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Bearman

Funeral plans

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It seems every advert in the afternoon is for a funeral plan. Judging by the numbers of plans out there someone must be buying them.

Some years ago after looking at the cost of them I looked at other options.

I took a gamble that neither my wife or myself would pop our clogs and I made a direct debit of £50 month for Premium Bonds. Along the way a dribble of £25 bonus' have added to the pot. Not only is the money sitting ready I COULD call on it if it was a rainy day.

Worked for me.

 

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Ron Banks

Bears and Barrow

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5 hours ago, Bearman said:

It seems every advert in the afternoon is for a funeral plan. Judging by the numbers of plans out there someone must be buying them.

Some years ago after looking at the cost of them I looked at other options.

I took a gamble that neither my wife or myself would pop our clogs and I made a direct debit of £50 month for Premium Bonds. Along the way a dribble of £25 bonus' have added to the pot. Not only is the money sitting ready I COULD call on it if it was a rainy day.

Worked for me.

 

My plan is to live forever.

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"I am the avenging angel; I come with wings unfurled, I come with claws extended from halfway round the world. I am the God Almighty, I am the howling wind. I care not for your family; I care not for your kin. I come in search of terror, though terror is my own; I come in search of vengeance for crimes and crimes unknown. I care not for your children, I care not for your wives, I care not for your country, I care not for your lives." - (c) Jim Boyes - "The Avenging Angel"

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15 minutes ago, tim2 said:

My plan is to live forever.

Let me know how it works out😎

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Ron Banks

Bears and Barrow

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Surely funeral expenses are about as close to the dictionary definition of “not my problem” as you can get

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I guess that most of us will be leaving what we can (eg. A house) to our children. If they can't find a few thousand out of that to stick me in the fire, then I guess I didn't do a good enough job of raising them.

Whatever, as Shadow says, it won't be my problem.


Rethymno Rugby League Appreciation Society

Founder (and, so far, only) member.

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7 hours ago, Johnoco said:

It’s June Dad! 

F*CK OFF! 🤬

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         SL Steve Prescott Man of Steel 2016 - Danny Houghton  SL Top Gun 2016/2017 - Marc Sneyd (83%/89% goal success)

         SL Hit Man 2016/2017 - Danny Houghton (1,289/1,123 tackles)  SL Club of the Year 2016 - Hull FC

         SL Coach of the Year 2016 - Lee Radford   RL Challenge Cup Winners 2016/2017 - Hull FC

 

                                                                      All in all, not a bad couple of years, I suppose...

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46 minutes ago, Northern Eel said:

Can’t help think that June is after a bit of money when he has gone, or a bit of something else when he’s still here...

June only popped round to pass on some mail. But she noticed the size of his veg and was well impressed. 

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Not even read the thread. I'll be dead. I want Gangnam style, moving on up and spirit in the sky played along with ten of my own worst jokes. My sons will be covered financially for it. I went to my 2nd cousins funeral recently (one of eight family and frineds whose passed the year and second oldest at only 71) and her wake went on till 11pm.Disco and Elvis/karaoke tribute. Surreal but bless her.


Like poor jokes? Thejoketeller@mullymessiah

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Be wary if you take up an offer from a smaller independent. My late father (along with many others) was ripped off to the tune of £4500 by a loathsome crook who subsequently went to jail.

I was in the process of leaning on the guy by turning up on his doorstep at regular intervals, when I was told to back off by the police and trading standards.

He was raided the following week, it was found he'd been pocketing charity "in memoriam" donations and stockpiling remains in his garage in addition to the "funeral plan" scam.

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I don't intend to be there when they present my brother with the bill. He can pay for this one. When our Mum died, I paid for the funeral, and he put in a DHSS claim for funeral costs, & pocketed the cheque.

Edited by Bleep1673
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RESURGAM

Non solum autem Leones

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My will stipulates no religious service is to be held and my body is to be left to science.

I got a letter from Leeds University Medical School acknowledging my bequest.

However, the letter also stated that there is no guarantee that it would be accepted.

Bloody cheek!

😀

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Under Scrutiny by the Right-On Thought Police

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On 18/11/2019 at 19:47, Bearman said:

Let me know how it works out😎

So far, so good.


"I am the avenging angel; I come with wings unfurled, I come with claws extended from halfway round the world. I am the God Almighty, I am the howling wind. I care not for your family; I care not for your kin. I come in search of terror, though terror is my own; I come in search of vengeance for crimes and crimes unknown. I care not for your children, I care not for your wives, I care not for your country, I care not for your lives." - (c) Jim Boyes - "The Avenging Angel"

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At Uni I roomed with a couple of medical students, who successfully deterred me from ever considering leaving my body to science. Anyway, I'm pretty sure my body is far too knackered to be of interest.


And when they found our shadows

Grouped around the TV sets

They ran down every lead

They repeated every test

They checked out all the data on their lists

And then the alien anthropologists

Admitted they were still perplexed

But on eliminating every other reason

For our sad demise

They logged the only explanation left

This species has amused itself to death

No tears to cry no feelings left

This species has amused itself to death

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Used to have an advert on local radio for a funeral directors' that said you could have your funeral any way you wanted. Did think of ringing them and asking for a quote for the full Viking ! Body on longboat floated out into North Sea then set alight by a flaming arrow ! Often wondered what their response would have been ?

On a different note, when MIL died I had to arrange her funeral and still not sure what undertaker meant by 'we have a date for the burial but there's a bit of a wait, however we have put in for a cancellation' ?

Edited by BJW
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My wife complains I selfishly stop her fulfilling her true ambition -

she really wants to be a rich widow

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23 hours ago, BJW said:

 

On a different note, when MIL died I had to arrange her funeral and still not sure what undertaker meant by 'we have a date for the burial but there's a bit of a wait, however we have put in for a cancellation' ?

Leeds fans; halfway through last season.

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Under Scrutiny by the Right-On Thought Police

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