Another Joke Thread in Any Other Business / Any Other Sports Posted 31 minutes ago 3 hours ago, blackknight said: I arrived early at the restaurant and the manager said "Do you mind waiting a bit". I said "No". "Good" he said. "Take these drinks to table 9". Funnily enough I came on this thread to post a restaurant based joke. ------ A mucky, bedraggled and generally rundown man is sat in a restaurant and sees a beautiful woman sat on her own. She's the most beautiful woman he's ever seen so he calls the waiter over and asks for a bottle of champagne to be delivered to the woman. The waiter takes the bottle over and when the woman looks over at the man he offers her the most charming smile she's ever seen. She takes a pen out of her bag and writes on a napkin, 'thank you for the champagne but in order for me to accept it you have to have a Mercedes in your garage, the keys to a mansion in your pocket, millions in your bank account and 7 inches in your trousers'. The waiter takes the message to the man. He reads it and writes a reply which the waiter promptly delivers to the woman. She opens the napkin and reads what the man has written, "remember that most people are not initially what they appear to be. I may look in a rough state but I actually have a ferrari, a lamborghini, a porsche and an Aston in multiple garages across multiple mansions in Paris, London, the Mediterranean and the Caribbean, and I have billions in the bank not just millions but nothing would make me cut 3 inches off for anyone no matter how beautiful they are. Just send back the champagne!"