Futtocks

One for... oh, you know who you are.

The pacing of the dialogue is so clunky and plodding, it's like they're waiting for laughter that never arrives.

If Foggy's doing it, I may have to watch this.

This year's 'I'm A Celebrity, give me a plate of Kangaroo Testicles' line-up: Michael Buerk (Newsreader) Melanie Sykes (Model, TV Presenter) Jimmy Bullard (Football) Nadia Forde (?) Craig Charles (Lister out of off of 'Red Dwarf') Tinchy Stryder (Musical sidekick to the Chuckle Brothers. Has recorded the odd song on his own, they say) Carl Fogarty (Superbike World Champion) Vicki Michelle ('Allo 'Allo... and Panto. Of course Panto.) Gemma Collins (T.O.W.I.E.) Kendra Wilkinson (Playboy model and ex-wife of Hugh Hefner)

Just finished listening to the new Pink Floyd. It sounds beautiful and 'big', but nothing has grabbed hold of me and made me sit up. Low-to-mid-tempo tracks where atmospheric guitars and keyboards wash over you, but one track merges into the next a bit too easily. I think Gilmour's just too comfortable to push the boat out, as far as songwriting goes, and he doesn't have Waters to bring the edgy*, uncomfortable side of things. *I hate that word normally; the most vapid of showbiz adjectives when applied to a corporate meat-puppet who acts out a 'bad boy/girl' image. But it's relevant here.

Holy God, it's the whole of Eighties American TV! Plus blood.

'The Detectorists' has had a second series commissioned.

I Googled that, and one of the first results was on a forum thread entitled 'Tramp Drinks'.

I bought a bottle of Ardmore the other day. A pleasant Highland malt with a slight hint of peat. Nothing spectacular, but very pleasant and keenly priced.

An Australian classic.

James Randi does seem to shed a few supporters every now and then, when he abandons hard-nosed enquiry and resorts to grandstanding and bluster, but on the whole, he's a good thing.

Hee hee hee.

Channel 9 should have won the latest photo competition, but Bernard Sutton said no.

ABBC (Calexico & the Amor Belholm Duo) - Gilbert. Atmospheric.

A woman from the audience of 'Question Time' - can anyone account for the movements of David Cameron on the day of filming this episode?

Have they prepared effigies of the Sutton brothers to burn?

Oh. My. God.

Jackie Leven's old band, Doll by Doll.

Well, it's a downbeat thing, not a red-nosed, trouser-dropping slapstick.

I missed episode 2 and have switched over a bit late for a couple of others, but what I've seen has been very good.

From the 'Hermit of Mink Hollow' album.

Er, shurely shome mishtake?

Last in the series, but repeated tonight at 10;40pm. Not the best programme of the series, but still fun.

Try sitting at home, feeling calm with no aeroplane background noise, a glass of something good in one hand and 'Minimum/Maximum' playing through some decent kit at high volume. Immersive.

You have to be in the right mood, like all music. I don't always want to listen to my Kraftwerk albums, but when it's the right time, it's just right.