The Hallucinating Goose

A plastics factory has blown up in Hessle with explosions being heard every couple of minutes right across Hull. Massive cloud of thick black toxic smoke. Humberside fire and rescue telling everyone in West Hull to close their windows and doors, personally already got my curtains shut.

Eat Well For Less does my head in. "Oh we are living in poverty because we are too thick to realise spending £100 a week on wine is a stupid thing to do and it's more important we impress our friends with our branded products than shop in aldi and save a fortune. We need you to show us where we can save money even though at the end of the show we aren't gonna take on any of your advice anyway and are still gonna keep buying the expensive plonk even though we couldn't tell the difference between a £50 or a £5 bottle. Oh poor us..!" Tw*ts.

Ooh, big twist at the end of episode 5 of The Outlaws! Come on BBC, get the last episode on iplayer!

Didn't even need a key for an old Micra. If you'd lost the key for one you just gave the door handle one strong, sharp pull and it opened.

A garden centre in Lincolnshire (I think it was near Brigg) had a Santa's grotto on the go at the end of September.

I checked the wound after an hour of bandaging it up and its still bleeding, no where near as much as it was to start with but still is doing so a second dressing has gone on and I guess I'll check again before I go to bed. I wouldn't be too bothered and would just leave it through the night but I currently have a cold and I'm blowing my nose seemingly every 5 minutes so it's getting quite uncomfortable not being able to do that due to this cotton pad being shoved up there.

I've just been shaving and sliced just at the bottom of my left nostril. The blood is pouring out like I've been stabbed or something, it will just not stop! I've ended up sticking a cotton pad a bit up my nose and over the slice then sticking that down with a plaster, a right to do. I remember I once sliced my lip, my God that wouldn't stop bleeding either!

At the start of the century no one would have thought it realistic that the top division of the game in this country would have two French sides in it and a game played in front of 31,000 in Barcelona with talk of games being played at the Velodrome or that one of those French sides would have won the cup and the league leaders shield and come so close to winning the whole competition but it happened. Its okay to be realistic but its okay to have some ambition as well.

One word. Castleford.

I don't know if they do anymore due to the pandemic but if they do it wouldn't be hard for heartland fans to get down there cos Eastern Airways certainly used to (as I say don't know if they still do) fly from Leeds to Newquay.

Just had myself a great double bill. Raiders of the Lost Ark & The Italian Job, both absolute classics!

I'm a bit late to these threads about Cornwall, was too busy watching an Italian Job/Raiders of the Lost Ark double bill! Well, good luck to Cornwall RLFC then. I agree with the OP I think, we haven't lost anything if it doesn't work out and if it does then that's nothing but fantastic for the sport!

Seabrooks are the masters of crisps, no question, just a shame the packs are so small. I don't buy them too often cos if I do buy a 6 pack I tend to eat the entire thing in one sitting.

Personally I think the best way to enter North Korea is by surfboard.

Right so I've watched the first two episodes of The Outlaws. Brilliant. Really, really enjoyed it and just peed off that the rest of it isn't on iplayer yet or I'd just binge the whole thing tonight. Not what I thought it was going to be which is a good thing. From the ads I thought it was just gonna be another run of the mill BBC sitcom. No, this is actually more of a crime drama with a bit of humour thrown into the mix. Very well written, so engaging, really draws you in and I think it's the characters that do this. Each character is incredibly unique, each got their own quirks and very distinct personalities. The show slowly feeds you little snippets of their back stories which is just leaving you desperate to know more. The lead girl in it is particularly good I think, plays a great role as a shy, nerdy girl that is just thrown into this world that is so alien to her, making you sympathise with her a great deal. As I said earlier in the thread, the thing that made me curious about this show was the presence of Christopher Walken. I have huge respect for him and the writers for just taking an equal role with the other main actors and not being made the star and put front and centre which the writers could have so easily done. He is clearly comfortable not being the centre of attention and playing a much more subtle and quiet role than I certainly expected, although with the way the second episode went, he may become a bit more important as it goes on. I really recommend this show if you haven't already started watching it yourself.

I remember a few years back a mobility scooter got nicked from outside the M&S in Beverley by some Hull chav. It's what the more inept criminals of Hull do, go to more prosperous, neighbouring towns and steal bikes, for some reason this piece of sh*t stole a mobility scooter. Anyway, when the old bloke who owned it came out and saw it missing he called the police. The scumbag was caught only about half an hour or so after he nicked the thing because he was riding it the 8 miles back to Hull down the main A-road that connects the two places and as a result he was causing an enormous tailback and traffic jam on the carriageway going back into Hull. Can't imagine it was the most difficult t-pack to perform.

I'm not on twitter but everytime you post something from this account I find myself spending the next hour just looking down its feed laughing my head off!

Highlighted two points there. Trying to make Silva part of Spectre is one of the worst things ever attempted in Bond, that one little mistake completely ruined the Craig era, tbh trying to link all the Craig films was a bad mistake to start with, along with the abandonment of the Quantum idea in favour of unnecessarily bringing back Spectre, no need to do that, Quantum was developing fine. And making Blofeld Bond's brother? Oh no! Absolute blasphemy that was to a hardcore Bond fan..! Your last paragraph there is pretty much the opinion of most of us obsessives and quite frankly I hope to God they do go back down the root of standalone, simple films. A megalomaniac wants to take over the world, Bond walks into M's office, gets an assignment to stop the nutter, goes to an exotic location, meets a halfwit but attractive woman, investigates the nutcase, stops the nutcase, credits roll. Let's stop all this experimenting that just has not worked and start making some traditional Bond films again!

What bike were you riding?

I saw enough of that show just from the 30 second trailer on tv. Looks absolutely rubbish.

They could make a 10 part series with all the material in the books.

No need to take it out on the customer though. I don't particularly enjoy my job but I'm pleasant to the client.

Very annoyed this morning. After finishing my early morning shift I went in the shop just along from my work to get something for lunch. I end up getting a few other bits as well so needed a bag when I got to the till. At the till, the shop assistant asks if I need a bag and I say I do. She is wearing a face mask and mumbles something about a bag for life and 20p. I do not hear the whole of what she has said due to the mask, her mumbling, the loud music playing in the shop and the general noise from other customers, but rightly figure she asked me what kind of bag I want and of course I haven't heard all the pricings of the different options, so fed up and just wanting to get out of there and go home after my shift, I say, "whichever is cheapest". The woman looks at me like I am completely stupid, laughs in my face and says in an incredibly condescending tone, "well 20p is less than £1". I answer immediately with, "well sorry but I didn't here what you said" to which she just rolls her eyes and begins the worst packing of a bag I have ever seen. I then say I will be paying with my card. A few moments pass and she, again almost mocking me, tells me to tap my card on the machine and I'm stood there thinking, I didn't even see her press any buttons to activate the machine and in most shops they tell you when you can do it but she just stood there before basically having a go at me. Whatever happened to shop assistants being nice and wanting to provide a service to their customers that will leave them happy and contented to return to the shop? It seems like every shop assistant I get these days is rude and/or miserable.

Fair enough, the Christopher Walken connection might encourage me to try it out at least.

I've just seen an advert for an upcoming BBC comedy which appears to be about youths doing community service in Bristol. What struck me the most about it though is Christopher Walken appears to be one of the leads in it. Has he got nothing better to do than random BBC comedies?