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A joke or two

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My mate Tony , slipped up the other night , instead of his liquid Viagra he drank a bottle of tippex .

He tells me he woke up the next morning with a huge correction .

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A man kicks an old tin can ( after leaving the divorce court and being well and truly shafted ) , a genie appears , I will grant you 3 wishes he says , but what ever you wish for your wife gets double .

O K the man says give me 1 million pounds .

your wish is granted , but your wife gets 2 million pounds says the genie .

What is your second wish says the genie .

Give me a tropical island with a luxury mansion on it says the man .

O K says the genie but your wife gets 2 islands .

The genie asks what is your final wish .

The man replies beat me half to death.

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