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My husband refereed a Super League game tonight and was abused


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6 hours ago, Copa said:

Wtf is it with people thinking refs are biased etc? Just leave the sport and go watch soccer.

As for those who yell accusations of child abuse, homophobia and racism, go and seek assistance for your mental health.

I think you missed the part where she said rugby league. 

Using football as a deflection tactic is weak.

Get your own house in order. Abuse ain’t acceptable in any sport.

A known bigot in Israel Folau being allowed to play shouldn’t be acceptable either, but obviously it is.

 

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8 minutes ago, DC77 said:

I think you missed the part where she said rugby league. 

Using football as a deflection tactic is weak.

Get your own house in order. Abuse ain’t acceptable in any sport.

A known bigot in Israel Folau being allowed to play shouldn’t be acceptable either, but obviously it is.

 

I didn’t miss the bit where she said rugby league. If people aren’t capable of acting like civilised people they should leave the sport and go away and watch something else, anything else really.

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I’m appalled at some of the abuse I hear. I literally have no idea why people volunteer to referee. Surely there could be a concerted effort - like with racism - to stamp this out? 

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4 hours ago, frank said:

Unfortunately  foul language seems to be  the norm today and you can actually hear families using it.

There is no excuse for abusing anyone,  let alone referees, doing there best to entertain people.

In regard to League, I would think it's no worse than other sports

Not according to the ‘holier than thou’ person I just replied to.

Rugby league is squeaky clean, it must be, otherwise why bring up another sport? This must be some strange anomaly and such abuse is not common.... okay. To respond in such a way to the woman whose husband was abused during a rugby league game from minute one to 80 was utterly bizarre. 

 

 

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14 minutes ago, Wollo Wollo Wayoo said:

You really have hit the nail on the head.  The 1st half performance by Child put enough daylight between the teams to allow the "evening up" as happens many times. 

I'm sure many Wakefield fans try to get across the point that it's not referees as a group it's James Child! 

I don't want to derail the importance of this thread but how on earth can you say the first half penalties put enough daylight between the teams? 

Surely you realise that the game was decided by golden point, as in the teams were level after 80 minutes?

Sky Sports Jenna Brooks to Jake Connor regarding England selection : "Shaun Wane has said that he's spoken to you about why you were left out, he's also said he's told you what you needed to do more of, I'm interested, what do you need to do more of and did you do it tonight?"

Jake Connor : "I don't know, to be honest I haven't spoken to him."

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I was at Wakefield last night (as a neutral but wanting Wakefield to win) and didn't think the ref had that poor of a game at all - except for when they gave Wakefield a conversion that clearly missed! There's also an element of truth that if you're going forward you're more likely to get penalties in your favour, which naturally compounds the misery for the team playing less well at that moment.

Its not the refs fault Wakefield couldn't finish half the opportunities they got or that in the second half Hull's kicking game was rubbish. Perhaps its a bitterness thats ingrained by not winning anything for 50 years? 

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You won't stop it, last night at Warrington all the fans round me think R hicks is leaning against Warrington since Mcmanus comments over the cup final and if you listen to cas fans he gave us everything, its not nice but its human nature to blame everyone else for their own teams shortcoming. 

If some of the comments are heard what the OP stated clubs should be held responsible. 

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My perspective changed massively about 3 years ago when I got involved with grass roots rugby and I am ashamed to admit that at times in games before that I thought the ref was going out of his way to "cheat" my team and would shout as much from the terraces. I never got in to all the more personal abuse, I suppose calling someone a cheat is bad enough, but I honestly believed that refs could be biased against teams.
As I mentioned that changed as in my role as a coach I obviously could not be seen to be shouting abuse at referees but would see many parents and coaches losing their cool over decisions in games involving players U16 and to be honest I were embarrassed for them. Watching young men and young women try to ref amatuer games and having split seconds to make decisions, my respect for referees is now as high as it ever has been. Im lucky that my team has a really good bunch of parents and Ive not heard much if anything in the way of referee abuse from them. That starts with the team and they are told from the outset how to treat the person in the middle, thats yes sir, no sir but at the same time been told they are only human, they will make mistakes as we all will but you can also have a laugh and a joke with them, I mean its a lot harder to abuse someone when you get to know them. I don't always agree with every decision made and if something goes against my team I will be frustrated or even annoyed but I will not show it as me showing it sets a very bad example.

It takes a hell of a lot of bottle to be a referee and I thank every one of them that gives up their time just so we can have a game especially considering the abuse they get for doing a job they love.

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7 minutes ago, DC77 said:

Not according to the ‘holier than thou’ person I just replied to.

Rugby league is squeaky clean, it must be, otherwise why bring up another sport? This must be some strange anomaly and such abuse is not common.... okay. To respond in such a way to the woman whose husband was abused during a rugby league game from minute one to 80 was utterly bizarre. 

Just a small point, you can't assume that costa is a woman just because they say their husband was refereeing.

Sky Sports Jenna Brooks to Jake Connor regarding England selection : "Shaun Wane has said that he's spoken to you about why you were left out, he's also said he's told you what you needed to do more of, I'm interested, what do you need to do more of and did you do it tonight?"

Jake Connor : "I don't know, to be honest I haven't spoken to him."

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I know this phrase gets thrown around a lot but it does cos it would work. Anyone who gets caught abusing officials, lifetime ban. If fans thought they would get banned from watching their team I bet they would shut up straight away, if not then surely they aren't proper fans of their club. 

I've had people sit round me before giving it all that and how the stewards haven't heard is beyond me. It makes me wonder if the stewards do hear it all and are a bit afraid to get involved for fear of being attacked themselves which I can understand. 

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1 hour ago, Dave T said:

I made the conscious decision not to focus on the ref about 25 years ago, and whenever I'm at the match I always think I enjoy it more than some of those obsessed with barracking the ref. 

If you just get your head round the fact mistakes happen, and they know better than us fans, it really does make the game more enjoyable. 

It’s the right attitude to take. 

The referee is usually the first port of call when it comes to blame as it’s the most convenient. This applies to fans, players, and coaches. Much more difficult looking at our own teams shortcomings (could also apply this to the person I responded to).

When you accept the referee is honest, and is applying the rules to the best of their ability, you should then focus on the game as you do.

 

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8 hours ago, north yorks trinity said:

Really sorry to hear that. Personal abuse is totally indefensible.  Don't know which game you were at but James Child had an absolute stinker in the first half at Wakefield tonight and does seem to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder about Wakey.  I'm quite happy to admit that I was making it clear what I thought about his refereeing and I think that's part and parcel of the game but if it got into the realms of what you allege then it absolutely needs rooting out.  A bit of video footage shouldn't be hard to obtain these days and then the idiots can be dealt with.  ATEOD I'm still really disappointed in both the result and some of the officiating but it's a game and there are things in life which are much more important, or if you think there aren't you should be taking a good look at yourself.

Saying it nicely with big words does not make your comments about Child somehow more informed or acceptable.

“If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.” Zen Proverb

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43 minutes ago, Wakefield Ram said:

If you watch a game not involving your team, it's remarkable how little you notice the referee. I ref RU at a very junior level and yes you blow your whistle sometimes, give the decision and then think yep got that wrong. But you have probably a second to make the call. And you're taking the context of the game into consideration. Is the game flowing enough? Did I let a similar minor infringement go earlier? Was the opposition infringing at the same time? And you're doing this on the run, sometimes with a view obscured by players (yes they get in the way sometimes) and doing this for 80 minutes. And being closer to the action than spectators, you see things that they don't from 50/60/70  metres away, but they know what they saw and they're right. Try reffing it's 10 times harder than you'd imagine and 100 times harder than shouting from the stands.

It's not helped by idiotic commentary on Sky. As an example, last night Blake Austin threw a pass 3-4 metres forward which the ref rightly blew. To howls from the crowd and think it was Terry O Connor who said he didn't think it was forward. Just look at the pitch markings where the passer and catcher are. 

Refs make mistakes, but genuinely don't care who wins. Losing coaches often blame the ref but when they win rarely say it was down to the ref.

Just watch the ball out of Austin’s hands. It was clearly forward 

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18 minutes ago, Tommygilf said:

I was at Wakefield last night (as a neutral but wanting Wakefield to win) and didn't think the ref had that poor of a game at all - except for when they gave Wakefield a conversion that clearly missed! There's also an element of truth that if you're going forward you're more likely to get penalties in your favour, which naturally compounds the misery for the team playing less well at that moment.

Its not the refs fault Wakefield couldn't finish half the opportunities they got or that in the second half Hull's kicking game was rubbish. Perhaps its a bitterness thats ingrained by not winning anything for 50 years? 

I haven’t seen the kick in question but on the basis that the TJs gave it then the referee has to award it

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11 hours ago, north yorks trinity said:

Really sorry to hear that. Personal abuse is totally indefensible.  Don't know which game you were at but James Child had an absolute stinker in the first half at Wakefield tonight and does seem to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder about Wakey.  I'm quite happy to admit that I was making it clear what I thought about his refereeing and I think that's part and parcel of the game but if it got into the realms of what you allege then it absolutely needs rooting out.  A bit of video footage shouldn't be hard to obtain these days and then the idiots can be dealt with.  ATEOD I'm still really disappointed in both the result and some of the officiating but it's a game and there are things in life which are much more important, or if you think there aren't you should be taking a good look at yourself.

James Child won’t have a chip on his shoulder about Wakey but you & some Wakey fans do have a chip on their shoulders about him.

I would also bet that he didn’t have an absolute stinker but probably made some calls against your team that you didn’t like either through not seeing what actually happened or through a lack of knowledge of the laws 

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Do i complain about refs decisions in the heat of the moment, yes, do I get exasperated and yell my displeasure, yes. Does it get personal no. I was embarrassed with the standard "the referee's a ######" chant when the mob feels their team have been unjustly penalised. One because its idiotic and two their not going to suddenly realise turn round and say 'you know what? You're right, I better give your team the next 50/50.'

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5 minutes ago, LeeF said:

I haven’t seen the kick in question but on the basis that the TJs gave it then the referee has to award it

Oh yeah of course, but even in the north stand people were a little bemused.

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51 minutes ago, Wakefield Ram said:

If you watch a game not involving your team, it's remarkable how little you notice the referee. I ref RU at a very junior level and yes you blow your whistle sometimes, give the decision and then think yep got that wrong. But you have probably a second to make the call. And you're taking the context of the game into consideration. Is the game flowing enough? Did I let a similar minor infringement go earlier? Was the opposition infringing at the same time? And you're doing this on the run, sometimes with a view obscured by players (yes they get in the way sometimes) and doing this for 80 minutes. And being closer to the action than spectators, you see things that they don't from 50/60/70  metres away, but they know what they saw and they're right. Try reffing it's 10 times harder than you'd imagine and 100 times harder than shouting from the stands.

It's not helped by idiotic commentary on Sky. As an example, last night Blake Austin threw a pass 3-4 metres forward which the ref rightly blew. To howls from the crowd and think it was Terry O Connor who said he didn't think it was forward. Just look at the pitch markings where the passer and catcher are. 

Refs make mistakes, but genuinely don't care who wins. Losing coaches often blame the ref but when they win rarely say it was down to the ref.

As has been said ad infinitum on here, you can't judge a pass by pitch markings.

Sky Sports Jenna Brooks to Jake Connor regarding England selection : "Shaun Wane has said that he's spoken to you about why you were left out, he's also said he's told you what you needed to do more of, I'm interested, what do you need to do more of and did you do it tonight?"

Jake Connor : "I don't know, to be honest I haven't spoken to him."

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13 minutes ago, The Hallucinating Goose said:

Don't be so insensitive, referees are people with feelings and emotions. This person clearly loves their job and wants to do it to the best of their ability. When he signed his work contract there was not a clause that said, "part and parcel of this job is being abused". But cos he's not as hard as all these refs you know he shouldn't do it? No one goes to work to be abused! 

I worked in a school for years and it wasn't part of my job to be abused by the snotty, sticky children every day but I did. So many school staff end up having breakdowns and stress related illnesses because of the abuse they suffer but they do it because they love the job, not because its part of it and they are hard! 

"it wasn't part of my job to be abused by the snotty, sticky children every day but I did"

at my school, it was us pupils who were verbally abused bt the staff. ..but then, Dotheboys Hall closed in 1841

“If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.” Zen Proverb

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Just now, Tommygilf said:

Oh yeah of course, but even in the north stand people were a little bemused.

Not arguing whether the kick was good or not just that it wasn’t the ref’s call

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I do hope the person will carry on, we need more refs in the game. The RFL  should have systems to deal with this and support all the refs? 

 

 

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Start with the coaches. Every time a coach goes into print or on T.V. complaining about the Ref. fine him a couple of thousand pounds.It will soon stop. Any supporters like the idiot on this site from Wakefield,the club should find him and ban him for life from entering their ground. I believe Wakey have done just that this last couple of weeks with unruly speccies. Find this idiot and do the same with him.

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I can’t believe some of the comments on here.

Do refs make a mistake, yes

Is it intentional, definitely no

Are they closer to the action than the crowd and have a better view, yes

Do they know the rules better than the crowd, yes

Some folks on here need to have a go at being a ref themselves. Leave them alone they’re doing a great job.

 

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Various posts (and one poster) removed for personal abuse. Somewhat ironic considering the point of the thread.

We won't put up with it on here, whether it is aimed at a referee, a player, an official or another forum member.

Thread reopened, as it is a very valid discussion.

.

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We live in a world where fly on the wall documentaries and reality TV shows of people behaving appallingly is entertainment.

I don't think that there is that much more anti social behaviour than there was say 20 or 30 years ago (if any) but it is normalised more with people now just accepting it as a part of life.

As for our referees... at all layers of the game. A big thank you for what you do and what you have to put up with at times, I wouldn't blame anybody them for giving it up but I sincerely hope you don't.

"The history of the world is the history of the triumph of the heartless over the mindless." — Sir Humphrey Appleby.

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