Saying goodbye to a pet

[Chrispmartha]

Today we had to make a decision to sadly put our 14 year old Ragdoll Cat down.

She had not been herself and not eating properly and hiding for the last week or so, so took her to the Vet, she had a large tumour on her Abdomen, we had 3 choices, Surgery and Chemotherapy , Palliative care for a few days maybe a week, or… well you can guess the third, which we took.

We really didn’t think it was fair putting her through surgery snd chemo at her age and the 2nd actually felt selfish on our part, but can’t believe how much this has hurt.

Its my first pet  other than childhood pets, and I’m not sure that prepares you for it as an adult.

I just hope we did the right thing by her.

we have her Brother still, I hope he doesn’t miss her, to be fair he’s in his own little world most if the time!!

Absolutely heartbroken  

[Futtocks]

This is about a dog rather than a cat, but it sums up a lot of the pet-owning experience.

The Power of the Dog
by Rudyard Kipling

There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie - 
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find - it’s your own affair - 
But… you’ve given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!).
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone - wherever it goes - for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.

We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we’ve kept ’em, the more do we grieve:

For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short-time loan is as bad as a long - 
So why in Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

Edited April 14 by Futtocks

[The Hallucinating Goose]

I'm so sorry, mate.  

I've experienced this a couple of times. It's heartbreaking. I think I've cried more over the loss of cats than over anything else in the world. They such innocent, purely happy balls of joy. They don't have a care in the world. The most satisfying feeling, the one feeling that puts such a massive smile on your face is to just watch them sleeping, curled up on your knee, purring with that huge grin on their faces. There is no love in the world quite like that.  

Just remember that. Whether on Earth or in heaven, your cat will always love you and nothing can take that love away. ️  

[Chrispmartha]

27 minutes ago, The Hallucinating Goose said:

I'm so sorry, mate.  

I've experienced this a couple of times. It's heartbreaking. I think I've cried more over the loss of cats than over anything else in the world. They such innocent, purely happy balls of joy. They don't have a care in the world. The most satisfying feeling, the one feeling that puts such a massive smile on your face is to just watch them sleeping, curled up on your knee, purring with that huge grin on their faces. There is no love in the world quite like that.  

Just remember that. Whether on Earth or in heaven, your cat will always love you and nothing can take that love away. ️  

Thank you!

I think one thing I’m struggling with is that she deteriorated so rapidly , I don’t or didn’t think of her as ill (which could be a blessing) so I feel a bit ‘guilty’ of making the decision to put her to sleep of that makes sense.

My wife is more stoic than me but she will miss her incredibly, I think that there's only a handful of mornings in the last 14 years that she hasn’t woken up with her snuggled up asleep beside her

[Gerrumonside ref]

7 hours ago, Chrispmartha said:

Today we had to make a decision to sadly put our 14 year old Ragdoll Cat down.

She had not been herself and not eating properly and hiding for the last week or so, so took her to the Vet, she had a large tumour on her Abdomen, we had 3 choices, Surgery and Chemotherapy , Palliative care for a few days maybe a week, or… well you can guess the third, which we took.

We really didn’t think it was fair putting her through surgery snd chemo at her age and the 2nd actually felt selfish on our part, but can’t believe how much this has hurt.

Its my first pet  other than childhood pets, and I’m not sure that prepares you for it as an adult.

I just hope we did the right thing by her.

we have her Brother still, I hope he doesn’t miss her, to be fair he’s in his own little world most if the time!!

Absolutely heartbroken  

Sorry to hear this and I still miss our beloved family pet cat too who was a right little character.

As ever, time is a great healer.

I hope in the future you will be left with all the great memories that pet ownership has brought which will outweigh the pain you feel now at losing a family member (which is how this feels).

[Gerrumonside ref]

1 hour ago, The Hallucinating Goose said:

I'm so sorry, mate.  

I've experienced this a couple of times. It's heartbreaking. I think I've cried more over the loss of cats than over anything else in the world. They such innocent, purely happy balls of joy. They don't have a care in the world. The most satisfying feeling, the one feeling that puts such a massive smile on your face is to just watch them sleeping, curled up on your knee, purring with that huge grin on their faces. There is no love in the world quite like that.  

Just remember that. Whether on Earth or in heaven, your cat will always love you and nothing can take that love away. ️  

Great post!

[Irish Saint]

Chrispmartha,  I am sorry for your loss. Like the Goose I have shed more tears over a pets loss.

Ar the moment we have two cats Tiny in his sixteen year and Sooty in his seventh. Sooty regards every human and every animal as his friend.

Tiny is my shadow my teacher my friend my soul mate. I was diagnosed with Myelofibrosis,  a rare blood cancer ,last September. Some days this year have been tough, those days Tiny does not leave my side.

Chrispmartha,  may the happy memories you have of your late cat comfort you at this time and may she luve in your heart forever.

[CanaBull]

Sincere condolences on this, it certainly is challenging time, I know I suffer more with losing pets than people!

Last year had to say goodbye to my 18 year old cat Willie Nelson. For the last 18 months I was giving him under skin fluids for his kidney issues three times a week.  He was a grumpy and fighty about that for most of that time but toward the end that went away.  It was time at that point, that it became suffering and that was his way of telling me.

We are never ready but I think they tell us about their quality of life and their readiness. It shows your care that you saw and respected that.

So sorry for your loss. 

[Chrispmartha]

24 minutes ago, CanaBull said:

Sincere condolences on this, it certainly is challenging time, I know I suffer more with losing pets than people!

Last year had to say goodbye to my 18 year old cat Willie Nelson. For the last 18 months I was giving him under skin fluids for his kidney issues three times a week.  He was a grumpy and fighty about that for most of that time but toward the end that went away.  It was time at that point, that it became suffering and that was his way of telling me.

We are never ready but I think they tell us about their quality of life and their readiness. It shows your care that you saw and respected that.

So sorry for your loss. 

Thank you

I think because it all seems so sudden, but looking back over the last month in hindsightI think there were a few signs that all wasn't well, and then when she was pretty much hiding away under the bed we knew she was really poorly, it's just hard because a few weeks ago we had what seemed a healthy very happy cat and now she's gone.

I know cats health can seemingly deteriorate very quick as they are masters at masking it. We had her and her brothers yearly injections only about a month and a half ago and the vet said they were super healthy and both were weighing healthy, the poor thing lost over 1 kg in the last week or so 

[CanaBull]

9 minutes ago, Chrispmartha said:

Thank you

I think because it all seems so sudden, but looking back over the last month in hindsightI think there were a few signs that all wasn't well, and then when she was pretty much hiding away under the bed we knew she was really poorly, it's just hard because a few weeks ago we had what seemed a healthy very happy cat and now she's gone.

I know cats health can seemingly deteriorate very quick as they are masters at masking it. We had her and her brothers yearly injections only about a month and a half ago and the vet said they were super healthy and both were weighing healthy, the poor thing lost over 1 kg in the last week or so 

Yeah, they’re tough little buggers until they can’t be tough any more .  They do live on in heart and head though.  Mine didn’t meow as much as shout, I still hear that, bittersweet but it makes me smile. 

[Chrispmartha]

3 minutes ago, CanaBull said:

Yeah, they’re tough little buggers until they can’t be tough any more .  They do live on in heart and head though.  Mine didn’t meow as much as shout, I still hear that, bittersweet but it makes me smile. 

Cinnamon had the cutest little 'meow' when she wanted to wake us up in the morning, it was a really quiet 'aaaa' sound, accompanied by a soft touch of the face with her paw.

If for whatever reason she forgot to sleep on the bed cuddles up with my wife (which she did for pretty much her whole life) and her alarm went off in the morning, you could here her sprinting into the room to make sure she got a cuddle before we got up.

She had a totally different personality to her Brother, she didn't really like other people and kept herself to herself in her bedroom, (yes she had a full bedroom to herself, she was the Boss) but she had specific cuddle times and hated to be out of that routine.

Her brother is just a cuddle monster who sits with us in the living room all the time, I say sit, usually he's flat on his back wanting his tummy rubbing.

 

This is Cinnamon. RIP

[hindle xiii]

Our family dog is 12, and I have begun to get familiar with the practical side of what may happen down the line, i.e. who does what at the vets.

However, I understand that I don't know what the future holds and can't plan for an ideal ending. But I know we will all be too upset to think pragmatically.

I also have regular nightmares where the dog runs into the road.

[Chrispmartha]

2 hours ago, hindle xiii said:

Our family dog is 12, and I have begun to get familiar with the practical side of what may happen down the line, i.e. who does what at the vets.

However, I understand that I don't know what the future holds and can't plan for an ideal ending. But I know we will all be too upset to think pragmatically.

I also have regular nightmares where the dog runs into the road.

We always said wed pay tor a vet to come to the house if we had to put one of them to sleep, but even though it felt rushed she was so poorly in the end that it felt cruel to medicate her, take her home and have prolong it.

I’m constantly getting pangs of guilt though about wether we did the correct thing, but I suppose that’s just part of the grieving process , I don’t know why, but it’s shocked me how much it’s affected me

[CanaBull]

It’s always been my job in the family to make that decision when it came to it, with the dogs or the cats.  I had those same doubts, I think if people didn’t have doubts that would be odd to be honest.  I am satisfied though, that with the pets that I’ve had to make that decision about, I made the best choice with as much information as I could get and I didn’t prolong their suffering out of fear or guilt.

To me, in hindsight, the doubts are a sign of how difficult the decision was, and the care that went into it.

With time comes perspective, but the process is the process and takes as long as it takes. You’ll all get there in your own time.

All the best mate

[sentoffagain2]

My son and daughter in laws cat Hades passed in September.He was 17 years old and had not been well for the past year.He had a tumor on his liver and passing a lot of blood in his urine.He was my best mate,he used to sit and watch me doing odd jobs and garden at my sons house.And when i left would follow me to my car to see me off.Time heals a bit but i will never forget him.Hades made me smile and brought me joy.He was a black cat and had his own social media page.

[graveyard johnny]

there's no more dogs for us anymore- its too much heartbreak in the end plus in the last decade I  feel pets have become an industry - from the breeder to the vet - to anything they can sell you that they can convince you it will give your pet a better life - some people treat pets like an ego extension or the latest fashion item to match their handbag - less breeders for starters - anyway - don't get me started

[Wiltshire Warrior Dragon]

On 14/04/2026 at 22:55, Chrispmartha said:

Today we had to make a decision to sadly put our 14 year old Ragdoll Cat down.

She had not been herself and not eating properly and hiding for the last week or so, so took her to the Vet, she had a large tumour on her Abdomen, we had 3 choices, Surgery and Chemotherapy , Palliative care for a few days maybe a week, or… well you can guess the third, which we took.

We really didn’t think it was fair putting her through surgery snd chemo at her age and the 2nd actually felt selfish on our part, but can’t believe how much this has hurt.

Its my first pet  other than childhood pets, and I’m not sure that prepares you for it as an adult.

I just hope we did the right thing by her.

we have her Brother still, I hope he doesn’t miss her, to be fair he’s in his own little world most if the time!!

Absolutely heartbroken  

Thanks for sharing this.

Mrs WWD and I have had to decide to have our pet dogs put to sleep a couple of times.  It is always hard.  Our last dog trundled on happily in his later life, but then, one day, I realised he was no longer looking forward to his meals and his morning walk; even when the latter was down to a few hundred yards, he was still keen to go.  So we called in the vet and I was grateful that she took the trouble to say she thought we had got the timing right, based on what I said - not too soon, not too late.

You mention that your cat deteriorated very quickly at the end.  I think that is probably a blessing in disguise.

Enjoy still having her brother.

[hindle xiii]

On 16/04/2026 at 17:43, hindle xiii said:

Our family dog is 12, and I have begun to get familiar with the practical side of what may happen down the line, i.e. who does what at the vets.

However, I understand that I don't know what the future holds and can't plan for an ideal ending. But I know we will all be too upset to think pragmatically.

I also have regular nightmares where the dog runs into the road.

13 today.

[Gerrumonside ref]

2 hours ago, hindle xiii said:

13 today.

Many happy returns for Rover

[Futtocks]

42 minutes ago, Gerrumonside ref said:

Many happy returns for Rover

Not 'arf!

[hindle xiii]

3 hours ago, Gerrumonside ref said:

Many happy returns for Rover

Robbie.

Named after everyone's favourite BBC rugby league pitch side pundit.

[Phil]

I’ve only just seen this, I’ve been there with both cats and dogs and it’s absolutely awful.

My wife was a veterinary nurse so she normally says “it’s time” 

Condolences to everyone on here who’s been through this, but just remember the joy we had from them