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First up against the wall come the revolution


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(no politicians or other folk who'd get this thread moved to the Politics sub-forum).

Those who spit chewing gum onto pavements. This morning, I went to stick on my work shoes and wondered why the sole felt like a stone was stuck. Chewing gum that I'd obviously stood in the last time I wore them. It had set and stuck right into the grips of the shoe.

Closely followed by:

People who take more than one slot with their car so that they can "protect" it with extra space on either side. Especially in car parks that are always busy with few or no slots. If your car is so precious to you, take a bus!

"When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your arms and shout"

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Anyone that drives a car that has the music so loud that the whole car  "Throbs".

Cold callers selling PPI or accident claims

Anyone that starts a thread like this as it makes my blood pressure go through the roof?

Ron Banks

Midlands Hurricanes and Barrow

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8 minutes ago, SSoutherner said:

Jag drivers -previously this was Volvo drivers but now the majority of half blind ignorant drivers believing they own the road and have a permanent right of way no matter what the road markings/signs seem to have graduated to Jag XF's

Ah, no Tesla drivers have that honour now over Volvo drivers, even more than Jag drivers. 70mph bit of 3-carriageway A13 near Dagenham yesterday, Tesla driver in the fast lane doing 55mph and looking smug in his brand new Tesla. He and his type most definitely deserve to be up against that wall.

Both other lanes were doing around 60-70mph, just the fast lane stuck at 55mph because this thwaite refused to move.

"When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your arms and shout"

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We also have an issue with people parking in the local clinic’s car park then going into town which is nearby ... so that when you go for an appt there’s no spaces . Theyre putting flyers on cars now but really , some people just don’t give a damn 

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30 minutes ago, Johnoco said:

Then pedestrians who press the button at a crossing when no  traffic is coming, walk across anyway and cause a big tailback waiting for the invisible man to cross. 

This either gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing or causes that vein on my forehead to throb depending on whether I'm walking or driving.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. (Terry Pratchett)

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16 minutes ago, gingerjon said:

This either gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing or causes that vein on my forehead to throb depending on whether I'm walking or driving.

Used to be a crossing near where i used to live that i am sure had a 23hr59min delay as every morning on way to work i would be walking towards it seeing no pedestrians but it on red with a queue of cars, it would change just before i got there, I would press the button, wait for ages then just cross through a gap still without it changing. Next day same thing would happen

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5 minutes ago, Jeff Stein said:

People who think they are allowed to park on double yellow lines so long as they put their hazard lights on.

I'm looking at you Norwich Road, Ipswich.

 

Or near us where people park in the cross hatching in the centre of the road (especially the Domino's drivers collecting form the shop) as they know the civilian parking attendants can't do them for parking on the Red lines (cross hatching would need a warranted officer doing them for obstruction)

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8 minutes ago, Jeff Stein said:

People who think they are allowed to park on double yellow lines so long as they put their hazard lights on.

I'm looking at you Norwich Road, Ipswich.

 

Norwich Road... ahhh that lovely road full of a mix of urban and rural drivers. The urban drivers are twunts of the highest order who would panic if they ever accidentally hit their indicator. The rural drivers either won't overtake a stopped bus if there's another car moving in the county, or drive as if there's no-one else driving in the county, while in their 1960 Series II Landrover or Nissan whatever with a hairdryer for an engine.

Thankfully, I only have to go there about once every month or two when dropping the wife off at her mates.

But, yes, people who think hazard lights mean they get an exemption from parking and stopping restrictions deserve to go in the queue for up against the wall.

"When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your arms and shout"

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1 minute ago, ckn said:

Norwich Road... ahhh that lovely road full of a mix of urban and rural drivers. The urban drivers are twunts of the highest order who would panic if they ever accidentally hit their indicator. The rural drivers either won't overtake a stopped bus if there's another car moving in the county, or drive as if there's no-one else driving in the county, while in their 1960 Series II Landrover or Nissan whatever with a hairdryer for an engine.

Thankfully, I only have to go there about once every month or two when dropping the wife off at her mates.

But, yes, people who think hazard lights mean they get an exemption from parking and stopping restrictions deserve to go in the queue for up against the wall.

I do it twice a day during the working week. Not sure if I am an urban or rural driver though

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3 minutes ago, Jeff Stein said:

I do it twice a day during the working week. Not sure if I am an urban or rural driver though

Here's one that'll get you as an Ipswich driver. The people who replaced the perfectly functional roundabout here with 4-way poorly controlled traffic lights. Now, they deserve that privilege...

"When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your arms and shout"

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Scam callers , the dregs of society preying on fear worry and the vulnerable . And they never give up . We had one yesterday and I was so fed up with them I said nothing when I picked the phone up and this voice said ‘ don’t bother we’ll still ring you back ‘

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14 minutes ago, DavidM said:

Scam callers , the dregs of society preying on fear worry and the vulnerable . And they never give up . We had one yesterday and I was so fed up with them I said nothing when I picked the phone up and this voice said ‘ don’t bother we’ll still ring you back ‘

They're right, you can't stop them easily but you can have some fun with them.

I've used all of these scenarios:

- "Ah, you're BT as well? Which building are you in? Can you pop over and fix the network, it's been excrement for years now!"
- "You've called back! Great! Have you worked out how to get the internet on my ZX Spectrum yet? Until you do that, I'm not going to discuss anything else"
- "Will you be my friend?"
- "BT?! BT?! I had my innoculation at school, why would you be harassing me about that now?"
- "I'm so glad you called about my accident, will you pay for cleaning my mattress?"
- "Yes, yes it was an accident. He deserved it. And you'll never find him! Even if you do, it was an accident. How did you know? Was it Alexa spying on me again?!"

I've also put on my broadest Scottish, Brummie, Scouse and Cockney accents whenever I hear a foreign accent on the line. Oh that's fun... Machine-gun Glaswegian always gets them confused.

"When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your arms and shout"

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7 minutes ago, ckn said:

They're right, you can't stop them easily but you can have some fun with them.

I've used all of these scenarios:

- "Ah, you're BT as well? Which building are you in? Can you pop over and fix the network, it's been excrement for years now!"
- "You've called back! Great! Have you worked out how to get the internet on my ZX Spectrum yet? Until you do that, I'm not going to discuss anything else"
- "Will you be my friend?"
- "BT?! BT?! I had my innoculation at school, why would you be harassing me about that now?"
- "I'm so glad you called about my accident, will you pay for cleaning my mattress?"
- "Yes, yes it was an accident. He deserved it. And you'll never find him! Even if you do, it was an accident. How did you know? Was it Alexa spying on me again?!"

I've also put on my broadest Scottish, Brummie, Scouse and Cockney accents whenever I hear a foreign accent on the line. Oh that's fun... Machine-gun Glaswegian always gets them confused.

Yes I've had an accident that wasn't my fault.

Version (1) 

I was leaving the pub, I'd only had four pints (normally they hang up atthi spoint)

Version (2)

It wasn't my fault, I'd probably blame the police car.

The  police car that was chasing my car, I say my car, the one I'd just stolen.

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1 minute ago, Johnoco said:

I get that but it also causes delays and queues of stationary traffic pumping out fumes. 

Yup.

But there are some lights round here that take up to three minutes to change before letting pedestrians cross. If I get a window before then, I'm off.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. (Terry Pratchett)

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2 hours ago, Johnoco said:

 

Then pedestrians who press the button at a crossing when no  traffic is coming, walk across anyway and cause a big tailback waiting for the invisible man to cross. 

I'll spin that around. The length of time I often have to wait for traffic to stop at the crossings near work winds me up as a pedestrian, due to the number of cars that ignore red lights. 

Please view my photos.

 

http://www.hughesphoto.co.uk/

 

Little Nook Farm - Caravan Club Certificated Location in the heart of the Pennines overlooking Hebden Bridge and the Calder Valley.

http://www.facebook.com/LittleNookFarm

 

Little Nook Cottage - 2-bed self-catering cottage in the heart of the Pennines overlooking Hebden Bridge and the Calder Valley.

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1 hour ago, DavidM said:

Said this before because it’s an issue where we live ... people who park right on a bend , and it’s a sharp bend . Surely if you had any kind of functioning brain cell you’d think twice , but no

There's an increasing trend around here to park somewhere inappropriate, then chuck a traffic cone in to the road by your car to highlight the fact. I'm often tempted to stop and collect the cones. 

Please view my photos.

 

http://www.hughesphoto.co.uk/

 

Little Nook Farm - Caravan Club Certificated Location in the heart of the Pennines overlooking Hebden Bridge and the Calder Valley.

http://www.facebook.com/LittleNookFarm

 

Little Nook Cottage - 2-bed self-catering cottage in the heart of the Pennines overlooking Hebden Bridge and the Calder Valley.

Book now via airbnb

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1 minute ago, Johnoco said:

That’s fair comment, lots of ignorant knobs driving around. Trust me, I drive in Bradford.

And on that, the 4x4 driver who drove through a zebra crossing yesterday WHILE THERE WERE PEOPLE ON IT deserves to have their license confiscated and inserted the long way somewhere painful.

"When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your arms and shout"

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