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ckn

Random internet link of the day

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For those of you who like XKCD, there's now what-if-XKCD

ooooo :)

Very good. One of the questions I ask my students to calculate is the speed of the millennium falcon given Han's brag in episode 4. I might nick this one.

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:D Especially "Every time someone has homosexual intercourse, God punishes us by letting Nickelback release another album."

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Old Catchphrase episode that I came across again by accident. Seen it before, it's still funny though.

Good, but not right.

:D

Here's a slightly better quality (and longer) clip of the same thing: [media=]

[/media] Edited by Futtocks

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Women's gymnastics? Leave it to the men...

[media=]

[/media]

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Shamelessly nicked from Facebook:

I bet this will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Can you imagine working for a company that only has a little more than 635 employees, but, has the following employee Statistics..

29 have been accused of spouse abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

9 have been accused of writing bad cheques

17 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year

And Collectively, this year alone, they have cost the British tax payer £92,993,748 in Expenses!!! Which organisation is this?

It's the 635 members of the House of Commons.

The same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line. What a bunch of idiots we have running our country

- it says it all... And just to top all that they probably have the best 'corporate' pension scheme in the country!!

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Another shamelessly nicked off Facebook, but I found it genuinely lough out loud funny:

These are our rules!

Please note.. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about your leaving the seat down, or not putting the lid down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. "Yes" and "No" are full sentences and perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of those ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1.. You can either ask us to do something

OR tell us how you want it done. NOT both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... REALLY.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as- Football or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Edited by Griff9of13

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1.. You can either ask us to do something

OR tell us how you want it done. NOT both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Oh God do I agree with that one

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Go on Twitter and search @JewishComedians :D

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Play '6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon' with The Oracle of Bacon.

Even obscure actors/actresses - Theda Bara has a Bacon Number of only two! :O

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