Bearman Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 It seems every advert in the afternoon is for a funeral plan. Judging by the numbers of plans out there someone must be buying them. Some years ago after looking at the cost of them I looked at other options. I took a gamble that neither my wife or myself would pop our clogs and I made a direct debit of £50 month for Premium Bonds. Along the way a dribble of £25 bonus' have added to the pot. Not only is the money sitting ready I COULD call on it if it was a rainy day. Worked for me. Ron Banks Midlands Hurricanes and Barrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tim2 Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 5 hours ago, Bearman said: It seems every advert in the afternoon is for a funeral plan. Judging by the numbers of plans out there someone must be buying them. Some years ago after looking at the cost of them I looked at other options. I took a gamble that neither my wife or myself would pop our clogs and I made a direct debit of £50 month for Premium Bonds. Along the way a dribble of £25 bonus' have added to the pot. Not only is the money sitting ready I COULD call on it if it was a rainy day. Worked for me. My plan is to live forever. "I am the avenging angel; I come with wings unfurled, I come with claws extended from halfway round the world. I am the God Almighty, I am the howling wind. I care not for your family; I care not for your kin. I come in search of terror, though terror is my own; I come in search of vengeance for crimes and crimes unknown. I care not for your children, I care not for your wives, I care not for your country, I care not for your lives." - (c) Jim Boyes - "The Avenging Angel" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearman Posted November 18, 2019 Author Share Posted November 18, 2019 15 minutes ago, tim2 said: My plan is to live forever. Let me know how it works out Ron Banks Midlands Hurricanes and Barrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiltshire Rhino Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 19 minutes ago, tim2 said: My plan is to live forever. You are Connor MacLeod and I claim my £5. 2014 Challenged Cup Winner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 Surely funeral expenses are about as close to the dictionary definition of “not my problem” as you can get Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyXIII Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 I guess that most of us will be leaving what we can (eg. A house) to our children. If they can't find a few thousand out of that to stick me in the fire, then I guess I didn't do a good enough job of raising them. Whatever, as Shadow says, it won't be my problem. Rethymno Rugby League Appreciation Society Founder (and, so far, only) member. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Ting Posted November 18, 2019 Share Posted November 18, 2019 Just in case you forget. JFK!! Learn to listen without distortion and learn to look without imagination. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirlin Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 I am going with this one.... https://www.simplicity.co.uk/arrange-a-funeral/unattended-funeral Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Eel Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 3 hours ago, Stirlin said: I am going with this one.... https://www.simplicity.co.uk/arrange-a-funeral/unattended-funeral There’s something amusing about the 14 day cooling off period... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Frightful Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 7 hours ago, Johnoco said: It’s June Dad! F*CK OFF! With Halloween coming up I decided to go to my local fancy dress shop to see if I could get a Dracula costume. After a few minutes the assistant handed me a Hull KR shirt asking "Is this suitable?", I replied "I think you may have misheard me, I said I wanted to look like a count." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern Eel Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 8 hours ago, Johnoco said: It’s June Dad! Can’t help think that June is after a bit of money when he has gone, or a bit of something else when he’s still here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnM Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Hallucinating Goose Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 I've told my family they are welcome to just lob my body in the Humber. To be fair, once I'm dead I don't reckon I'll care too much about what they do with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mumby Magic Posted November 19, 2019 Share Posted November 19, 2019 Not even read the thread. I'll be dead. I want Gangnam style, moving on up and spirit in the sky played along with ten of my own worst jokes. My sons will be covered financially for it. I went to my 2nd cousins funeral recently (one of eight family and frineds whose passed the year and second oldest at only 71) and her wake went on till 11pm.Disco and Elvis/karaoke tribute. Surreal but bless her. Like poor jokes? Thejoketeller@mullymessiah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BryanC Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 Be wary if you take up an offer from a smaller independent. My late father (along with many others) was ripped off to the tune of £4500 by a loathsome crook who subsequently went to jail. I was in the process of leaning on the guy by turning up on his doorstep at regular intervals, when I was told to back off by the police and trading standards. He was raided the following week, it was found he'd been pocketing charity "in memoriam" donations and stockpiling remains in his garage in addition to the "funeral plan" scam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BryanC Posted November 20, 2019 Share Posted November 20, 2019 https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/undertaker-michael-obrien-dukinfield-tameside-6807672 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleep1673 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 I don't intend to be there when they present my brother with the bill. He can pay for this one. When our Mum died, I paid for the funeral, and he put in a DHSS claim for funeral costs, & pocketed the cheque. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnM Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/12090335/British-people-donating-bodies-to-science-to-avoid-funeral-costs.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolford6 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 My will stipulates no religious service is to be held and my body is to be left to science. I got a letter from Leeds University Medical School acknowledging my bequest. However, the letter also stated that there is no guarantee that it would be accepted. Bloody cheek! Under Scrutiny by the Right-On Thought Police Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tim2 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 On 18/11/2019 at 19:47, Bearman said: Let me know how it works out So far, so good. "I am the avenging angel; I come with wings unfurled, I come with claws extended from halfway round the world. I am the God Almighty, I am the howling wind. I care not for your family; I care not for your kin. I come in search of terror, though terror is my own; I come in search of vengeance for crimes and crimes unknown. I care not for your children, I care not for your wives, I care not for your country, I care not for your lives." - (c) Jim Boyes - "The Avenging Angel" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan Doffarf Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 At Uni I roomed with a couple of medical students, who successfully deterred me from ever considering leaving my body to science. Anyway, I'm pretty sure my body is far too knackered to be of interest. And when they found our shadows Grouped around the TV sets They ran down every lead They repeated every test They checked out all the data on their lists And then the alien anthropologists Admitted they were still perplexed But on eliminating every other reason For our sad demise They logged the only explanation left This species has amused itself to death No tears to cry no feelings left This species has amused itself to death Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BJW Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Used to have an advert on local radio for a funeral directors' that said you could have your funeral any way you wanted. Did think of ringing them and asking for a quote for the full Viking ! Body on longboat floated out into North Sea then set alight by a flaming arrow ! Often wondered what their response would have been ? On a different note, when MIL died I had to arrange her funeral and still not sure what undertaker meant by 'we have a date for the burial but there's a bit of a wait, however we have put in for a cancellation' ? My wife complains I selfishly stop her fulfilling her true ambition - she really wants to be a rich widow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolford6 Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 23 hours ago, BJW said: On a different note, when MIL died I had to arrange her funeral and still not sure what undertaker meant by 'we have a date for the burial but there's a bit of a wait, however we have put in for a cancellation' ? Leeds fans; halfway through last season. Under Scrutiny by the Right-On Thought Police Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolford6 Posted November 24, 2019 Share Posted November 24, 2019 I play in a quiz league and one of our prominent members died a couple of years ago. Burial was booked for (I think) 1pm. I couldn't get to the service but I dashed to the cemetery from work and only the cemetery officer was present. It was absolutely chucking it down so we sheltered under a tree and waited ... and waited. After half an hour the cemetery officer said she'd have to check with HQ but would otherwise have to order the JCB driver to fill the hole in. She came back and said the funeral had been cancelled. Just then, a couple of cars turned up; I stopped a big bloke driving the front one and said something like "Don't bother getting out and getting soaked, the burial has been cancelled". He said "It had better not be. I'm the priest and I've just conducted the service!". The cemetery officer delayed the reinstatement of the hole. It turned out that the family/undertaker had cancelled the original burial time because it was realised that the funeral service would be extremely well attended. It had been re-booked for a short while later but only the cancellation had been relayed over the phone to the cemetery officer. Our former quiz player was Scottish and a kilted piper played the lament. The burial took place in a torrrential downpour and we all got absolutely soaked. The piper played from beneath the canopy of the tree. Bradford at its finest. Under Scrutiny by the Right-On Thought Police Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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