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Suicide/Mental Issues


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On 18/05/2020 at 17:22, Damien said:

This is a good watch regarding Luke Chadwick who played for Man Utd regarding the abuse he received from both fans and media regarding his appearance and the effect it had on him. Also Jason Lee is on regarding the treatment he received. Its good the way Nick Hancock is on to give his view as the host of the show They Think Its All Over which fuelled the abuse at the time. Its all too easy to forget the effect abuse can have on professional sports people, especially abuse they can do little about:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p08dh3jc

Abusing players on the way they look need parking I guess 

 

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3 hours ago, Bedfordshire Bronco said:

Seperations for me in the past have been very painful. They can make it hard to see any positives in life and hard to see a future. Also makes it hard to make good decisions 

I'm not pill pushing in any way but I found speaking to the doctor then a few months on meds helped. Meant I could see clearly 

There is Always light at the end of the tunnel mate and how you are feeling now will not last forever 

Thanks everyone. Just felt lost for a few days. Ill probably elaborate more tomorrow but I would never do anything severe as I love my boys and love life. Ive realised what was everything I wanted in a marriage on reflection wasnt. 

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@Mumby Magic I'm going through my own separation at the moment also.  It's been a very difficult time as the ex is extremely adept at guilt tripping me.  There are 24 hour text lines I've found useful over here, texting allows me to structure my thoughts a bit rather than getting tripped up over my words or getting embarrassed speaking. 

I'm fortunate in that I have a couple of very close friends who offer support, but also a good counselor and a psychologist who help to keep me grounded in who I am and not let the irrational thoughts take me off in the wrong direction.

By all means private message me if you need support and I'll do my best to help.

Best wishes mate.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Since lockdown our food/cooking has gone up a notch ( it was already really good ) and a lot of this has been to do with looking at what's in the larder & fridge and moving on from there.

Of course this is also why we're suffering from covid weight as well as covid hair.

Ultimately our lack of trust in the government may be overcome by the confidence we have in the people who cut our hair etc but our tendency is to trust no one and so far the evidence is backing us up.

And covid food seems to be the only real success.

 

Edited by Oxford

 

 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Thanks for all that have messaged etc. I am in a much better place. Walked outof my job as that qas also a contributing factor. People judged me. Saying I was being rash and not if sane mind. I was and it was the best decision.I made. Luckily managed to get a delivery job where I work on my own with the radio playing. In addition Im back on the dating scene after 22 years.😰😰 

Had my first ever date for that time. She had nearly 3 bottles of Pinot Grigio, Couldnt walk straight after the third pub and I had to spend 36 quid to make sure she got home safe. 😂😂😂😂😂 Surely theyre not all like this!

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On 29/06/2020 at 01:18, CanaBull said:

@Mumby Magic I'm going through my own separation at the moment also.  It's been a very difficult time as the ex is extremely adept at guilt tripping me.  There are 24 hour text lines I've found useful over here, texting allows me to structure my thoughts a bit rather than getting tripped up over my words or getting embarrassed speaking. 

I'm fortunate in that I have a couple of very close friends who offer support, but also a good counselor and a psychologist who help to keep me grounded in who I am and not let the irrational thoughts take me off in the wrong direction.

By all means private message me if you need support and I'll do my best to help.

Best wishes mate.

Writing stuff down is a great way of making thinks more copable.

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"You clearly have never met Bob8 then, he's like a veritable Bryan Ferry of RL." - Johnoco 19 Jul 2014

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2 hours ago, Mumby Magic said:

Thanks for all that have messaged etc. I am in a much better place. Walked outof my job as that qas also a contributing factor. People judged me. Saying I was being rash and not if sane mind. I was and it was the best decision.I made. Luckily managed to get a delivery job where I work on my own with the radio playing. In addition Im back on the dating scene after 22 years.😰😰 

Had my first ever date for that time. She had nearly 3 bottles of Pinot Grigio, Couldnt walk straight after the third pub and I had to spend 36 quid to make sure she got home safe. 😂😂😂😂😂 Surely theyre not all like this!

I’m not sure I’m happy with you dating my wife. 

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7 minutes ago, Mumby Magic said:

Must be me. My confidence is slowly building. Went on a date with another lass yesterday. She got nissed too. 😣😣😣😂😂

I think I've been drunk on most dates in my life! 

I did lots of Internet dating before I met my wife. Had a lot of fun but avoided 'dinner dates' after a while as it got expensive! 

I actually had some nice cafe dates with coffee drinking! I usually had a couple of drinks to loosen myself up before going though! 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Well Im glad to say Ive come out tge other side. I jumped ship from tesco as it was weighing me down. Got a job shortly after driving and delivering and its a good move for me. Ive gone from no affection in years to being back in the dating game too. Stay strong if youre struggling people.

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10 hours ago, Mumby Magic said:

Well Im glad to say Ive come out tge other side. I jumped ship from tesco as it was weighing me down. Got a job shortly after driving and delivering and its a good move for me. Ive gone from no affection in years to being back in the dating game too. Stay strong if youre struggling people.

Great news and a great message, MM.

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 06/09/2020 at 19:58, Wiltshire Warrior Dragon said:

Great news and a great message, MM.

Well ironically the day after that I had a dip but rode the day out.

Part of the new MM was a new job delivering vehicle parts. Well today was surreal. Driving back to base in Leeds I looked up at a bridge and saw a man the other side of the railing looking down ready to jump. Surreal to see tbh. Its a what to do know scenario. Anyway rung 999 but thankfully someone rang b4 me and it looks like he came back over the railings. I made a thing to be thete for others who are struggling. Ive always thought I was almost on my own but people on here and other friends have reAched out to me. The least I can do is reach out to others too. 💕💕💕

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18 hours ago, Mumby Magic said:

Well ironically the day after that I had a dip but rode the day out.

Part of the new MM was a new job delivering vehicle parts. Well today was surreal. Driving back to base in Leeds I looked up at a bridge and saw a man the other side of the railing looking down ready to jump. Surreal to see tbh. Its a what to do know scenario. Anyway rung 999 but thankfully someone rang b4 me and it looks like he came back over the railings. I made a thing to be thete for others who are struggling. Ive always thought I was almost on my own but people on here and other friends have reAched out to me. The least I can do is reach out to others too. 💕💕💕

I don't know if I would say I'm glad I have experienced depression/suicidality but it has definitely made me more compassionate and aware of others, and I'm glad you've also experienced that element of post-traumatic growth.

I'm not sure if you did this but it's probably good knowledge for people generally - if someone is suspected to be suicidal, you should ring the police rather than the ambulance service. The police will bring paramedics with them, but only the police have the power to detain people. 

 

On another note, I decided to finally bite the bullet and start therapy this month. Mental health has been pretty good for the last year (turns out medication works ridiculously well for me) so I figured now was a sensible time to try and work on myself long-term. As a working class Northern lad I've probably never learned to talk about how I'm feeling so it has been nice to be able to start that process. It's also weirdly enjoyable having someone you can chat about anything to and they have no choice but to listen! 3 sessions in and I think I'm already seeing some benefit 

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2 hours ago, Saint 1 said:

I don't know if I would say I'm glad I have experienced depression/suicidality but it has definitely made me more compassionate and aware of others, and I'm glad you've also experienced that element of post-traumatic growth.

I'm not sure if you did this but it's probably good knowledge for people generally - if someone is suspected to be suicidal, you should ring the police rather than the ambulance service. The police will bring paramedics with them, but only the police have the power to detain people. 

 

On another note, I decided to finally bite the bullet and start therapy this month. Mental health has been pretty good for the last year (turns out medication works ridiculously well for me) so I figured now was a sensible time to try and work on myself long-term. As a working class Northern lad I've probably never learned to talk about how I'm feeling so it has been nice to be able to start that process. It's also weirdly enjoyable having someone you can chat about anything to and they have no choice but to listen! 3 sessions in and I think I'm already seeing some benefit 

Yep rang Police.

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8 hours ago, Saint 1 said:

I don't know if I would say I'm glad I have experienced depression/suicidality but it has definitely made me more compassionate and aware of others, and I'm glad you've also experienced that element of post-traumatic growth.

I'm not sure if you did this but it's probably good knowledge for people generally - if someone is suspected to be suicidal, you should ring the police rather than the ambulance service. The police will bring paramedics with them, but only the police have the power to detain people. 

 

On another note, I decided to finally bite the bullet and start therapy this month. Mental health has been pretty good for the last year (turns out medication works ridiculously well for me) so I figured now was a sensible time to try and work on myself long-term. As a working class Northern lad I've probably never learned to talk about how I'm feeling so it has been nice to be able to start that process. It's also weirdly enjoyable having someone you can chat about anything to and they have no choice but to listen! 3 sessions in and I think I'm already seeing some benefit 

I'm glad it's working for you. I get the feeling you have to go against what your problem is, ie, reach out. That's easy in an environment like this. I haven't heard from anyone in months. I feel like what's the point? I don't have the close family that I had until last year, I mean, someone I can talk to on a daily basis. I also feel like a burden if I make contact with the family who are left.

Learn to listen without distortion and learn to look without imagination.

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  • 2 months later...

Haven’t posted on this thread for a while and it seems a good time for an update.  Considering the upheaval that 2020 has brought, I’ve only had a few fleeting thoughts of terminal solutions, certainly none ever to be acted upon or which had definite plans behind them.

Leaving my ex was the best decision I’ve made; through therapy I’ve learned more about emotional difficulties and that just because I’m a man and she’s a woman doesn’t mean she’s weaker than me and is perfectly capable of emotional abuse.  I’ve had to learn I’m not weak or stupid for not being able to see it for what it was, to cope with it and that it took strength to get out.  That I wasn’t less for being afraid of an accomplished manipulator.

I’ve had serious guilt and regret at leaving my son, but with the therapist we are also rebuilding positively.  It really sucks this year, but with Zoom and video calls we’ve probably talked more than we have in several years.  Due to current restrictions it will be a virtual Christmas for us with presents being opened on Boxing Day.  Far from being a time to survive and get through, it’s a day I’m really looking forward to this year.

I am rooming with a very supportive mate who has had his own separation so it’s a good mutual thing.  The ex has finally started to engage in the legal process so hopefully a year after leaving we could be in the final stages of coming to an agreement.

I’ve maintained my weight loss of 70+lbs this year, I’m using around half as many painkillers as I’d had in the past, about 60% fewer anti-inflammatories and nerve calming meds.  I don’t take sleep aids or anti-depressants any more.

The supportive online community at Weight Watchers has helped teach me to share and to reach out as I’ve kept my weight down and mobility up.

I still have bad times, but they’re hours now instead of days, weeks or even months.  There’s still a long way to go for me, but I’m a lot further along than I was. I have some rough times still ahead, but I know I’ll deal with them.

For the first time in a long time, there’s hope for a new year.

Best wishes to everyone and thank you for this supportive part of the site.

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2 hours ago, CanaBull said:

For the first time in a long time, there’s hope for a new year.

Best wishes to everyone and thank you for this supportive part of the site.

You have already come a very long way.  Really well done.  Keep going and thank you for sharing with us it's really good to hear. x

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In the blink of an eye it could all be taken away.  Be grateful always.

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That's a really positive post Cana, well done for seeking help of a therapist. Sometimes an outsider can help you see things you couldn't before. Emotional abuse is often forgotten or the impact underestimated.

Hope 2021 is better for you.  

Edited by Red Willow
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13 hours ago, CanaBull said:

There’s still a long way to go for me, but I’m a lot further along than I was. I have some rough times still ahead, but I know I’ll deal with them.

Really pleased to read this. Even if there are some wobbles on the journey from now then you know you're not weak if they knock you. And, as always, everyone on this site (well, most of them) are absolutely here any time you need that support.

All the best.

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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. (Terry Pratchett)

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A few days a go a colleague nearly broke down while telling me that it was me treating him as a human being that saved him from the horrible thoughts that were moving in as a result of his terrible supervisor. 

I had no idea I had that sort of impact.  Be nice to people folks... you might be helping them more than you realise.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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