What would your last meal on Earth be?
It would be a split between my mum’s and my missus’ roast dinners. I’ll have to make the potatoes, though, because I make the world’s best potatoes. It would be a toss-up between pork belly and chicken. I’d probably have them both!
What song do you listen to more than any other?
Dominick the Donkey, the Christmas song. Probably one of the best songs ever written. I listen to it all the time. It doesn’t matter, it’s Christmas every day in my head.
If you could become any animal for the day, what would you be?
I’d be a lion, because they’re powerful and lazy.
What year would you go to in a time machine?
I’d probably go forwards to when the world has been overtaken by zombies and I’d go round killing them. With a shotgun. I wouldn’t go back and see my ancestors, they’re probably boring.
What scares you more than anything?
Spiders, I don’t like spiders. I kill them, I catch them. Sometimes I set them free. My wife wants me to catch them and set them free, she doesn’t know I go ‘yeah, I set it free’ and kill it.
It’s my round, what are you drinking?
I like a Guinness now and then, it’s full of iron. It’s not really a beer, it’s like vitamins. So you can have at least ten of them.
Name one thing you wish you were better at
I wish I was better at school, I wish I listened. I wish I turned up, that would have been good. I nicked off all the time. I got my GCSEs but not what I wanted.
Do you have any lucky charms or superstitions?
The only superstition I have is that I do a spin before I go on the field, as I go across the line. It’s something I’ve always done since I was young, I must have seen it in a film or something, and it has stuck with me until now. It annoys me but I have to do it. If I didn’t do it? I don’t know, the world would probably end.
What is your favourite TV programme?
I’ve got loads. Amish Mafia, it’s probably one of the best things ever. Walking Dead, it’s just zombies, killing zombies. Banshee, that’s like a criminal who gets out of prison who goes to this town to find his ex-missus, this cop dies so he takes his identity and now he’s a cop in this town.
What is your all-time favourite film?
It’s got to be Anchorman hasn’t it? I haven’t seen the second one but I’ve seen clips of it. It’s out on pirate but I want to watch it in the cinema. I need to go but I can’t because we’ve got a baby. and we can’t just leave the baby at home. My top three… I am a Godfather 2 fan, that would be number three. Number two would be Catch me if you Can, with Leonardo DiCaprio, and number one would be Anchorman.
Dogs or cats?
Dogs, I’ve got a Bull Mastiff Cross, she’s seven, called Lacy. She’s a good girl, she knows, don’t walk her on her lead, she comes back to me.
Curry or a Chinese?
It would have to be both, I couldn’t decide. I’m a bit of a wuss, I have a keema naan and a lamb korma from the curry house. In terms of Chinese, I’ll just have prawn toast. I like prawn toast, crumbs and sesame seeds everywhere.
Tidy or messy?
I’m tidy, once I start cleaning up, I clean up. Sometimes I’m messy but then I’ll clean up if I’m in the mood. If I’ve had a coffee. My wife doesn’t get mad at me, she doesn’t hit me with frying pans or anything like that.
Any bad habits?
I do like coughing up sh*t a lot, like just going [snorts] like that, I do that a bit, the missus doesn’t like it. Sometimes I swallow it sometimes I spit it. In people’s faces? No normally on the floor, it’s usually at training.
What would you do if the world was going to end in 24 hours?
Can’t really say, can you? I could be a soppy romantic or just a ruthless man. Probably for half of the day I would go round being a weirdo and just like smashing things up, then go spend it with my family.
What was your first car like?
It was a green Fiat Punto which had no brakes – you had to slow down using the gears, pop it into second and then first, then stop with the handbrake. Very safe. Passed its MOT. It cost me £249. It was M reg I think. I’ve got a Volvo like a jeep thing now.
Do you have any hobbies outside RL?
Watching football. I’m a Millwall fan [wasn’t impressed to discover JW is a Leeds supporter]. I play Fantasy Football for the Premier League, all the boys do it. I’m sixth out of 14, there’s about 60 points between us all, though.
Who is your favourite fictional character?
It would have to be Ron Burgundy [Anchorman lead character], he’s hilarious. I was going to say Brick Tamland [another Anchorman character], in fact say him. He’s hilarious.
Do you have any party tricks?
I can juggle and I can talk like Gollum [pulls off quite a convincing impression]. The Lord of the Rings is alright, I could watch it again, but not bowled over by it.
What did you do for your first job?
I was an apprentice electrician with one of my dad’s mates. Under the floorboards a lot really, just poking wires everywhere.
What is the greatest moment of your life?
When my child was born. I was proud. I felt I’d finally done something good. Career-wise, representing England was a highlight. And getting to Old Trafford.
Who is your best friend in the game?
[JW explains that team-mate Alex Walmsley said Louie was high on his list] I hate Walmsley. Not Walmsley [laughs]! There’s a couple. Walmsley is up there, Andrew Dixon for Salford, Tony Clubb, they’re probably up there.
Who is the funniest RL player you know?
There’s been a lot of funny characters in this team, but this year it’s probably Richard Beaumont, he’s very funny. We get on like a house on fire. There’s a lot though. Adam Swift is very dry. But they’re not as funny as me.
Which pro has the worst dress sense?
Got to give it to Paul Wellens, he still thinks he’s in the 1950s or something. He doesn’t wear good stuff. [Alex] Walmsley wears a vest a lot, even when it’s cold. Go Walmsley! Walmsley and Wello.
Do you have any guilty pleasures?
Chocolate and sweets, jellies. My favourite chocolate bar is a Boost. I do like a Boost. I like Haribo jellies.
If you could change something about yourself what would it be?
To be less funny. It’s really hard trying to be funny all the time.
Most embarrassing moment
I’ve done loads of stuff on nights out but I can’t really say. Probably wetting myself!