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ckn

Child abuse

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I’ve started writing this a dozen times and given up before starting again. 

I was repeatedly abused by a teacher at school, I don’t know if any of my peers were but let’s face it, it’s highly likely. 

I only “came out” with it few months ago to a female friend.

I didn’t know what was happening, we didn’t have “sexual abuse” in the 1970s did we? 

He’ll be dead now so there’s no resolution to be gained legally. 

I locked it away successfully in the end but it took me years and a couple of suicide attempts to realise it wasn’t my fault “look what you made me do you little ####” he said, and to stop despising myself, how could anyone love or like me if I hated myself so much?  

Not sure what to add to that folks. 

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Phil, I don't really know what to say other than I'm glad you're still with us and sharing your words.

I don't post all that much but I've been reading this forum for years and I always look forward to your input even if I don't always agree with it.

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1 hour ago, ckn said:

I see your point and I admittedly post black/white analyses of these things that can be misunderstood. I criticise vile people hiding under the Catholic Church shield but that does not make me anti-catholic. I can criticise Israel and that does not make me anti-Jew. I can criticise the Rotherham lot and that does not make me anti-Muslim. My text can seem critical of the Church but it’s subjective to the crime rather than the whole of the Catholic Church itself  

I’m right into the atheist end of the religious spectrum but I fully respect the core religions of all aspects of Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism and so on as religions of peace. Adherents to the full “books” of these religions have an element of peacefulness that am, frankly, slightly jealous of them having. 

To me, these vile people at those schools have been protected by people higher up in the church hierarchy who are really abusing the good name of the Catholic Church. At times, I hope there really is an Old Testament heaven up there, I think many of these people will get a rather different welcome than they expect. 

As I said, I was brought up in a very strict Catholic household, one where the priest was the friend of the family etc. 

It wasn't until I first came to Ireland that I understood how things must've been in the past. It is far more traditional than back home. Just last night (I'm on hols) the priest popped in at 11pm and the best China was brought out and he was fed etc. 

There is also a much greater emphasis in the culture on saving face. It drives me potty sometimes but I can well understand how they saw (and see) how saving the reputation of the church/parish as more important than the victim. 

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Not just RC schools - I went to a CofE boarding school which has just had an identical scandal - 4 teachers from my time and just after and despite the school knowing no police involvement at the time (late 80's early 90's) but one of those which was while I was at the school made it into the Express at the time so it was not just the school covering it up it was that the public just didnt really care enough at that time for there to be mileage in the press bigging it up and the Police seemed happy with an early retirement to spare the victims. remember until Soham DBS checks didnt even always show these things up.

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It’s been massive news in Australia for years.

Australia has recently had a Royal Commission into child abuse at various institutions.

7% of Catholic priests between 1950 and 2010 were accused of child sex abuse.

The commission made 2562 referrals to the police.

10.4% of abuse survivors were in prison when they gave evidence.

20.4% of Marist Brothers, 22% of Christian Brothers and 40.4% of St John of God Brothers were accused of child sex abuse.

The arrests are ongoing including some of the most senior catholic leaders ever arrested for crimes related to child abuse.

In the minds of many Australians, Catholicism and child abuse are permanently linked.

Other religions and institutions are also facing similar scenarios.

 

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Am I misunderstanding this? Isn't ckns view that '" there's a wider abuse problem in the school environment that's covered up out of embarrassment, but look over there at the brown person!". I.e, the media are treating this differently to the way they cover abuse by "brown " people.

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12 hours ago, Phil said:

I’ve started writing this a dozen times and given up before starting again. 

I was repeatedly abused by a teacher at school, I don’t know if any of my peers were but let’s face it, it’s highly likely. 

I only “came out” with it few months ago to a female friend.

I didn’t know what was happening, we didn’t have “sexual abuse” in the 1970s did we? 

He’ll be dead now so there’s no resolution to be gained legally. 

I locked it away successfully in the end but it took me years and a couple of suicide attempts to realise it wasn’t my fault “look what you made me do you little ####” he said, and to stop despising myself, how could anyone love or like me if I hated myself so much?  

Not sure what to add to that folks. 

There isn't any reply that doesn't sound trite but thanks for writing that. If nothing else it's always worth being reminded that even when we are arguing the toss about things on here that the things we're talking about have actually happened and people have really been affected. I hope you're okay.

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14 hours ago, Vambo said:

Phil, I don't really know what to say other than I'm glad you're still with us and sharing your words.

I don't post all that much but I've been reading this forum for years and I always look forward to your input even if I don't always agree with it.

Thanks Vambo

2 hours ago, gingerjon said:

There isn't any reply that doesn't sound trite but thanks for writing that. If nothing else it's always worth being reminded that even when we are arguing the toss about things on here that the things we're talking about have actually happened and people have really been affected. I hope you're okay.

Yeah I’m actually fine GJ as I alluded, I can take it out of the box and put it back again.

I have to say Andy’s man club which many of you may be aware of, is a fantastic forum for getting this kind of thing out in the open. 

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7 hours ago, JohnM said:

Am I misunderstanding this? Isn't ckns view that '" there's a wider abuse problem in the school environment that's covered up out of embarrassment, but look over there at the brown person!". I.e, the media are treating this differently to the way they cover abuse by "brown " people.

yes and i would agree - without wanting to give away too much in my schools case 4 teachers now found guilty - the 2 with the highest media coverage (despite similar charges/abuse profile) were an asian sports coach and the chaplain 

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9 hours ago, JohnM said:

Am I misunderstanding this? Isn't ckns view that '" there's a wider abuse problem in the school environment that's covered up out of embarrassment, but look over there at the brown person!". I.e, the media are treating this differently to the way they cover abuse by "brown " people.

 

18 hours ago, JohnM said:

The Mail covers it, as does the Guardian and the TV news but it's almost into the "and in other news" category.  The Guardian's was 2/3 of the way down its website yesterday morning (peak distribution time given when the report was out), the Mail was 1/2 way down and below stories about reality "stars", the Telegraph reported nothing at all (although they did have a reminder article quoting an MP saying "Britain has a problem with British Pakistani men raping and exploiting white girls.")

So, yes, there's a wider abuse problem.  Yes, the media colludes to keep it under cover, the more "establishment" the paper the more it avoids stories about "establishment" abuses.  Unless it's a story about folk "not like us" doing the abuse.

The Telegraph is a perfect example, they are not covering the Ampleforth and Downside abuse report at all yet today they posted their Rotherham article from yesterday in the 8 stories they really want you to read in the "In case you missed it" section.  Why is it so important to the Telegraph to cover Rotherham yet again and remind us to read it again yet absolutely fail to report on systemic abuse by older white men on boys under their authority?

I am absolutely convinced that if one of the two schools in the report were a Muslim school that we'd have wall-to-wall coverage demanding that it be closed and stories about "these people".

If a Muslim religious school headmaster had burned "wheelbarrows worth of evidence", that headmaster would be on the front pages getting the walk of shame into the back of a police car.  If Muslim priests had deliberately colluded to avoid giving evidence and keep the state away from them and their shame then it'd be yet more evidence that these people and their religion are evil.

Story after story, year after year, about some abuses being prosecuted yet it's treated as individuals doing it (despite clear and irrefutable evidence that the establishment helped cover it up) but as soon as it's a non-white establishment "problem" then it starts getting spoken about in generalist all-inclusive terms such as "British Pakistanis".  Where's the calls for Christian religious schools to be closed despite repeated cases of abuse and the establishment collusion to keep it quiet?  Where's the articles about "Britain has a problem with Christian priests raping and exploiting boys?" (Note, not even I in my rant can be as dog-whistle to mention the colour of the boys)

If you can't see that there is systematic collusion to protect the "establishment" despite repeated evidence that they deserve the same coverage as is given to other classes of abusers then you're absolutely blinkered to the point of no redemption.

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I thought I'd put this on a new post rather than the one above...

If you think I'm defending Muslims or complaining that they're getting the rough end of the stick then you're wrong.  An abuser is an abuser and I lose no sleep about them getting front-page commentary about their abuses.

What I am complaining about is that we STILL cannot break the establishment attitude of "none of your business" when the police, courts or other authority figures try to investigate abuse against children.  Until that power is absolutely broken and ground under then abuses will still happen.  Abuse will still happen when headmasters would rather expel a child than investigate abuse then those headmasters need to be added to DBS barring lists.  When religious figures would rather send a priest teacher off to a minor country Parish rather than give them the bum's rush out of the religion and straight into police custody.

Why should abusers bother to stop when they know the establishment will protect them?

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