The Hallucinating Goose

Who said that? What's that over there? Where am I? Who am I? Where did all these feathers come from? C'mon Portugal!!

The stats for the Spain-Costa Rica game are unbelievable. Costa Rica had only 18% possession in the whole game. They did not have a single shot in the entire game, not one single shot. They passed the ball only 231 times to Spain's 1,060. Neither goalkeeper made a save throughout the game as there were 7 shots on goal and they were the 7 goals. I don't know the last time I saw such one sided stats.

What's upset you about it, mate?

Well well...

Oh you get people whistling at you down Hull Library as well!

Well this Germany game is like my last visit to the library. There's sod all people in there and you could hear a mouse fart.

Only got two right on Only Connect this week, pretty disappointed with myself.

Where are they getting these extra time minutes from in this tournament? 8 minutes at the end of this half?

Another attendance given as above capacity despite the stadium clearly being half empty.

I'm in! I'm backing Humpy McTwohumps!

Why couldn't our world cup have used the football world cup attendance calculator? 67,000 at the first game in a 60,000 stadium and 45,000 at the second in a 40,000 stadium. Can only assume they're counting stewards and police and food kiosk workers and toilet cleaners and what have you.

That was worthy of a VAR check but the Maguire one wasn't? Rubbish system.

That shows how much RLs concussion protocols have come on over the last few years when in the biggest sport in the world a player can decide himself to stay on when he doesn't even know where he is and the doctors don't insist he goes off, only for the player to signal himself a minute later that he can't continue.

Unfortunately the locals sodded off at half time.

2 or 3 passes before the one that was scored off, a player had a toe offside and that was what it was pulled up for. Something to do with it all being part of the same play. Absolute rubbish of course, just had to find a way to scrub it off.

No, I'm a talking goose my fellow poultry friend!

Point. Evidence. Explain. That is what I tell students when they're writing essays. Make your point in layman's terms as if you are offering your point to an alien who has no knowledge of the subject at hand. Provide evidence that backs up your point. Explain in layman's terms how the evidence you've provided proves the point you are making. Each paragraph of your essay should encompass each of these three steps. Also, you can not refer back to the overriding subject of the essay enough. Just went into teacher mode there!

That's offensive to tripe.

Well that was... well...

Right, I've changed my mind, i don't need a new washing machine now (although I'm sure it is still dying) cos my tumble dryer died today and I've spent all day hanging stuff over radiators which I can't afford to turn on. So I need a new tumble dryer!

Seen as you need more, my alter ego could join in.

Do you really think I wash my feathers? Christ, I'd stick out like a sore thumb down my way if I washed the smell of scumbaggery off myself!

I've already got a copy of that book but chuck in a washing machine and I'll take part cos mines on its way out. Don't be rigging the draw so I don't win the washing machine though OF, I know your game! And don't get it from that dodgy place down Newland Ave where I'm sure all their products are stolen and that always has a couple of Eastern Europeans stood outside smoking and looking at people menacingly. I mean, what do they think I'm up to? I'm only going to that Oxfam down there that has a good book section, I'm not the fuzz!

Right I've taken a breath. Well done Samoa, I'm very happy for you. It was a well deserved win and it will do wonders for RL.

Do you have proof they are fatherless?