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Coming out of the closet/broom cupboard

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OK i admit I'm a bit passe with this, but why did he come out in public and say he was gay and whats all these crying and hugging about.

Why does he seem to think he's special is beyond me and i feel totally embarrassed for his family. Despite the brave front they are putting on,  inside they must be fuming with this attention seeker. 

Edited by The Future is League
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18 minutes ago, The Future is League said:

OK i admit I'm a bit passe with this, but why did he come out in public and say he was gay and whats all these crying and hugging about.

Why does he seem to think he's special is beyond me and i feel totally embarrassed for his family. Despite the brave front they are putting on inside they must be fuming with this attention seeker. 

That doesn’t add up. He isn’t exactly a has been short of work is he? It’s not like he’s short of attention.

How his family deal with it is their business and I’m sure there’s a bit more going on behind the scenes than they care to make public but that’s for them to deal with. 
 

Either way, I’d hardly call it attention seeking.

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2 hours ago, John Drake said:

Have you ever considered that the reason some people don't publicise it is because they are still, even now, frightened of the consequences of doing so? 

And if matters have 'improved' over the past twenty years, that is only because others in the public eye had the courage to 'make a big deal' about it and face whatever consequences came their way, in order to confront the very real prejudices that existed (and still exist) towards gay people in this country and beyond.

 

Yes I have ... and have you ever considered the fact that some also don't want such publicity because they feel it actually causes them to be viewed as "different" when they are quite happy to just get on with their life as it is ?

As for prejudice, then yes there are still some people who might have such views but these days the vast majority couldn't care less, yet the amount of publicity given to such situations would appear to indicate that the opposite is true. Even one person's anti-homosexual comment is publicised as though it is a countrywide view.

Edited by RL does what Sky says
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4 hours ago, gingerjon said:

Indeed. From the most up to date version of the British Social Attitudes survey I quoted above:

image.png.76411ed971f3d25926c1f0ea98e3cd91.png

That's still 35%(ish) saying that same sex relationships are always, usually, or sometimes wrong though. A third of the population. 20 million people.

They'll all be Muslims. 

Maths isn't a strong point of the Woke brigade. 

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2 hours ago, John Drake said:

Have you ever considered that the reason some people don't publicise it is because they are still, even now, frightened of the consequences of doing so? 

And if matters have 'improved' over the past twenty years, that is only because others in the public eye had the courage to 'make a big deal' about it and face whatever consequences came their way, in order to confront the very real prejudices that existed (and still exist) towards gay people in this country and beyond.

It is notable that soccer players do nto come out, and while the newspapers put it the perspective of acceptance by team mates, it is probably the attention of fans that would be the issue.

I would imagine there are people on this forum who would really rather wish that people would shut up about gayness as it makes them uncomfortable. That is perfectly normal.


"You clearly have never met Bob8 then, he's like a veritable Bryan Ferry of RL." - Johnoco 19 Jul 2014

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There's some predictable nonsense on this thread. 

Imagine being Philip Schofield this time last week. You're a high-profile figure (probably one of the countries best loved public figures), you've been married for 27 years and have children from this marriage. However, you're gay and presumably want to act on it. How exactly do you manage this situation?

Is it really plausible to think that he could have done this without it being a big deal? Is there a situation where he splits up with his wife of 27 years, starts seeing a man and nobody bats an eyelid? 

Of course not. He was far better owning the news himself, than being 'outed' and it be treated as some secret life behind his wife's back. 

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14 minutes ago, Maximus Decimus said:

There's some predictable nonsense on this thread. 

Imagine being Philip Schofield this time last week. You're a high-profile figure (probably one of the countries best loved public figures), you've been married for 27 years and have children from this marriage. However, you're gay and presumably want to act on it. How exactly do you manage this situation?

Is it really plausible to think that he could have done this without it being a big deal? Is there a situation where he splits up with his wife of 27 years, starts seeing a man and nobody bats an eyelid? 

Of course not. He was far better owning the news himself, than being 'outed' and it be treated as some secret life behind his wife's back. 

Exactly. Regardless of your personal views on the matter, there’s no way this isn’t going to be a big deal. I can’t understand the argument that it could somehow have been stuck in at the end of the news in an ....‘and finally’ style.

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6 hours ago, Johnoco said:

Mother asked ‘what’s all this about you courting girls’? Father said nothing and remained focussed on his newspaper. I left the house and got the tram to Headingley. It rained. 

Later I ate pikelets and macaroons with Thora Hird in Kirkgate Market. I passed the horse meat shop on the way home.

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6 hours ago, gingerjon said:

I do recall a gay friend of mine being livid that Bennett wasn't open about what his sexuality was. He quoted a response to a question about it he'd given once: "You might as well ask a man dying of thirst in the desert if he prefers still or sparkling."

Thinking about it, said bloke had been married to a woman of the opposite sex for a couple of decades and had kids before coming out. 

if he had been married to a woman of the same sex it could have been confusing. ?

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43 minutes ago, longboard said:

Later I ate pikelets and macaroons with Thora Hird in Kirkgate Market. I passed the horse meat shop on the way home.

I hope you treated Thora with respect and kept your comments to each other private ... I wouldn't want you to be "over Hird" !!!

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45 minutes ago, longboard said:

if he had been married to a woman of the same sex it could have been confusing. ?

Or would it have made so much news if he had just gone with another woman ?   That's only the same as him having deceived his wife as on this occasion.

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8 hours ago, GUBRATS said:

It could be worse , he could have announced he was a Rhino's fan ?

Calling someone a Rhinos fan?

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On 08/02/2020 at 02:00, RL does what Sky says said:

But why does it always need to be a news item ?

It is no longer a big deal these days yet it still keeps being publicised.

 

It gets in ahead of the absolutely toxic media companies in the UK.

Doing it this way he controls his own destiny and limits the damage to his friends and family.

Edited by Copa

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6 hours ago, Copa said:

 

It gets in ahead of the absolutely toxic media companies in the UK.

Doing it this way he controls his own destiny and limits the damage to his friends and family.

I don’t know about that. I mean I don’t deny the media can and often are a set of ##### but I had a look at various newspaper editorials and reports about this story yesterday. I saw quite a few, including Star, Express etc which you traditionally might have expected to stuck the boot in perhaps. But not a bit of it, they were all glowing about him and his decision.

The best headline though has to be from the Daily Star - Gopher It Phil. ?

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2 minutes ago, Johnoco said:

I don’t know about that. I mean I don’t deny the media can and often are a set of ##### but I had a look at various newspaper editorials and reports about this story yesterday. I saw quite a few, including Star, Express etc which you traditionally might have expected to stuck the boot in perhaps. But not a bit of it, they were all glowing about him and his decision.

The best headline though has to be from the Daily Star - Gopher It Phil. ?

Glowing.... because he got in early and controlled the narrative.

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14 minutes ago, Copa said:

Glowing.... because he got in early and controlled the narrative.

They could still have slagged him off though. Very easily 

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7 hours ago, Copa said:

It gets in ahead of the absolutely toxic media companies in the UK.

Doing it this way he controls his own destiny and limits the damage to his friends and family.

I understand that but how many times do we have to keep having the same news broadcast over and over again ... and who of the general public are really bothered. Those who are bothered are in a very small minority so why do the rest of us have to keep being lectured to ?

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41 minutes ago, RL does what Sky says said:

I understand that but how many times do we have to keep having the same news broadcast over and over again ... and who of the general public are really bothered. Those who are bothered are in a very small minority so why do the rest of us have to keep being lectured to ?

And there's what it's really about. Nothing to do with equal rights for gay people, but because it's seen as a woke issue. 

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54 minutes ago, Johnoco said:

They could still have slagged him off though. Very easily 

If they'd got hold of this story (especially if he was having a relationship with a man), it would have been treated as a scandal because he has a wife and kids. By doing it himself he's been able to handle that tricky side of it. Many of us can understand why a gay man in the late 80s/90s might have decided to suppress it and hope he could pretend it would go away. The papers yesterday had no choice but to be positive about it because that was the public reaction.

One of my closest friends is a man whose dad came out when he was 9 in the early 1990s. It's a very sad story and he didn't see him again until last year. His mum was heartbroken and in anger completely shut him out and both her boys wanted nothing to do with him. She's never had a relationship again. They were wealthy at the time and literally their whole lives collapsed. I remember the first time he mentioned it and we naturally felt for his father (who had tried to contact a number of times) but he wasn't then in a place to hear it. Since having his own child, he has now reestablished some contact. 

It just shows how far we've come but how big a deal this was not that long ago. 

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1 hour ago, RL does what Sky says said:

I understand that but how many times do we have to keep having the same news broadcast over and over again ... and who of the general public are really bothered. Those who are bothered are in a very small minority so why do the rest of us have to keep being lectured to ?

A third of the adult population isn’t a very small minority, though. And that’s just those who are comfortable expressing their “discomfort” publicly; there will be a good number again who are shyly bigoted.

People are still today disowned by their families for coming out. The notion that the problems concerning homophobic attitudes in society are now done and dusted is nonsense.

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3 minutes ago, Bolton Leyther said:

A third of the adult population isn’t a very small minority, though. And that’s just those who are comfortable expressing their “discomfort” publicly; there will be a good number again who are shyly bigoted.

People are still today disowned by their families for coming out. The notion that the problems concerning homophobic attitudes in society are now done and dusted is nonsense.

I work with a number of the openly out lbgt community.... to a person, they would agree with this. 

Im just not sure that "celebrating" another celeb coming out is the right way to rid those divides.

Just cos i don't care, doesn't mean others don't. Clearly there is significant interests in a story i thought should be much more low key for reasons stated.

 

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