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50 Signs of Getting Old

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A list prepared by Engage Mutual. Designed for women, but most symptoms apply equally for men.


1. Feeling stiff

2. Groaning when you bend down

3. Saying: “It wasn’t like that when I was young”

4. Saying: “In my day”

5. Losing your hair

6. Not knowing any songs in the top 10

7. Getting hairy ears, eyebrows, nose and face

8. Hating noisy pubs

9. Talking a lot about creaking joints or ailments

10. Forgetting people’s names

11. Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style

12. Thinking that policemen, teachers and doctors all look  young

13. Falling asleep in front of the  TV

14. Needing an afternoon nap

15. Discovering you have no idea what young people are talking  about

16. Struggling to use technology

17. Losing touch with technical advances in tablets and  televisions

18. Starting to complain more

19. Wearing your glasses around your neck

20. Not remembering the name of any modern bands

21. Avoiding lifting heavy things  due to fear of a bad back

22. Complaining about the  rubbish on television these days

23. Misplacing your wallet, bags or keys

24. Switching from Radio 1 to Radio 2

25. Driving very slowly

26. Preferring a night in with a board game to a night on the town

27. Taking a keen interest in Fiona Bruce and the Antiques Roadshow

28. Discovering your colleagues are so young they don’t know what an Opal Fruit is

29. Listening to The Archers

30. Falling asleep after one glass of wine

31. Never going out without your coat

32. Getting bed socks for Christmas – and being very grateful

33. Discovering you can’t lose 6lb  in two days any more

34. Gasping for a cup of tea

35. Taking a flask of tea or coffee on a day out

36. Joining the Women’s Institute

37. Taking a keen interest in the garden

38. Spending more money on face creams and anti-ageing products

39. Spending money on the home or furniture rather than a night out

40. Taking a keen interest in dressing for the weather

41. Putting everyday items in the wrong place

42. Obsessive gardening or bird feeding

43. Finding you really enjoy puzzles and crosswords

44. Grumbling about the price of things going up, while the size  goes down

45. Considering going on a “no children” cruise for a holiday

46. Discovering your ears are getting bigger

47. Joining the National Trust

48. Drinking sherry

49. Feeling you have the right to tell people exactly what you are thinking, even if it isn’t polite

50. Thinking newsprint should be bigger because your eyesight is  going.


How many do you score?


I got 15

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That's not fair because Radio 1 is actual proper garbage, I work with two divs in their forties who listen to Radio 1, and they are divs.

Radio 1 was garbage when I was a kid in the Seventies and Eighties. I haven't listened to it recently, but i doubt it has improved.

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1) I always ask the othe half, er....?

5) A long time ago

VIII) Pubs? What are they? Haven't been Pub in, er, 7 years.

12) Drs, _yeah because I'm 51, and the Drs treating me last week were all 22-27 years old

15) & 16) No chance as I have a 20 year old step-daughter

18) I was complaining when I was 12, if I complained even more I would be Shadow secretary for Benefits, or GM of a Championship team.

20) I have  a step-daughter aged 20, & I love R&B

25) I Wish

30) See above

43) I am finding the Evening Standard Crossword & Suduko easier recently

50) I need reading glasses of +1.5 for Q 43, and last week I didn't see them and stood on them "Crack", oops!

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Surely, for men the list fails at Number 1! Viagra anyone? (not ME obviously!)


Not you, obviously.


Do you remember the advert for Viagra with Pele?  It was always very noticeable that Pele never actually admitted he used Viagra.  His actually words were something like "If you need help, speak to your doctor.  I would"


Not "I did" or "I have done".  But "I would".  

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As long as you score less than your age, you're fine!

Not a problem for me :) BTW I stopped listening to Radio 1 in 1976.  I mainly listen to Radio 4, Radio 4 Extra and when the Rugby's on Radio Leeds.  Absolute Radio 60's occasionally. Also in light of the current new items I also play duplicate Bridge, but would never claim it was a sport! 

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