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After having dug to a depth of 10  feet last year, Canadian scientists found  Traces of copper wire dating  back 200 years and came to the conclusion that  Their ancestors already  had a telephone

A horse is in the pub having a few drinks when he spots a donkey in the corner, so he nips over to have a natter The donkey asks "What do you do for a living?" The horse replies " I run on the fl

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After having dug to a depth of 10  feet last year, Canadian scientists found 
Traces of copper wire dating  back 200 years and came to the conclusion that 
Their ancestors already  had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by  their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American 
Archaeologist  dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New  York Times:
"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old  copper wire, have concluded that their 
Ancestors already had an advanced  high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the  Canadians".

One week later, the British authorities  reported  the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Yorkshire, Jack  Arkwright, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely  f*** all.
Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had  already gone wireless."

Just makes you bloody proud to be  British,  don't  it!

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2 minutes ago, Bearman said:

Is there a translater in the house?

Neither my wife can make it out. I hear we didn't have enough splinters and nothing else.

"i didnt have enough strength to do that"

did the bloke who invented the phrase "one hit wonder" invent anything else?

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@MooseAllain

People sometimes tell me I'd make a great French shoe, but I'm not chaussure.

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"Men will be proud to say 'I am a European'. We hope to see a day when men of every country will think as much of being a European as of being from their native land." (Winston Churchill)

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I was called into my boss's office this morning, he said "I've never known a train driver as bad as you, how many trains is it now that you've derailed?"

I replied "I've no idea, it's difficult to keep track".

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                                    "It started out in innocence, the way that most things do,
                                     a thousand people crammed in one place, but the only face was you"

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

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"Men will be proud to say 'I am a European'. We hope to see a day when men of every country will think as much of being a European as of being from their native land." (Winston Churchill)

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"Men will be proud to say 'I am a European'. We hope to see a day when men of every country will think as much of being a European as of being from their native land." (Winston Churchill)

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1 hour ago, Futtocks said:

 

That is good! I do like jokes that make you think. You might not get belly laughs, but they are humorous and thought-provoking.

Rethymno Rugby League Appreciation Society

Founder (and, so far, only) member.

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On 24/12/2020 at 16:16, Moose said:

image.jpeg.3c8a0af72ee6cd6e8ec72dd3897b2bee.jpeg

That poor French Bulldog, wearing a Dutch beer jacket looks so sad just before he is deported for breaching UK immigration laws after Brexit.

Where were you last Thursday?

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4 minutes ago, Bleep1673 said:

That poor French Bulldog, wearing a Dutch beer jacket looks so sad just before he is deported for breaching UK immigration laws after Brexit.

It’s a Pug, the breed originated in China.

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Serious question. I am banned from the Political Sub-Section, but where do I stand in the queue, as an Epileptic 58-year-old, with asthma & Hypertenesion stand in the list for testing the new vaccinations, any of them. 

Answer: about the same level as I am on the Hastings Borough Council's waiting list be be re-housed, as soon as you drop dead we will give you the vaccination, and re-house you.

Where were you last Thursday?

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16 minutes ago, Bleep1673 said:

Serious question. I am banned from the Political Sub-Section, but where do I stand in the queue, as an Epileptic 58-year-old, with asthma & Hypertenesion stand in the list for testing the new vaccinations, any of them. 

Answer: about the same level as I am on the Hastings Borough Council's waiting list be be re-housed, as soon as you drop dead we will give you the vaccination, and re-house you.

What with new vaccines being tested and (hopefully) approved soon, and government policy twisting with whatever wind seems favourable on any given day/hour/minute, any and all predictions you can find will be subject to change.

I checked my own estimated place in the queue on a government site and it said probably some time in June. You'd almost certainly be ahead of me, if your self-description is honest and accurate. But that was a few weeks ago, and I didn't believe it then anyway, let alone now.

"Men will be proud to say 'I am a European'. We hope to see a day when men of every country will think as much of being a European as of being from their native land." (Winston Churchill)

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