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On 12/09/2020 at 22:46, The Hallucinating Goose said:

Answer the phone and say in a distraught tone,

"I've killed my wife and dumped her body in the river. It's not my fault! The voices made me do it! I'm heartbroken, I love her! I can't take this anymore!" 

Scream manically and then pop a balloon. 

*click* 😁

Oh the joy of getting a call centre ring me.  My wife just shakes her head and says ‘Oh, no’.

Foreign Caller ... ‘We are offering you a free holiday’.  Me ‘Fantastic’. Foreign  Caller rattles through their script, the excitement in their voice rises as they see a commission looming and they talk about the location and facility etc and every so often I murmur my excitement.  Foreign Caller asks for my name then I say ‘I haven’t got a computer so can you send the details to my partner who will accompany me ...... my boyfriend is called Dave’.  You can hear the Foreign Caller thinking ‘I am sure Dave is a blokes name’ then ‘click’.

Then the the Foreign Caller saying ‘Your computer has a fault’.  Sat on the settee I say ‘Thank you for alerting me.  I am on my computer now so can you please tell me what to do’.  Sensing I am a dim witted computer illiterate - which I am -they transfer the call to their manager.  He comes on an talks me through the actions I need to take and I act even dumber which winds him up but he senses that he is cleverer than me and I will give them access to my files so he continues.  At some point I say ‘There is a big message on my computer screen’.  He is confused and asks ‘What does it say.’.  I reply ‘It says beware of scamming bast..ds’.  Most callers click off immediately but sometimes they stay on line and we have a right old slanging match.

Happy memories.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Why oh why are the government not broadcasting a public information film on how to wear a mask?

I note also that packs of masks do not have a printed label on them showing people how to wear them.

Signed

Confused Coventry.

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Ron Banks

Bears and Barrow

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2 hours ago, Bearman said:

Why oh why are the government not broadcasting a public information film on how to wear a mask?

I note also that packs of masks do not have a printed label on them showing people how to wear them.

Signed

Confused Coventry.

“Charlie says wear a sodding mask”

"When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your arms and shout"

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4 hours ago, ckn said:

“Charlie says wear a sodding mask”

*Charlie says cover your mouth AND your nose *

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  • 4 weeks later...

Am I allowed an omnirant? Please?

And again; The word is "book", not "pre-book" 

and again, the words are "police force" not "police service"

and again, "hands - face - space"

my idiot next door neighbour, a bit of a covidiot, ( If I catch it , I catch it...you've got to die of something, sometime!) told us two days ago that his wife, mid 70s, diabetic, heart and other problems has been ill with the virus, tested positive and been quarantined  12 days ago and constantly remined by phone by NHS Test and Trace ( as they don't have smart phones). Fortunately she has not (yet) needed hospital treatment.  During this time he's been about and about and told us of other he knows with the virus.  He has no symptoms so has not tested but who knows what damage he is doing to others,

And the consequence?

 Here are the figures for our small town of 3,500 people, once one of the lowest in the country, now one of the highest.

People tested positive by specimen date, seven days to 13th November = 76

Rate per 100k resident population: 1179.6

 

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Four legs good - two legs bad

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Not so much a rant as a ' not sure where to put this' moment

From my newsfeed -

1. BBC Radio 1 will play an edited version of Christmas favourite 'Fairytale Of New York' in a bid to avoid offending listeners. The Pogues' gritty festive hit with Kirsty MacColl is a Christmas staple, though in recent years it has been the focus of debate over its lyrics. The song includes the words "######" and "slut". This year, Radio 1 will play an alternative version of the track, with the record label providing different lyrics sung by MacColl. It is understood Radio 1 bosses were wary of offending listeners with derogatory terms for gender and sexuality.

2. The BBC has sparked a huge debate after it had replaced the word "fishermen" with "fisherpeople" in a bid to use gender-neutral terms when discussing job descriptions.   It came to light when Katya Adler, the broadcaster’s Europe editor, used the term “fisherpeople” while talking about post-Brexit fishing rights in the UK. Her mention of the word set off a huge debate on social media, with some users branding it “stupid” and “ridiculous”.

PC gone mad or perfectly acceptable ?

 

Jam Eater  1.(noun. jam eeter) A Resident of Whitehaven or Workington. Offensive.  It is now a term of abuse that both towns of West Cumbria use for each other especially at Workington/Whitehaven rugby league derby matches.

St Albans Centurions Website 

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5 minutes ago, Exiled Townie said:

Not so much a rant as a ' not sure where to put this' moment

From my newsfeed -

1. BBC Radio 1 will play an edited version of Christmas favourite 'Fairytale Of New York' in a bid to avoid offending listeners. The Pogues' gritty festive hit with Kirsty MacColl is a Christmas staple, though in recent years it has been the focus of debate over its lyrics. The song includes the words "######" and "slut". This year, Radio 1 will play an alternative version of the track, with the record label providing different lyrics sung by MacColl. It is understood Radio 1 bosses were wary of offending listeners with derogatory terms for gender and sexuality.

2. The BBC has sparked a huge debate after it had replaced the word "fishermen" with "fisherpeople" in a bid to use gender-neutral terms when discussing job descriptions.   It came to light when Katya Adler, the broadcaster’s Europe editor, used the term “fisherpeople” while talking about post-Brexit fishing rights in the UK. Her mention of the word set off a huge debate on social media, with some users branding it “stupid” and “ridiculous”.

PC gone mad or perfectly acceptable ?

 

Acceptable Fisherfolk, not Fisher people, Actors across the gender OK. Fisher People sounds stupid.

Editing Radio 1's version and not Radio 2's version sounds like gender/age profiling, and should be stopped. Play the original version, in fact call the Pogues their original name, Pogue Mahone. I know what it means in Irish Gaelic.

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35 minutes ago, ivans82 said:

But its still ok to play some rap on the radio glorifying violence , the use of guns and being extremely derogatory towards women .

Do they play that on Radio 1?

I don't have a problem with a Radio Edit of Fairytale of New York, plenty of tracks have had one. Heart of Glass had a line about being a pain in the ass that on the radio was "soon found out it had a heart of glass" Christina Aguilera's Candyman had a few strategic bleeps on the Radio and Money For Nothing had a version with a different reference to Boy George.

Also it's not been banned, Radio 2 still allow Laurence Fox and his chums to get their dose of seasonal casual bigotry.

Also Also I'd rather a song was taken off the playlist for containing an offensive homophobic slur than for mentioning or hinting at homosexuality as used to be the case until quite recently. 

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I don't know why the news feels the need to report really upsetting and distressing things in such an open way. I was just scrolling through the news stories from my local rag, the Hull daily mail and I see a headline, "Man in court after raping girl so violently she passed out, while his partner watched" which was followed by a short summary of what went on which I took in as I scrolled past.

This is a horrible thing that I hate to read about because quite frankly I find it very upsetting and think any kind of sexual abuse is the worst thing in the world by far and the newspaper will know a lot of people feel the same way so why shout the facts at me and upset me? I know this kind of thing goes on and if I was interested in finding out about it I would actively seek out the info.

Sure report it if you want, name and shame the evil ba**ards but can't the headline just be something like, "Man and partner in court for rape"? That is much more sensitive and doesn't punch me in the face in the same way. I am genuinely upset by reading that headline and the little summary that followed it whereas I wouldn't have been too bothered if I wasn't given the details of the incident without actually looking for them. 

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21 hours ago, ivans82 said:

Strangely enough some of the biggest number ones could be classed as derogatory i.e. Mungo Jerrys  In The Summertime.........If her daddies rich take her out for a meal , if her daddies poor just do what you feel.......just one example .

the line that goes  “Have a drink have a drive 

go out and see what you can find “

might have something to do with why you don’t hear it so much these days 

 

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On 04/10/2020 at 10:31, Adelaide Tiger said:

Oh the joy of getting a call centre ring me.  My wife just shakes her head and says ‘Oh, no’.

Foreign Caller ... ‘We are offering you a free holiday’.  Me ‘Fantastic’. Foreign  Caller rattles through their script, the excitement in their voice rises as they see a commission looming and they talk about the location and facility etc and every so often I murmur my excitement.  Foreign Caller asks for my name then I say ‘I haven’t got a computer so can you send the details to my partner who will accompany me ...... my boyfriend is called Dave’.  You can hear the Foreign Caller thinking ‘I am sure Dave is a blokes name’ then ‘click’.

Then the the Foreign Caller saying ‘Your computer has a fault’.  Sat on the settee I say ‘Thank you for alerting me.  I am on my computer now so can you please tell me what to do’.  Sensing I am a dim witted computer illiterate - which I am -they transfer the call to their manager.  He comes on an talks me through the actions I need to take and I act even dumber which winds him up but he senses that he is cleverer than me and I will give them access to my files so he continues.  At some point I say ‘There is a big message on my computer screen’.  He is confused and asks ‘What does it say.’.  I reply ‘It says beware of scamming bast..ds’.  Most callers click off immediately but sometimes they stay on line and we have a right old slanging match.

Happy memories.

Caller: I am phoning about your recent accident.

Me: Great, let me get my paperwork.

Then I go to the shop for half an hour, they never seem to be holding on when I get back.

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Oooh, I nearly fell for it.

I am being Evicted so my landlord can sell the place.

I got a knock on my door and when i opened it he said he was here for the evaluation.

I told him i had not had an email about this, thinking he was from an estate agents, then he ran off another 5 flats in my block he had to do as well. I refused to let him in, & closed the door on him, because 2 of the flat numbers i know are NOT up for sale.

I then went for a shave, while I was contemplating life & the Universe, I realised that the flat numbers have recently had a TV License threat letter.

If I had allowed him in he would see my TV, but not my license, (as its packed away somewhere in Bangladesh).

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1 hour ago, Bleep1673 said:

There is an advert on tv for a Phillips electric razor that is evaluated by 7 barbers over 108 customers, that is less barbers than in Hastings town centre.

That the kind of evaluating the Covid vaccine has had.

I always read the small print on adverts. Vast majority of them, especially beauty or bathroom products, will be something like 60% of 53 liked it. So about 20 people out of 53 did not like the product? That's a large number of people, it's not something the company should be boasting about. And the random number of people always gets me, almost like they've actually surveyed, say 100 people, but just knocked off some of the bad reviews. 

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Those stupidly condescending ASDA adverts. Some bloke up a ladder pretending to put up christmas lights, "christmas is going to be different this year", gives knowing look into camera.

No sherlock , there's 60,000 families have lost someone to covid. Very poor taste, very poorly thought out

Wibble

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13 hours ago, Bleep1673 said:

There is an advert on tv for a Phillips electric razor that is evaluated by 7 barbers over 108 customers, that is less barbers than in Hastings town centre.

That the kind of evaluating the Covid vaccine has had.

My wife and I counted the number of barbers in Gosford Street Coventry last week.

The street is about 250 yards long and has 9 barbers...go figure.

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Ron Banks

Bears and Barrow

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 29/12/2020 at 12:39, Mumby Magic said:

Drivers using the hard shoulder when they shouldn't. As in driving on it. I agree it helps with congestion but it allows for unintelligent to think they can use it anytime.

Is there any "Hard Shoulder" anymore, now all the Motorways have/are being converted to Smart Roads?

Corrected your spelling, as you were probably texting while driving. Also very bad grammar.

Edited by Bleep1673
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