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David Coleman.

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Just heard on the Beeb that he has passed away. One of the all-time greats who could commentate on any number of sports and have a statistic for everyone on the pitch or track. Even if it was the heats of the Olympic 5K he would have a stat for the Nepalese no-hoper just like a World Champion. Immortalized in rubber by Spitting Image he appeared with it and duffed it up on TV for a laugh.

I only wish that giggling bint who presents Question of Sport could conduct it like he did, I'd still be watching.


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Had a column in Private Eye, Colemanballs.

RIP David

avid Coleman

"He is one of the great unknown champions because very little is known about him."

"If that had gone in, it would have been a goal."

"We estimate, and this isn't an estimation, that Greta Waltz is 80 seconds behind."

"He is accelerating all the time. The last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before in 62."

"And the line-up for the final of the women's 400 metres hurdles includes three Russians, two East Germans, a Pole, a Swede and a Frenchman."

"The front wheel crosses the finish line, closely followed by the back wheel."

"The Republic of China: back in the Olympic Games for the first time."

"That's the fastest time ever run, but it's not as fast as the world record."

"Forest have now lost six matches without winning."

"There is a fine line between serendipity and stalking."

"This evening is a very different evening from the morning we had this morning."

"He's seven seconds ahead and that's a good question."

"I think there is no doubt, she'll probably qualify for the final."

Some of his imitators

"Without being too harsh on David, he cost us the match." - Ian Wright

"They didn't change positions, they just moved the players around." - Terry Venables

"Michael Owen to Newcastle is the biggest transfer of the season so far - and it will be until there's a bigger one." - Jim White

"I can learn as much from Darius Vassell as he can from me - but he can learn more" - Andrew Cole

"I'd like to have seen Tony Morley left on as a down-and-out winger." - Jimmy Armfield

"I spent four indifferent years at Goodison, but they were great years." - Martin Hodge

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