Jump to content

Suicide/Mental Issues


Recommended Posts

4 hours ago, CanaBull said:

Not sure if this is the right time to put this out there but i'm not looking forward to the next week or so.  Come January it will be two years since I separated from my ex.  I left her due to her bullying, controlling and hoarding.  I see my 16 year old son for 6 hours every saturday and feel ridiculously guilty for leaving him in that situation, though his experience with her is different to mine.  

The separation is particularly acrimonious and I'm struggling to get the house sold to split the assets.  

The friend I'm staying with will be heading to the US for Christmas so while I will have my boy for a few hours on Christmas Day I will be on my own for the holidays for the first time in years.  Earlier I was okay with that but as it's got closer the what ifs have started.

Fortunately I got myself into a good therapist this last year or so, so have support there but don't have an extensive support network, this here is a way of, not necessarily forcing that's perhaps the wrong word, but ensuring I coommunicate meaningfully somehow over the coming days.

Oh, and there's something of a pandemic too.

If anyone else is on their own and just wants to shoot the breeze about anything at all, I guess we can all chip in on here or by DM if it's more sensitive.  

Best wishes to all.

The kid will still love you regardless, when I got divorced I chose to be by myself for several Christmas dinners, in fact when my dad knew I was have egg and chips he wanted to come to mine.

  • Like 2

Carlsberg don't do Soldiers, but if they did, they would probably be Brits.

http://www.pitchero....hornemarauders/

Link to comment
Share on other sites


4 hours ago, CanaBull said:

Not sure if this is the right time to put this out there but i'm not looking forward to the next week or so.  Come January it will be two years since I separated from my ex.  I left her due to her bullying, controlling and hoarding.  I see my 16 year old son for 6 hours every saturday and feel ridiculously guilty for leaving him in that situation, though his experience with her is different to mine.  

The separation is particularly acrimonious and I'm struggling to get the house sold to split the assets.  

The friend I'm staying with will be heading to the US for Christmas so while I will have my boy for a few hours on Christmas Day I will be on my own for the holidays for the first time in years.  Earlier I was okay with that but as it's got closer the what ifs have started.

Fortunately I got myself into a good therapist this last year or so, so have support there but don't have an extensive support network, this here is a way of, not necessarily forcing that's perhaps the wrong word, but ensuring I coommunicate meaningfully somehow over the coming days.

Oh, and there's something of a pandemic too.

If anyone else is on their own and just wants to shoot the breeze about anything at all, I guess we can all chip in on here or by DM if it's more sensitive.  

Best wishes to all.

We must be parallel. I'm 2 years in January too. The only time in 22 years and I've stuck up for myself. As usual I've been told what's happening at Xmas. Ive only got the boys 5 small 🎁 whereas shell spend loads. I'm really self assured now. Things are coming together slowly. Do the best you can Cana with the cards u are dealt. Don't be scared of asking for more time etc. Good luck matey

  • Like 2

Like poor jokes? Thejoketeller@mullymessiah

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Marauder said:

The kid will still love you regardless, when I got divorced I chose to be by myself for several Christmas dinners, in fact when my dad knew I was have egg and chips he wanted to come to mine.

Really appreciate this one. 🙏

As his mum is doing dinner we're pretty much having breakfast.  Bacon, eggs, pancakes, maple syrup and I'm spoiling him rotten this year. 😀

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Mumby Magic said:

We must be parallel. I'm 2 years in January too. The only time in 22 years and I've stuck up for myself. As usual I've been told what's happening at Xmas. Ive only got the boys 5 small 🎁 whereas shell spend loads. I'm really self assured now. Things are coming together slowly. Do the best you can Cana with the cards u are dealt. Don't be scared of asking for more time etc. Good luck matey

It's a long road, certainly hard admitting she was/is effective as a bully.  A lot of work has gone into rebuilding the confidence that took me all over Europe and to a new country by 24.

I've spoiled my lad rotten this year and I make no apologies, though I know it'll be met with the inevitable criticisms and guilt trips.  Tough for her.  I'm just going to be me and enjoy it with the time I have.  What I tend to have challenges with is second guessing myself after the fact, though at least I'm a lot more aware of that now.

Thank you for the kindness, really appreciate that, thank you! 🙏

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, CanaBull said:

It's a long road, certainly hard admitting she was/is effective as a bully.  A lot of work has gone into rebuilding the confidence that took me all over Europe and to a new country by 24.

I've spoiled my lad rotten this year and I make no apologies, though I know it'll be met with the inevitable criticisms and guilt trips.  Tough for her.  I'm just going to be me and enjoy it with the time I have.  What I tend to have challenges with is second guessing myself after the fact, though at least I'm a lot more aware of that now.

Thank you for the kindness, really appreciate that, thank you! 🙏

Matey it's almost the same. Most on here know me as placid and laid back. It's going to get to a stage where I have to stand up for myself. Not like me. But Xmas will be a tell tale sign. Like u say stay strong pn me any time bud. 👌👌

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Like poor jokes? Thejoketeller@mullymessiah

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, CanaBull said:

It's a long road, certainly hard admitting she was/is effective as a bully.  A lot of work has gone into rebuilding the confidence that took me all over Europe and to a new country by 24.

I've spoiled my lad rotten this year and I make no apologies, though I know it'll be met with the inevitable criticisms and guilt trips.  Tough for her.  I'm just going to be me and enjoy it with the time I have.  What I tend to have challenges with is second guessing myself after the fact, though at least I'm a lot more aware of that now.

Thank you for the kindness, really appreciate that, thank you! 🙏

Enjoy.

You are a decent and sensitive guy and it is such men who when treated like dirt often go down the red pill route. That you are not doing that shows a strength and lack of bitterness.

  • Thanks 1

"You clearly have never met Bob8 then, he's like a veritable Bryan Ferry of RL." - Johnoco 19 Jul 2014

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Bob8 said:

Enjoy.

You are a decent and sensitive guy and it is such men who when treated like dirt often go down the red pill route. That you are not doing that shows a strength and lack of bitterness.

The cold yet twisted logic of going down that route is definitely one of the scariest points.  Thank you for the kind words 🙏

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Living on my own at this time of year can be hard. I have some people around me. Christmas Day I will not be alone, I have my daughter coming for a visit.

One thing that keeps my mind active is the Metro Quick Crossword & the 3 Sudoku, the X-word I had a few wobbles on today, but completed the 3 sudoku very easily. Feel good about that.

Edited by CornwallRL
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 19/12/2021 at 08:51, Johnoco said:

 Which begs another question, does ‘madness’ run in families? 

Like physical illnesses, it will be some combination of nature and nurture. Latent susceptibility, made manifest by life circumstances.

In my case, forewarned was forearmed. Mindful of a propensity to be intensely meticulous, I realized the value in knowing when to stop, pull back, take a break. Particularly when studying. Moreover, anyone who thinks they might have an inherited predisposition for neurological harm should never underestimate the importance of good quality sleep.

On 19/12/2021 at 08:51, Johnoco said:

 Possibly this is where I get a slight mistrust of medical experts from.

In the late 70s/early 80s, mental health professionals made scant effort to explain anything to the families of patients. And certainly not to a child. 

A few music references -

Ramones - Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment

The Police - Voices Inside My Head (track on Zenyatta Mondatta)

And these lines from The Fall track "Repetition" - "Oh mental hospitals. They put electrodes in your brain and you`re never the same"

Mentioning the above because at the time such things were for me the only indications that having a schizophrenic parent maybe wasn`t so strange or exceptional. I`d also heard and read about the difficulties Ian Curtis had with epilepsy.

On 19/12/2021 at 08:51, Johnoco said:

My mother had a breakdown in the early 80’s and was given ECT. I didn’t really understand what was going on tbh but it sounded like a good thing. A bit of a short sharp shock, to use a terrible pun. But I think it did more harm than good in the end and she wasn’t really ‘cured’

When a citizen of a free society can be deprived of their liberty on the grounds that they have a treatable mental illness, it`s unsurprising that excessive credence will be placed in the efficacy of available treatments. The use of a procedure so fraught with risk as ECT proves that point.

Psychiatrists are habitually less than open about the limits of their knowledge or the risk/reward balance inherent in prescribed therapies.

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, unapologetic pedant said:

In the late 70s/early 80s, mental health professionals made scant effort to explain anything to the families of patients. And certainly not to a child. 

I can't debate your posts on here without venturing into political but, just to point out, that it was standard mainstream medical practice to not tell those diagnosed with conditions what those conditions were or what they meant if the implications were serious or terminal. Not just mental health but in all health.

Remember the joke about "doc said to take one of these pills every day for the rest of my life ... he's given me four ..."

The belief was that it was better for the patient to be optimistic and in good spirits. The family might be told but the patient wouldn't be.

It's covered a bit here: https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/breaking-bad-news/

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. (Terry Pratchett)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 22/12/2021 at 07:12, gingerjon said:

I can't debate your posts on here without venturing into political but, just to point out, that it was standard mainstream medical practice to not tell those diagnosed with conditions what those conditions were or what they meant if the implications were serious or terminal. Not just mental health but in all health.

The belief was that it was better for the patient to be optimistic and in good spirits. The family might be told but the patient wouldn't be.

What has reluctance to impart bad news to terminally-ill patients have to do with the families of psychiatric patients being better informed about mental illness?

Or made more aware of the nature and legal status of detention and treatment?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you Johnoco for starting this thread. After over 3 years and all the contributions from many members, it shows how true it is that having someone to talk to is undescribably important, especially to someone who believes that no one will or could understand how low they have become.

Andys Man Club | #ITSOKAYTOTALK |

Mental health services for veterans | Combat Stress

you can also speak to your local family doctor, it's a safe and confidential safe space........ I did.

  • Like 8

Wibble

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My brother and his wife split up a few months ago, it was a marriage in name only but he’s taking it really badly and I’m worried about him, happily he’s agreed to come to ours on Christmas Day, hopefully we’ll just act like the silly so and so’s we always have done 

  • Like 3

"Freedom without socialism is privilege and injustice, socialism without freedom is slavery and brutality" - Mikhail Bakunin

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Mumby Magic said:

For those that are struggling at any time. I'm happy to have a personal or general WhatsApp group where we can talk things thru deal with things with almost instant access. I'm open to it people can pm me tis fine. Don't be scared to say yes. 

Let's hope it contains less porn clips than most of the WhatsApp groups I am involved with. 😆😆😆

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Phil said:

My brother and his wife split up a few months ago, it was a marriage in name only but he’s taking it really badly and I’m worried about him, happily he’s agreed to come to ours on Christmas Day, hopefully we’ll just act like the silly so and so’s we always have done 

I had a similar scenario with my brother. Except he was drinking way too much whilst unhappily married. (I know, me saying someone drinks to much... "pot, meet kettle" )

But once out of it, he's ended up better. So you never know. 👍🏻

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just dropped the lad off at his mum's and now have the day to myself, after I've cleaned up lol.  ###### finished off the Halo Infinite campaign for me!  Think he was pretty stoked with his pressies, just a low key, low stress day of smiles and laughs.

Thank you all who helped and were kind enough to take time to offer some kind words earlier this week, you made a lot of difference.

Best wishes to all for the holidays! 🙏🙂

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, CanaBull said:

Just dropped the lad off at his mum's and now have the day to myself, after I've cleaned up lol.  ###### finished off the Halo Infinite campaign for me!  Think he was pretty stoked with his pressies, just a low key, low stress day of smiles and laughs.

Thank you all who helped and were kind enough to take time to offer some kind words earlier this week, you made a lot of difference.

Best wishes to all for the holidays! 🙏🙂

Good to hear you had a such a good time.

  • Thanks 1

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. (Terry Pratchett)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Just heard about another suicide. Nobody I really knew, more a friend of a friend. But this makes 3 I've heard of since October (1 I knew, 2 as described above)

Sinead O'Connors son apparently killed himself too age 17. 

WTF is going on? Or has it always been like this and mostly unreported? 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Johnoco said:

Just heard about another suicide. Nobody I really knew, more a friend of a friend. But this makes 3 I've heard of since October (1 I knew, 2 as described above)

Sinead O'Connors son apparently killed himself too age 17. 

WTF is going on? Or has it always been like this and mostly unreported? 

The rates are about the same as always so it's always been there. I think we're a lot more honest now though so there's less pretence that things might not have been suicide.

I think that's a good thing generally but it can also make individual cases tough on friends and family.

Sorry to hear your news.

  • Like 1

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. (Terry Pratchett)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, gingerjon said:

The rates are about the same as always so it's always been there. I think we're a lot more honest now though so there's less pretence that things might not have been suicide.

I think that's a good thing generally but it can also make individual cases tough on friends and family.

Sorry to hear your news.

Thanks but I didn't really know very well them if I'm honest. It just seemed to be more and more. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, gingerjon said:

The rates are about the same as always 

are the rates seasonal? do these winter early January dark dull cold days intensify peoples situations or is it the same in summer?

did the bloke who invented the phrase "one hit wonder" invent anything else?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, gingerjon said:

The rates are about the same as always so it's always been there. I think we're a lot more honest now though so there's less pretence that things might not have been suicide.

I think that's a good thing generally but it can also make individual cases tough on friends and family.

Sorry to hear your news.

My Mum had a close friend who commited suicide. Sort of. The offical finding was death by misadventure. The misadventure being tying a complex full noose, tying it to a high post, then he hanged himself.

That was the 80's and the verdict was the right one to bring, his wife seemed to believe it and that such things happened.

Edited by Bob8
  • Sad 1

"You clearly have never met Bob8 then, he's like a veritable Bryan Ferry of RL." - Johnoco 19 Jul 2014

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, graveyard johnny said:

are the rates seasonal? do these winter early January dark dull cold days intensify peoples situations or is it the same in summer?

I actually don't know. When I've time and I remember I'll look into it.

I do know, because it's responded to all the time, that the upcoming 'Blue Monday' has no basis in any meaningful facts at all.

  • Like 1

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. (Terry Pratchett)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.



×
×
  • Create New...