Wow, what an idiot he's been. I've not even heard that term for years. A ban of a couple of games, with education seems about right to me. A directed racial or homophobic slur should be 8.games at least. Just my opinion though
That would certainly work to keep it secret until the end, as the wave function would only collapse and resolve once the result was observed by opening the enverlope
Stones Bitter Championship sounds good.
TGG would be best
"Rugby, but interesting" would be satirical
Premier Rugby League is the most likely, or maybe Rugby league Elite.
You can play this a few ways. Offer to lend the players and make up an agreed score before the game. Or let them start with ten and lend players when the game is going away from them. Or lend players and see what happens. I'd go for the latter to be honest. Have a competitive game and enjoy it