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Futtocks

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Posts posted by Futtocks

  1. Do or Die (1991) dir. Andy Sidaris

     

    Yup, it's another Sidaris jigglefest! This time Pat Morita (from 'The Karate Kid') is an evil criminal mastermind who informs secret agents Dona Speir (Playmate of the Month, March 1984) and Roberta Vasquez (Playmate of the Month, November 1984) that he has set six pairs of assassins on their shapely tails. The two busty agents have to survive and dispose of their would-be killers and, well, that's about it.

     

    Here's noted reviewer Joe Bob Briggs' rundown on the stats: Twenty breasts. Fourteen dead bodies. One dead cat. One dead duck. Five motor vehicle chases. Exploding helicopter. Exploding Volkswagen. Exploding boat. Exploding ninjas. Helicopter-and-Jeep chase. Two machine-gun battles. Two hot tub scenes. Gratuitous model-airplane competition. Kung Fu. Hula Fu. Throwing star Fu. Jet-ski Fu. 
     
    Along the way, our heroines are joined by Erik 'CHiPs' Estrada, despite him being a baddie who was killed in the previous film in the series. Also helping out are Cynthia Brimhall (Playmate of the Month, October 1985), porn star Pandora Peaks (frankly deformed in the chestical area) and former World Speedway champ Bruce Penhall, who has all the acting chops you'd expect from someone whose entire life up to this point has been devoted to riding motorbikes very quickly.
     
    Comic relief is supplied by two particularly inept hitmen, played by Sidaris regulars Richard Cansino and Chu Chu Malave. Actually, they aren't bad, although their parts are hardly challenging.
     
    It is also worth pointing out that baddie Kane is played here by oriental American Pat Morita (b.1932) but in the next film, he's played by young, caucasian and English Geoffrey Moore (b.1966), son of Roger.
  2. Yes, perhaps Im being a tad harsh. I read it through, it held my attention, it was quite well written.

     

    Maybe it was over-hyped here (in Spain) and I expected something better. It didn't inspire me to read any of his other stuff, so there I go.

     

    Not sure what a gothic genre is, but of its type I'd suggest off the top of my head both Eco and Arturo Perez Reverte did better, not to mention the obvious influence of JLB as pointed out by Sepp Blatter's mate.

    It did get a lot of attention in the UK too. It got onto the Richard & Judy recommended list, which promoted and sold chosen books to a much wider audience than they would normally have done.

     

    Meanwhile, this new Andrey Kurkov novel is puzzling me. I'm enjoying it, but the underlying theme is hard to pin down. I have a theory, but it would involve spoilers. The cynical social satire of earlier books (like Death and the Penguin) is less evident, and things are more in the off-beat, almost mystical area of his recent work The Good Angel of Death.

     

    At times, it even seems like a riff on the fictional poet William Ashbless' Twelve Hours of the Night, which would be a sly and obscure reference indeed.

     

    I am enjoying it, but I have no idea at all where it is all heading.

  3. Shadow of the wind by carlos ruiz zaffon. Its a dark gothic story of a writer commissioned to write a book by the devil himself. the beauty of this book is that you don't realise what kind of book it is from one page to the next and its not until the last few pages that you have that eureka moment,truly brilliant

    I quite enjoyed 'Shadow of the Wind', but it was a while ago, so I don't recall it in detail. It owes not a little to the fiction writing of Jorge Luis Borges, especially the first part. 

  4. And that futtocks is one of my all time favourite TV moments.... absolutely fabulous. I've just "you tubed" it & shared on Facebook cos everyone should have another watch of that...

    Great! Super... I didn't get where I am today without liking a scene like that. ;) 

     

    And doesn't Jimmy's deluded fantasy sound awfully UKIP-ish?

  5. And that futtocks is one of my all time favourite TV moments.... absolutely fabulous. I've just "you tubed" it & shared on Facebook cos everyone should have another watch of that...

    Reginald Iolanthe Perrin....a much underrated show

    Have you read the Perrin books? They add more internal dialogue and background to the characters and are a great read.

  6. Fairly Secret Army. I knew of this series, but never got to see it 'til now. Several episodes on YouTube.

     

    Geoffrey Palmer plays Major Harry Kitchener Wellington Truscott (ex Queen's Own West Mercian Lowlanders), who is basically Jimmy 'Cock-up' Anderson from the Reginald Perrin stories. They had to rename his character, as this spinoff was on Channel 4 and the BBC held the rights to Perrin.

     

    Thanks to David Nobbs' writing, Harry still talks in clipped absurdities ("Tricky customer, Johnny Chit-Chat; never could get the hang of the blighter") and has precisely zero ability to function outside the military world. His dream is to start an army to strike back when the balloon goes up and hold out against, well, his list already includes "wreckers of law and order. Communists, Maoists, Trotskyists, neo-Trotskyists, crypto-Trotskyists, union leaders, Communist union leaders, atheists, agnostics, long-haired weirdos, short-haired weirdos, vandals, hooligans, football supporters, namby-pamby probation officers, rapists, papists, papist rapists, foreign surgeons... headshrinkers, who ought to be locked up, Wedgwood Benn, keg bitter, punk rock, glue-sniffers, "Play For Today", Clive Jenkins, Roy Jenkins, Up Jenkins, up everybody's, Chinese restaurants - why do you think Windsor Castle is ringed with Chinese restaurants?".

     

    And music by Michael Nyman?  :O

  7. Christ, why has buying proper pork scratchings become such a lottery these days? 

     

    If I don't know the brand, I don't bother unless the bag's transparent, because I've had too many disappointments of late. There seems to be a trend towards crispy puffed skin dusted in flavourings, instead of proper hard scratchings with a layer of fat.

  8. Alves sent off V England. Don't think I've seen a tackle that high ever! Just tackled Kane's head.

    And Kane just got up and carried on, which must have confused the Portuguese. Surely a model professional should hit the ground screeching like a stabbed drag queen if he's even been breathed on hard?

  9. Good point - I haven't heard a single positive thing about the Ghostbusters reboot. Everything about it sounds dismal.

     

    As for Danny "I worked wiv 'Arold Pinter" Dyer, I'm guessing that, even in the films your recommended, he plays a well 'ard Cockernee geezah, possibly wiv a shootah.

  10. Who doesn't like a bit of Dyer. 

    * puts hand up * Me!

     

    Of course, some B Movies are better than expected - Roger Corman's 1994 version of 'The Fantastic Four' may have had cheap-as-chips SFX and it was never officially released, but I reckon the film as a whole is better than any of the rather lifeless big-budget CGI attempts in more recent years.

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