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"Can I get a...." Which reminds me of two guys that were window shopping, one said to the other "that's the one I'd get" just then Polyphemus came round the corner and thumped him.

In these Brexit times, it is clear that it is time to clamp down hard of fussy eaters and throw them out of the UK. I do not mean people with allergies, nor veggies. I mean people who not only prefer boring food, but insist that everyone else has boring food too. I recently joined a Danish project group in Portsmouth. They were eating at a Jamie Oliver's and the Holiday Inn as apparently, there was not realistic chance of finding something better in an English city. In the first week, we had found several far better places and sure enough the one who had insisted that there was nothing better and it was England's fault that the food was bland had chosed the most boring thing on every menu. You want korma? That's fine. I will have a Madras. But you want to share and you do not like spicey food? No - we are not having tikka masala and korma as I do not have the palate of the five year old. Indeed, from next month, in that scenario, we are having madras and vindaloo. In the USA, the situation is worse. The disagreement about whether one packet or two of coffee go into the filter coffee machine should be straight forward. Put two in and it is easy to add hot water to your coffee if you like it weaker. But no! The boring people want to have one packet as they are not happy unless everyone is bored too. And oysters! My Mum was having her first oyster. Boring eater has to continually shout about how disgusting oysters are while she tries to eat it. They cannot handle people enjoying life outside of their pathetic boundaries. And people who are veggie, but will eat chicken. They can flip right off. People who sneer at black pudding, offal, or pork scratchings, but will eat off that stuff if it is mushed up and sold in a Jamie Oliver ready made lasagne. Generally, will eat any food as long as it is boring and ideally everyone else should have to do the same.

100% agree. Fatty black pud is a breakfast essential. Not many do a nice savoury duck nowadays but you can still get em on donny market. Love a nice duck me...

Nowt wrong with a bit of black pudding especially the one with the lathe globules of fat. It makes a breakfast and a slice or two of savoury duck doesn't go amiss either.

Worse still: Co-workers. It's COLLEAGUES! !!!!!!!!! And its LESSONS....Not learnings And it's ME...not Myself! PS....I find varifocals great, though the utility depends on how strong or weak the prescription. Audio books never did it for me, but I can change the font size on my various devices that run Kindle.

Be careful! Bifocals and varifocals take some getting used to. You might want to avoid staircases when wearing them. I wear a very thin pair of reading glasses when teaching (I can see the students over them and read the book through them - much like bifocals). I once forgot to take them off, walked out of the classroom and missed my step on the staircase. I avoided a nasty fall only by reaching out and grabbing the bannister. You have been warned.

I only get a chance to read at night. Have two kids under 3, I tend to get a page in and then fall asleep. Audiobooks are a great distraction and can even make me look forward to a journey. I started with the complete works of Sherlock Holmes and each short story was about the length of a journey. Great stuff.

The memsahib lost her house key last week whilst at work. Somehow it was my fault......