The Musing Goose

[The Hallucinating Goose]

The everyday thoughts and observations of an anthropomorphic goose.

[The Hallucinating Goose]

Morning everyone!

I'm very much wide awake at 5am and won't be going back to sleep.

One of my worst traits in the world is picking my beak. 

In the early hours of this morning, I learnt a valuable lesson; don't pick your nose and carry out a snot-rocket into your hand in the pitch black. 

At 5am, I turned the bedside lamp on because I couldn't find my phone to check what time it was (I had pushed it further away than usual) only to be greeted with a sight from a horror film. My right hand was covered in blood! 

In my never-ending stupidity, I picked my nose with my left hand to check whether it was this that had caused the bleeding, and I hadn't been stabbed in the middle of the night, and yes it was indeed this, confirmed with my left hand also now covered in blood.

Just as I was about to get out of bed to go clean myself up, I heard another member of the Goose Nest go into the bathroom and subsequently into the shower as they were getting ready for work. And so, for the following 10 minutes, I laid in bed staring at the ceiling covered in blood. 

Again, don't pick your nose in the middle of the night so confidently.

On the plus side, and I don't know how, I didn't get any on the sheets!

[The Hallucinating Goose]

I was in a charity shop earlier and saw the hundreds of dvds at 5 for £1. It got me thinking about my first dvds and the incredible, futuristic technology that they were when they came about. Every week I was spending another £10 on a very average film just to add to the collection! 

I can still remember my first dvd; it was 'Ali G in da House' (title something like that) and the reason I remember this is because it came with my first dvd player, which was a PlayStation 2. I can't remember what my first game was.

I still have a lot of dvds but very rarely watch them these days. I actually find myself watching things I have on dvd but streaming them on my tablet instead just because I'm a lazy goose who can't be bothered to go get the dvd and put it in the machine.

I've also still got a bluray player but I can't even remember the last time that was used. I never had many of those. I don't think it was a technology that was massively popular. Why would you spend double the money on a bluray as opposed to a dvd just to get a slightly better quality picture? 

How quick technology moves on, eh?

[Futtocks]

3 hours ago, The Hallucinating Goose said:

I was in a charity shop earlier and saw the hundreds of dvds at 5 for £1. It got me thinking about my first dvds and the incredible, futuristic technology that they were when they came about. Every week I was spending another £10 on a very average film just to add to the collection! 

I can still remember my first dvd; it was 'Ali G in da House' (title something like that) and the reason I remember this is because it came with my first dvd player, which was a PlayStation 2. I can't remember what my first game was.

I still have a lot of dvds but very rarely watch them these days. I actually find myself watching things I have on dvd but streaming them on my tablet instead just because I'm a lazy goose who can't be bothered to go get the dvd and put it in the machine.

I've also still got a bluray player but I can't even remember the last time that was used. I never had many of those. I don't think it was a technology that was massively popular. Why would you spend double the money on a bluray as opposed to a dvd just to get a slightly better quality picture? 

How quick technology moves on, eh?

I suppose, when you can stream in better quality than DVD without digging out the physical media, the old 480p format has lost its lustre. Bigger TV modern screens really do show up the difference.

DVDs were a revelation compared to VHS, though.

[Wiltshire Warrior Dragon]

I wasn't too keen on this thread when I saw its title.  After all, no muse is good muse!

[The Hallucinating Goose]

Top tip. Don't relentlessly diet for 2 months and then spend an entire weekend eating sweets, crisps, hot cross buns with half a tub of butter on each one, at least a loafs worth of toast with lemon curd (not all in one go) and four packs of greek yoghurts (all in one go), when you're due to go on holiday the following Monday. 

It reeks in this bedroom and I'm pretty sure the plane is gonna break down after what I'm likely to leave in the bogs.  

[The Hallucinating Goose]

Airport toilets, couldn't help noticing a condom machine. Who is buying johnnies in an airport??

[CanaBull]

29 minutes ago, The Hallucinating Goose said:

Airport toilets, couldn't help noticing a condom machine. Who is buying johnnies in an airport??

Mile high club hopefuls?

[The Hallucinating Goose]

1 hour ago, CanaBull said:

Mile high club hopefuls?

Nah, they've gone out of business, mate.

[The Hallucinating Goose]

23 hours ago, The Hallucinating Goose said:

Airport toilets, couldn't help noticing a condom machine. Who is buying johnnies in an airport??

Just to add to this, I'm walking down the street in Venice and what do I see? Condom vending machine in the street! Italians, legends!

[CanaBull]

57 minutes ago, The Hallucinating Goose said:

Just to add to this, I'm walking down the street in Venice and what do I see? Condom vending machine in the street! Italians, legends!

Maybe the ones in airports are to accommodate traveling Venetians  

[The Hallucinating Goose]

4 hours ago, CanaBull said:

Maybe the ones in airports are to accommodate traveling Venetians  

He's nailed it!

[The Hallucinating Goose]

What causes nightmares? 

I've just had 5 hours of full on nightmares. Not even those dreams where you wake up and think it was a bit weird but actual full on nightmares.

Most of the elements of the dreams, I can figure out where they came from but none of those things are scary, so why does the mind combine them into scary scenarios? 

That's certainly me done sleeping for the night. Luckily I had a couple of hours nap yesterday afternoon as well so don't feel too sleepy.  

[Hopie]

31 minutes ago, The Hallucinating Goose said:

What causes nightmares? 

I've just had 5 hours of full on nightmares. Not even those dreams where you wake up and think it was a bit weird but actual full on nightmares.

Most of the elements of the dreams, I can figure out where they came from but none of those things are scary, so why does the mind combine them into scary scenarios? 

That's certainly me done sleeping for the night. Luckily I had a couple of hours nap yesterday afternoon as well so don't feel too sleepy.  

Geese are unihemispheric sleepers meaning one half of the brain rests while the other half remains alert. This sleeping "with one eye open" helps them stay alert to the presence of danger, so perhaps there is something scary nearby?

[The Hallucinating Goose]

1 hour ago, Hopie said:

Geese are unihemispheric sleepers meaning one half of the brain rests while the other half remains alert. This sleeping "with one eye open" helps them stay alert to the presence of danger, so perhaps there is something scary nearby?

Italians?

[The Hallucinating Goose]

Well I fell asleep for another hour and managed not to have a nightmare, but it was bloomin' weird.

I was a cat that was in the SAS and was dropped onto an aircraft carrier before sneaking my way round the boat shooting bad guys!  

[The Hallucinating Goose]

Well I can tell I'm back in Britain. 

The train from Manchester Airport to Manchester Victoria was 15 minutes late because trains were queueing to get into the station. 

My connection to Hull was delayed by 10 minutes due to a disruptive passenger.

And now I'm in Hull for my last connection which looks like it's gonna be cancelled because of a signalling fault, at a station I just passed through on the previous train I should add.

[The Hallucinating Goose]

I went to the supermarket earlier and was almost knocked over by a little girl running out of the door. Her mother was following with the trolley and shouted, "come back here, Hermione!"

We've reached the point in history where the Harry Potter nerds are breeding... 

[Leeds Wire]

How do we know that it's actually you in your profile pic?

[The Hallucinating Goose]

5 hours ago, Leeds Wire said:

How do we know that it's actually you in your profile pic?

Do you really think mere sane poultry could recreate that stare? 

[The Hallucinating Goose]

Does anyone else get a real sense of satisfaction at judging to perfection where the train door is going to stop in relation to the platform when you're waiting?

[Futtocks]

6 hours ago, The Hallucinating Goose said:

Does anyone else get a real sense of satisfaction at judging to perfection where the train door is going to stop in relation to the platform when you're waiting?

Some modern stations make it too easy.

https://londonist.com/london/transport/platform-screen-safety-doors-piccadilly-line-new-trains 

 

[The Hallucinating Goose]

19 minutes ago, Futtocks said:

Some modern stations make it too easy.

https://londonist.com/london/transport/platform-screen-safety-doors-piccadilly-line-new-trains 

 

Killjoys.

[The Hallucinating Goose]

What are phone zombies doing that they need to spend so much time on their devices?

Edited March 26 by The Hallucinating Goose

[Wiltshire Warrior Dragon]

On 17/03/2026 at 11:06, The Hallucinating Goose said:

Just to add to this, I'm walking down the street in Venice and what do I see? Condom vending machine in the street! Italians, legends!

The locals should be careful.  Too much sex makes a Venetian blind!