


Between the optimist & the pessimist
The difference is quite droll:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
The pessimist sees the hole.


#294 Phil

Phil
  • Coach
  • 2,631 posts

Posted 12 January 2016 - 08:37 PM

Not mentioned in Ince's book, however, is 'The Eye of Argon' by Jim Theis. Although you can buy it, plenty of versions exist online, like this.

Long thought to be a hoax by a professional writer, it is generally accepted these days to be the real thing - a mercifully short Swords'n'Sorcery tale written by a teenager with an unhealthy lust for (usually inappropriate) adjectives. Reading it aloud and pronouncing the typos without laughing has become a drinking game among fans.

Here's a little background and a rundown of some of the worst bits.


😳😳😳😳
"Freedom without socialism is privilege and injustice, socialism without freedom is slavery and brutality" - Mikhail Bakunin

#295 Futtocks

Futtocks
  • Coach
  • 27,979 posts

Posted 08 February 2016 - 01:06 AM

Here's an oddity - Russian author Kirill Eskov wrote The Last Ringbearer in 1999. Going by the rule that history is written by the victors, this is his Lord of the Rings sequel, but where the good guys are the bad guys and vice versa.
 
Gandalf & Co. are portrayed as warmongers pushing a 'final solution' to the problem of the progressive and enlightened orcs and trolls whose burgeoning industrial revolution and enlightened civilisation is snuffed out by the forces of mysticism and sword-swinging barbarity.  The elves are seen as racial supremacists, who only desire to turn Middle Earth into a leisure park and treat the humans as amusing pets.
 
It's not brilliantly translated (Google will find you a free copy in various formats), or maybe the original text wasn't much cop to begin with, but it is an amusing conceit, written with more thoroughness and detail than you would see in regular fanfic.

Between the optimist & the pessimist
The difference is quite droll:
The optimist sees the doughnut,
The pessimist sees the hole.





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users