Futtocks

B-Movie is a state of mind. It didn't have to be the 'B' feature in the cinema, but I think if there's ham with a side order of cheese, it qualifies. If the star of the film is Bruce Campbell, it automatically qualifies.

Anyone remember Mystery Science Theatre 3000? A brilliantly simple idea; they showed an old sci-fi or horror B-movie (the shoddier the better), while a guy and two smart-alec robots made comments on what was happening on screen. There seems to be quite a few episodes on YouTube, if you search MST3K and use search tools to filter out short-duration clips.

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone. The first 3D movie I ever saw, starring Peter Strauss, Molly Ringwald (her second-ever big screen appearance), Michael Ironside and Ernie Hudson. I was a little apprehensive, but it's actually very good fun even after all these years and the somewhat dated SFX. Strauss plays the Han Solo/Indiana Jones character, Ringwald the bratty kid he takes under his wing, Hudson as Strauss' untrustworthy former buddy and Ironside plays 'Overdog' - part man, part machine, all pervy scumbag. A not-very-guilty nostalgia rush. Like Mad Max in space crossed (towards the end) with 'The Crystal Maze' with a garnish of Duran Duran's 'Wild Boys' video. Oh, and there's some fat vampire things, too. According to IMDB, Colin Mochrie (Whose Line is it anyway?) and Harold Ramis make uncredited appearances. Music by Elmer Bernstein, no less!

This was, by BBC4's standards, a poor effort. No new input from the band members, just some hired mouths rehashing clichés.

That said, I haven't heard much original thought yet from the various interviewees.

10pm tonight on BBC4 - a new documentary on Kraftwerk, finishing in time for the Auckland Nines.

He was a serious boozehound. That post about the blanks reminds me of the anecdote Clarissa Dickson-Wright told about seeing a big parade in London and asking what it was all about. When told "the Falklands War victory", she realised she had no awareness that any of it had happened, which turned her off alcohol for the rest of her days.

That could be interesting! I am currently reading The Spanish Ambassador's Suitcase, a collection of Foreign Office 'funnies' compiled by Matthew Parris.

Joel Grey, star of the film 'Cabaret', sings Cream's 'White Room' with a jazzy twist.

Currently working through a bottle of Highland Park. After that, I will definitely be sampling the new Sainsbury's own label offerings.

The one I had was perfectly good, just not particularly memorable, and the import costs make the better-regarded ones a bit expensive in the UK. Otherwise, I'd definitely try more of them.

Allegedly, in the Natural History Museum in the 1940s, some employees installed and operated an illicit still inside the famous model of the blue whale.

I have, but it was several years ago, so my memories are not fresh.

Just looked at the Sainsbury website. A Speyside is listed as well as the Highland, but no Islay. Yet.

The expensive bottles often cost that much due to rarity, rather than the quality of the contents. I bought a bottle of St Magdalene many years ago for a perfectly normal single malt price. That same bottle would now be offered on sale for hundreds of pounds. The whisky inside hasn't got better; it is just that there are very few left from this now-defunct distillery.

I spotted that their own-label single malt had made a comeback when I was in there yesterday. I will definitely try the Highland, but I hope they bring back the Islay one too.

Mentioned on Twitter, but I've only just seen it on MotD - when Chelsea scored their two goals against the 'minnows', they kept the celebrations respectfully low key. After all, they were going to score loads more and win comfortably. What happened next must have shocked them to their very guts. Mourinho, to his credit, didn't try any of his usual childish gripes in the post-match interview either.

Middlesbrough too, knocking Manchester City out 2:0.

I used to have that, but lost it a few years ago. I thought it was very good too.

That could also be applied to Nicholson Baker, author of 'The Fermata' which is actually even more onanistic.

The Spanish Ambassador's Suitcase, a compilation of British diplomatic corps confidential 'funnies', compiled by Matthew Parris. Very good!

A lot of the criticism seems to be from people who just don't like Harry Hill, whatever he does. So they were never going to enjoy it.

Bennett reportedly rubbed himself against the mailbox while holding his hands in the air. Witnesses said he kept shouting “Wow!” during his mailbox masturbation. After he finished, Bennett pulled up his pants and started swinging on a lamppost, according to the Manchester Evening News. Sounds like a free spirit!

Richard Massingham stars in this rather whimsical information film. It also marks Joan Collins' screen debut.

An uncomfortable moment for Richard Nixon. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-4HUaY146I#t=1588