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15 hours ago, Phil said:

Knock knock

 

me: Hello

Them: Hello we’re spreading the joyous word of our lord the king of creation

me: off or I let this dog go (slams door)

Jesus loves you Phil.

Spread the good news.

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1 hour ago, Johnoco said:

I find these people annoying but at the same time admire their conviction to go round knocking on doors trying to convince people of their 'news'. It's not for me but I can't really bring myself to be rude to them, just a firm 'not interested' seems to work.

"No thank you." works for me.

When I was a young smart a*se I used to tell any JW's who came to the door that I worked for the Blood Transfusion Service and I would ask them to sign up as donors. I never got any takers for some reason.

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1 hour ago, DavidM said:

‘ looking forward ‘ is rife now to . Everyone is thinking of or doing something ‘ looking forward ‘ . What I think we need ‘ looking forward ‘ .... I even heard a politician saying they can’t deal with all the issues because the ‘ bandwidth ‘ isn’t there with brexit dominating . I just love W1A , it’s just spot on mocking all this tripe modern speak 

"Going forward."

Aaaarrrggghhh! 

I think I can "lean in" on your point David. 🙃

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1 hour ago, DavidM said:

‘ looking forward ‘ is rife now to . Everyone is thinking of or doing something ‘ looking forward ‘ . What I think we need ‘ looking forward ‘ .... I even heard a politician saying they can’t deal with all the issues because the ‘ bandwidth ‘ isn’t there with brexit dominating . I just love W1A , it’s just spot on mocking all this tripe modern speak 

How many hats do people have and stop opening your sodding kimono!

 

 

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11 minutes ago, longboard said:

"Going forward."

Aaaarrrggghhh! 

I think I can "lean in" on your point David. 🙃

Going forward , sorry , that’s it ! As opposed to going backwards .

even when a coach is appointed nowadays , he has all the skill sets and managerial , organisational , motivational powers to fulfil our long term project and enhance the structures of the dynamic environment we are creating .... here at Hemel . Ya wat ?

Edited by DavidM

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2 hours ago, DavidM said:

Going forward , sorry , that’s it ! As opposed to going backwards .

even when a coach is appointed nowadays , he has all the skill sets and managerial , organisational , motivational powers to fulfil our long term project and enhance the structures of the dynamic environment we are creating .... here at Hemel . Ya wat ?

Gus Hedges was ahead of his time. Just thought I'd run that up the flagpole and see who salutes it.

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3 hours ago, Adelaide Tiger said:

Nice one RB.

But take it a step further like I do.  Grab a few packets of Durex then drop a packet into an unattended trolley.

Then watch them as they start putting their groceries onto the conveyor belt.  The look on their face as they hold up the packet and look at it from all angles is priceless.  Even better if they are with their partner. 😄😄😄

I slaughter their families in front of them, then burn them alive, raze their homes and salt the ground. 

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1 hour ago, Bob8 said:

I slaughter their families in front of them, then burn them alive, raze their homes and salt the ground. 

“Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentation of their women” 

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2 hours ago, Phil said:

“Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentation of their women” 

Serves them right for leaving their trolley. 

 

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As for the Jehovah's Witnesses, I used to live in a flat right by the front door, so was usually the resident to answer a knock. There used to be a pair of JDubs who 'did' the area every few months, and while one didn't have much to say for himself, the other was a very articulate and amiable guy who liked a good argument or just a chat.

I didn't ever let them in, but we had some interesting talks (not always theological) on the doorstep, if I was in the mood. If I didn't feel like talking, he was happy to move on. Then he got replaced by a pushy, dogmatic type with no more intellect than a block of cheddar, so I stopped giving them the time of day.

If you don't have a dog, you can always come to the door carrying a copy of this book. :wink:

Edited by Futtocks

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Will print that front page and stick to to some old paperback! 

Meanwhile, did you know that Vladimir  doesn't know who Dick Turpin was?  Diesel in Cambridge  £1.39 a litre so i asked the check out guy if i could meet Dick Turpin.  

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1 hour ago, JohnM said:

Will print that front page and stick to to some old paperback! 

Meanwhile, did you know that Vladimir  doesn't know who Dick Turpin was?  Diesel in Cambridge  £1.39 a litre so i asked the check out guy if i could meet Dick Turpin.  

I bet a litre of bottled water was still more expensive in that service station!

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I always remember someone I know saying that jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate Christmas ... but they always take the Christmas bonus and go to the party !

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1 hour ago, DavidM said:

I always remember someone I know saying that jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate Christmas ... but they always take the Christmas bonus and go to the party !

I worked with a couple of JDubs, and they didn't take the bonus and didn't attend the party. The latter was quite useful, as they were available to man the reception and telephones while we were out getting sloshed.

In the end, we invented a few secular excuses for celebrations through the year which they could attend, because they were nice folk. Which is more than can be said for our resident paranoid veteran, who always planned his sick-days to coincide with the Christmas party and his birthday, for reasons best left to himself.

Edited by Futtocks

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The (dis)honour of the first Christmas email goes to Chef & Brewer pubs.  No... go away, silly people.

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Driveways with signs saying “Private property, no turning”

Firstly it’s no skin off their noses and secondly it’s legally unenforceable.

I think I’m saying get a life. 

Edited by Phil

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3 hours ago, Phil said:

Driveways with signs saying “Private property, no turning”

Firstly it’s no skin off their noses and secondly it’s legally unenforceable.

I think I’m saying get a life. 

I've been known to use drives with those signs to turn around even when I don't need to.

Stickin' to the maan 😎

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On 9/6/2018 at 10:25 AM, longboard said:

Jesus loves you Phil.

Spread the good news.

I think he’s a  

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Endless betting adverts , all reeling you in and everybody wins. But especially the hand  in glove relationship between sports broadcasting and betting adverts . Every break in footy , cricket , boxing etc is a different company 

Edited by DavidM

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Android based TVs. We have a Sony telly with an Android operating system and it’s abysmal. It’s slow, clunky and about as user friendly as trying to run Windows 10 on a ZX Spectrum. 

Turning off the abysmal Youview system helped a bit but there’s far too often we press a button and it takes 3-4 seconds to do something, by then I press the button again as I think it hasn’t recognised it and does the action twice, or randomly four-five times. 

Other Android tellies we’ve seen are just as slow and useless. 

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16 minutes ago, ckn said:

Android based TVs. We have a Sony telly with an Android operating system and it’s abysmal. It’s slow, clunky and about as user friendly as trying to run Windows 10 on a ZX Spectrum. 

Turning off the abysmal Youview system helped a bit but there’s far too often we press a button and it takes 3-4 seconds to do something, by then I press the button again as I think it hasn’t recognised it and does the action twice, or randomly four-five times. 

Other Android tellies we’ve seen are just as slow and useless. 

I have a Toshiba smart TV, but I don't know the OS. Seems to work all right most of the time, but a little limited as to which apps you can install. Swings'n'roundabouts. Currently discounted.

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I usually buy f1 tickets through the exchange market as i usually only nip in and around the event, preferring to watch from a hotel suite with the posh mob...this year i've decided to buy a grandstand ticket and have just tried to.

Website didn't accept my UK card, so fair enough, i called the number as requested. Cannot pay over the phone and they've redirect me back to the website. Sigh. Not just the RFL that are utterly useless at selling tickets.

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5 hours ago, MattSantos said:

I usually buy f1 tickets through the exchange market as i usually only nip in and around the event, preferring to watch from a hotel suite with the posh mob...this year i've decided to buy a grandstand ticket and have just tried to.

Website didn't accept my UK card, so fair enough, i called the number as requested. Cannot pay over the phone and they've redirect me back to the website. Sigh. Not just the RFL that are utterly useless at selling tickets.

Can you not get a ticket for the Flyer and not get off?!

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Facebook and LinkedIn are annoying me even more than normal this week.  When I hit that filter button that says "sort by recent" then SHOW ME THE MOST RECENT THING FIRST THEN WORK BACKWARDS FROM THERE.  It's not sodding difficult, every post is time-stamped.  I don't want Facebook or LinkedIn deciding that an irrelevant post from someone I barely know that they posted yesterday should be shown first because their system thinks I didn't see it or hover over the image of them getting an award for sorting paper clips properly for long enough.  If I wanted to see that sort of "ranked" stuff then I'd leave it on the default ranking of "top stories".

I barely go on Facebook more than once every few days now because it's just so annoying and effectively non-user friendly.  LinkedIn is rapidly going the same way.

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