YOU know things are bad when your greatest rivals feel obliged to praise you to the hilt just so they can get a bit of credit.
Such has been the way of things for England after losing the Ashes series in Liverpool and, seven days later, suffering a whitewash in Leeds.
“England are a good quality team,” said Cameron Munster, a modest man with very little to be modest about, at Hill Dickinson Stadium a week ago.
“Their attack is really good, but we just work so hard on our defence. We’re not taking anything away from England.”
Sure, mate. And Australia were at it again in the bowels of AMT Headingley post-match, coach Kevin Walters insisting: “Talk to our players and they have nothing but respect for this English side and the way they play their football.”
The message likely won’t land down under, where Rugby League knowledge is almost as high as the expectations they place on the Kangaroos.
And it will certainly fall on deaf ears among England supporters, as the lynching mob circles Shaun Wane.
Being England coach is generally a thankless task, with no squad pleasing everybody and the general overestimation of our place in the sport meaning few results will do either.
Be it selection calls or playing style, everything that is tolerated – perhaps, rarely, even celebrated – when you’re winning becomes inexcusable when you’re losing.
From his disregard for the Man of Steel and preference for experienced players to the refusal to adapt a style which posed little threat to Australia over three games, Wane’s popularity is currently in that sweet spot between Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves (who ironically has very little “credit in the bank”, the phrase which may just come to define Wane’s tenure).
There were some “sacked in the morning” chants from the South Stand as this latest example of it’s-the-hope-that-kills-you came to a conclusion, a late fifth try from Reece Walsh making it 30-8 – the heaviest loss of the three.
Australian claims have their merits. England have not been easily beaten, not even at Wembley after an even first half. But they’ve been beaten three times in succession, all in suspiciously similar fashion.
Here the first hour was, to use another popular Wane saying, a proper Test match. Kangaroos skipper Isaah Yeo said: “It could have gone either way.” Trouble is, it again went their way.
The key period was early in the second half. Four points down, England forced two repeat sets and a penalty. The Headingley crowd were baying and tensions were boiling.
But as throughout the whole series, the hosts simply didn’t – couldn’t – break the defence in front of them.
In contrast, when Australia marched forward, England left a gap the width of the posts behind the ruck for the world’s best hooker, Harry Grant, gifting the first of three tries in the final quarter.
Wane is contracted for next year’s World Cup, making it his job to lose. In reviewing the series to the RFL, he will no doubt emphasise how England were so close to Australia for many periods of the series. What happened near the two trylines may not get the same airing as the play in between.
A lack of obvious alternatives, especially ones who are English or could make a near full-time commitment, is the worst reason of all to continue with the status quo, but it may yet prove the most persuasive argument.
And maybe those testimonials from Australia will make some difference too, boosting bruised egos enough to convince that, actually, England are just fine without greater preparation, without newer talent, without different tactics. Without a change of coach, too.
Perhaps Australia’s players and coaches should take a leaf from Peter ‘Train Crash’ V’landys’ book. Tell us what you really think. Because there’s no guarantee that demonstrating it on the field is enough.