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Gonch

Paul Gascoigne spotted in Cleator

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Rumours are flying in Whitehaven that Paul "gazza" Gascoigne is the latest signing for Cumbrias worst rugby league team as his best friend Jimmy "5 bellies" Gardner has apparently taken over one of cleators finest hostelries.

Sporting a new look as a tramp in the local paper with 2 other equally dishevelled individuals Jimmy has reportedly adopted a squeaky Aussie diatribe to fool locals into thinking he was an RL coach.

Whitehaven 2010 rlfc have declined to speak to the press however an unnamed source close to the club is quoted as saying "well assa after t'carry on with t'cloon fray neighbours owts better than that, n ev urd that is gud wid financial irregularities and fits reet in with us"

With the club in a state of media blackout since the haven fanzine revealed that they had hired street magician David Blaine to make an illegal contract disappear in the wake of the Mattygate scandal we cannot confirm this rumour

Paul Gascoignes agent released a statement saying "Paul has had no approach from W2010RLFC since last years failed signing, he would have signed last year but he's a home and away fan, if they'd hired Alf Stewart instead of Harold Bishop he would be a haven player already"

In a related story Police were called to an incident in Haven town centre when all 7 remaining haven fans fought over shirts with Gazza printed on as Billy Rudd had ran

out of Z's when rumours surfaced on deludedfans.con

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Ha ha good yan lol. Yeah david blaine was at the wreck he was found curled up in the trophy cabinet apparently he'd been there for years unnoticed.

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Oh dear a wooden spool the size of Nelsons column and a cauldren the size of Haven marina

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Just poking a little fun at the local peasantry mate

I know LOL

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I give it 20 minutes until it's copy and pasted into the idiot forum

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It's such a shame you have to lower to typing abuse to get at the coach. The whole Harold Bishop thing was an insult to a decent bloke. Now you have to resort to abusing Dave Woods. This sort of abuse is not acceptable on the Haven Forum, and would not be tolerated. You will not find any personal attacks against GC.

This follows on from calling fans retarded earlier ths week, there may be rivalry and hatred, but some on here have hit all time lows.

HW

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Wahey, heres keyboardwarrior with a complete lack of sense of humour as usual. Talking about all time lows, hows that thread about morals going on your moronic site? Its hilarious seeing Jameaters talking about others having moralistic problems, kind of like Stalin saying Hitler was a bit naughty.

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It's such a shame you have to lower to typing abuse to get at the coach. The whole Harold Bishop thing was an insult to a decent bloke. Now you have to resort to abusing Dave Woods. This sort of abuse is not acceptable on the Haven Forum, and would not be tolerated. You will not find any personal attacks against GC.

This follows on from calling fans retarded earlier ths week, there may be rivalry and hatred, but some on here have hit all time lows.

HW

:O:ohmy: Seriously you must be reading a different Haven forum to me.

The offensive rubbish posted by Boxer, Choccy, Red White & Blue, Harry Callaghan about Town,

lots of unsubstantiated rumours. I've seen Choccy call Bowden on lots of occasions, and he's not

the only one. Then there were a number having a go at Stack and other players, even in the last

week some of the things said about Matty are nothing but nasty and personal. You are having a giraffe thinking all is pleasant on that site. Anything anti Town is left on while any Town fans responding get banned by the nazi style moderators.

The above piece is obviously meant in a light hearted manner which is more can be said for the

abusive Haven posters named above,

So mainly jog on and get over yourself. :lol:

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An all time low is when you swindle local businesses and taxpayers. If you don't like what you read don't come on here.....retard lol

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It's such a shame you have to lower to typing abuse to get at the coach. The whole Harold Bishop thing was an insult to a decent bloke. Now you have to resort to abusing Dave Woods. This sort of abuse is not acceptable on the Haven Forum, and would not be tolerated. You will not find any personal attacks against GC.

This follows on from calling fans retarded earlier ths week, there may be rivalry and hatred, but some on here have hit all time lows.

HW

Sense of humour bypass or what!!!!!

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It's such a shame you have to lower to typing abuse to get at the coach. The whole Harold Bishop thing was an insult to a decent bloke. Now you have to resort to abusing Dave Woods. This sort of abuse is not acceptable on the Haven Forum, and would not be tolerated. You will not find any personal attacks against GC.

This follows on from calling fans retarded earlier ths week, there may be rivalry and hatred, but some on here have hit all time lows.

HW

I believe you are upset as you lack the wit to respond.

Its ok it's not your fault your family tree has no branches

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An all time low is when you swindle local businesses and taxpayers. If you don't like what you read don't come on here.....retard lol

Maybe u should all practice what you preach and stay on your own forum then, after all this thread is a direct response to the Moral Dilemma thread on Haven Fans.

HW

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Awww, come on now people, poor little fella`s got himself all upset. Better ease off, otherwise he will have to have his mum leave his night light on in case the bad men have him wetting his bed again. Sleep tight princess.

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Don't bite their so full of double standards,its not the first time they have used that offensive term in here only last time it was much worse.They can't see there super darlings doing any wrong yet we all know if it was whitehaven players who had been locked up and bailed to appear again they would be full of it .Like the Matty saga they keep going on about what DB said but one thing he didn't deny is Matty signed for whitehaven,but yet again they are so desperate they are prepared to accept anything from him .As for you gonchy lad what a sad excuse contrary to how you talk you haven't been there or done it so to talk like you do about players who have then just about sums you up.Interesting to see if your guilty darlings own up to spare the innocent ones .

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I thinks its quite funny that gonch lad as made some good uns about us best un had to be when jjp landed in newcastle airport was quality

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Oh wow you cut me to the quick! The keyboard is truly mightier than the sword, and you're right I haven't been there and done it and I have never claimed to have. I was, at best a very average player who's highest level was Carl div 1 and who's career was ended by an overactive knife and fork.

I do however have the ability to laugh at myself unlike the majority of you guys

Would love to chat but I have to get some sleep busy day coaching GB under 17s in the morning

Does

Ps keep hiding behind your keyboard name

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Glad to see one has a sense of humour, shame you're a loan voice in a sea of single figure IQ cretins.

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It's such a shame you have to lower to typing abuse to get at the coach. The whole Harold Bishop thing was an insult to a decent bloke. Now you have to resort to abusing Dave Woods. This sort of abuse is not acceptable on the Haven Forum, and would not be tolerated. You will not find any personal attacks against GC.

This follows on from calling fans retarded earlier ths week, there may be rivalry and hatred, but some on here have hit all time lows.

HW

go and cry to someone else......... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Don't bite their so full of double standards....

Lol...... that is just typical retarded Haven logic....... You lot are quick to have a dig about other clubs financial affairs and yet it's not that long ago that morally bankrupt club of yours went into administration to avoid paying it's debts - Now that is double standards.

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So u all agree its ok to call people retarded?

HW

do one you complete knob how the hell can you come on here moaning , about town fans av a look at you own site .

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Oh ive got a sense of humour marra i go on haven forum under another name and i hate town as much as you lot hate us but i never slag town off ive too much respect for ur team at the min and too be honest ive seen town 6 times this season and i think they where the best team in the league but as for the matty crac youve got him now but he did agree to ccome to us maybe it was our choice of coach that swung it but thats life ###### happens

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