Bearman Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 A priest is giving a young nun a lift home from church one day... and as he's shifting gears, he rests his hand on the nun's knee... The young nun looks up at the priest and says: "Father, remember Luke 14:10." -The priest withdraws his hand, embarrassed. Next time they stop at a light, he places his hand a little higher up on her thigh. The nun says: "Remember Luke 14:10, Father." The priest apologizes: "The flesh is weak", he says... So he drops her off and when he gets home, he reaches for his Bible and he flips to Luke 14:10. "Friend, come up higher, then shalt thou have glory." D’oh!! 1 Ron Banks Midlands Hurricanes and Barrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanaBull Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 What did the cannibal do after she dumped her boyfriend? She wiped her bum. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidM Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 Man goes into a pet shop and says ‘ I’d like to buy a wasp ‘. The manager says ‘we don’t sell wasps ‘. The man replies ‘well you’ve got one in the window ‘ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Future is League Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerrumonside ref Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 10 hours ago, Mumby Magic said: My mate has called his daughter Shania. That don't impress me much. If it makes you happy, it can’t be that baaaad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mumby Magic Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 13 hours ago, Gerrumonside ref said: If it makes you happy, it can’t be that baaaad. Thats Sheryl Crow. 1 Like poor jokes? Thejoketeller@mullymessiah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyBoy295 Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 Bought a boat today. I didnt really need it, but there was a sail on 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mumby Magic Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 I think psychology is mental. Like poor jokes? Thejoketeller@mullymessiah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanaBull Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 Vatican issued a statement bemoaning the influx of feral felines giving kisses to visitors. You would have thought they would have liked roaming cat licks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted October 22, 2021 Author Share Posted October 22, 2021 Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. Ralph Waldo Emerson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Posted October 23, 2021 Share Posted October 23, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted October 30, 2021 Author Share Posted October 30, 2021 1 1 Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. Ralph Waldo Emerson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mumby Magic Posted October 30, 2021 Share Posted October 30, 2021 If you had a job in South Korea and left it for a job in North Korea. Would that be a bad Korea move? 2 Like poor jokes? Thejoketeller@mullymessiah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidM Posted October 30, 2021 Share Posted October 30, 2021 4 hours ago, Mumby Magic said: If you had a job in South Korea and left it for a job in North Korea. Would that be a bad Korea move? Yes , or you’ve been kidnapped 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted October 30, 2021 Author Share Posted October 30, 2021 1 hour ago, DavidM said: Yes , or you’ve been kidnapped And forced to direct a cruddy kaiju movoe: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulgasari 1 Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. Ralph Waldo Emerson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Hallucinating Goose Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 18 hours ago, DavidM said: Yes , or you’ve been kidnapped Personally I think the best way to enter North Korea is by surfboard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearman Posted November 7, 2021 Share Posted November 7, 2021 (edited) One for Robin BBC Breaking News South Yorkshire Police have found £12 million worth of cocaine, 6 AK47 assault rifles and 200 live hand grenades at a house behind the library in Rotherham. Residents are to be shocked as they didn't know there was a library in Rotherham Edited November 7, 2021 by Bearman 3 1 Ron Banks Midlands Hurricanes and Barrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidM Posted November 8, 2021 Share Posted November 8, 2021 Man dies very unexpectedly 401 years ago , shocking his family … 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted November 15, 2021 Author Share Posted November 15, 2021 1 Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. Ralph Waldo Emerson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted November 17, 2021 Author Share Posted November 17, 2021 Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. Ralph Waldo Emerson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearman Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the delivery guy knocked on the door to see if were ok 1 Ron Banks Midlands Hurricanes and Barrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearman Posted November 21, 2021 Share Posted November 21, 2021 A Scouser is doing really well on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. He's got to £125,000 with all his lifelines. Jeremy: OK, for £250,000 which of the following was one of the Great Train Robbers was it: Ronnie Biggs Ronnie O'Sullivan Ronnie Corbett Ronnie Wood Take your time Lad: I'll take the money Jeremy Jeremy: Are you sure, you've still got 3 lifelines Lad: I'm sure Jeremy, I'll take the money. Jeremy: OK audience, give him a big round of applause, but before you go I'm sure you'd like to know the answer. Lad: I know the answer Jeremy. Jeremy: You know the answer? You've just turned down a quarter of a million quid, are you mad? are you mental? Lad: I may be mental Jeremy but I'm no grass. 2 Ron Banks Midlands Hurricanes and Barrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exiled Townie Posted November 26, 2021 Share Posted November 26, 2021 1 Jam Eater 1.(noun. jam eeter) A Resident of Whitehaven or Workington. Offensive. It is now a term of abuse that both towns of West Cumbria use for each other especially at Workington/Whitehaven rugby league derby matches. St Albans Centurions Website Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted November 27, 2021 Author Share Posted November 27, 2021 Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. Ralph Waldo Emerson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Future is League Posted December 1, 2021 Share Posted December 1, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now