The Hallucinating Goose

I've just been banned from B&Q. Some bloke asked me if I wanted decking, luckily I got the first punch in.

Fawlty Towers is coming back.

I first saw this on blu-ray, also with zero pre-knowledge. There are no words to describe what I experienced.

Was the horse Turkish as well?

Finally managed to get back to some non-league football this afternoon after a month of postponements. A spirited performance from the Beavers who didn't really do a lot wrong but the Zebras just had a bit too much pace and awareness up front. Bev's 6 game unbeaten run in the league unfortunately ended. Beverley Town 3-5 Brigg Town Att: 265

Very interesting, I'll definitely look into communist football more. I think my mate is from a small town just outside Gelschenkirchen and just lives in Essen now for work so we'll forgive him! He last came over here for a visit in 2017 and we did a long trip around Yorkshire. I remember when we went to Bradford to visit the film museum, we were sat outside there talking about football and he said, and I quote, "Bradford reminds me of Gelschenkirchen". No I don't really know what that means either, just take from that what you will!

What's even more interesting is Bayern weren't even runners up in the league before Bundesliga. They had literally just won that one title in 1932 (I think?). I've been to see a few teams around Germany. My favourite country in the world after our great land and I've spent a lot of time travelling round it. I've got a friend who lives in Essen as well and he's a bit Schalke fan so I've had the opportunity to go see them a couple of times. Let me know if that book has got a big section on East German football and if it has, what the book is. East Geman history fascinates me and I've never read too much about its football.

Your point??

Yeah only 1 league title for Bayern before Bundesliga and then you get teams such as Nuremburg who've won 9 titles but only 1 since the Bundesliga came about and Schalke who've won 7 titles but none in the current era.

I've got the tissues ready.

Six teams have won the Bundesliga in the past 25 years. You picked a good time period actually because 25 years ago, in 1998, Kaiserslauturn won the league. We've also seen Bayern, Werder Bremen, Dortmund, Wolfsburg and Stuttgart crowned champions since then. Granted Bayern have won the last 10 in a row and will probably win it this year as well. And there's been five champions of Portugal. The big three with Benfica, Porto and Sporting, and a championship each for Belenenses and indeed Boavista.

That's it, I've officially retired from being nice to people. It was a good career of being a decent person but now I'm going in a change of direction and taking up a career in being a knob head. I've arrived in work this morning to find that the quoted problem and subsequent good deed I did has not been dealt with. The damaged item of clothing is still on sale. The most annoying thing about it though is that someone has clearly looked at it because an undamaged item of clothing has been placed over the top of it. I'm getting fed up with this contract. I got told off once for being too friendly to someone just because I said it was nice to see them after a week of not seeing them in the height of covid. I normally saw them everyday and suddenly they disappeared for a week in the height of one of the worst pandemics in human history. Apparently that's flirting these days! Now I try doing a good deed and mentioning something that makes their shop look bad but they don't give a toss and I've also recently had my hours cut so I'm not particularly happy with this place recently!!

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Anyone know any entertaining YouTube channels based around the world of non-league football that you recommend I have a watch of? Maybe a bit of a football/travel type thing?

I wouldn't mind a look myself but I don't think she's coming trundling up the Humber anytime soon. Where's she gonna be beached up for you to go for a gander?

It didn't do too badly actually! It did get me though that an American squadron of 10 F35s were on board for the mission which meant there was actually more American jets than British ones as we only had 8 on board!

Just a little moan. I'm working a contract in a clothing shop at the moment and as I was going about my business I noticed some damage to an item of clothing; a big slash mark on the front, presumably caused when they cut open the box it was delivered in. I thought, I'll just be nice and let them know about that because they won't want to be selling damaged stock. Went and knocked on the managers office door and said, "just thought I should let you know, I noticed some damaged stock on the shop floor". I described the item and they replied, "that's fine, I'll have a look" and promptly closed the door in my face. They have yet to go have a look. I don't know why I bother being nice sometimes...

Watched the first two episodes of the beebs new documentary series, 'Warship', tonight which follows the HMS Queen Elizabeth on her first active operations. Very interesting series, had me really gripped. Really enjoyed it and highly recommend to anyone with the slightest interest in the military.

Funnily enough I came on this thread to post a restaurant based joke. ------ A mucky, bedraggled and generally rundown man is sat in a restaurant and sees a beautiful woman sat on her own. She's the most beautiful woman he's ever seen so he calls the waiter over and asks for a bottle of champagne to be delivered to the woman. The waiter takes the bottle over and when the woman looks over at the man he offers her the most charming smile she's ever seen. She takes a pen out of her bag and writes on a napkin, 'thank you for the champagne but in order for me to accept it you have to have a Mercedes in your garage, the keys to a mansion in your pocket, millions in your bank account and 7 inches in your trousers'. The waiter takes the message to the man. He reads it and writes a reply which the waiter promptly delivers to the woman. She opens the napkin and reads what the man has written, "remember that most people are not initially what they appear to be. I may look in a rough state but I actually have a ferrari, a lamborghini, a porsche and an Aston in multiple garages across multiple mansions in Paris, London, the Mediterranean and the Caribbean, and I have billions in the bank not just millions but nothing would make me cut 3 inches off for anyone no matter how beautiful they are. Just send back the champagne!"

Two big plastic boxes full to the brim with Hull shirts. And lots of dust.

Here's one for all you motor heads out there. On this day in 1896, Walter Arnold of East Peckham, Kent, became the first person in history to be convicted of speeding. He was fined 1 shilling plus costs for travelling at 8mph in a 2mph zone.

I've just found out there is a 5th book in the Kingsbridge series being released this year. Set at the end of the 18th century it moves the story of Kingsbridge on another 200 years and includes themes to do with the early years of the industrial revolution and the rise of Napoleon. The novel is called, 'The Armour of Light'. Details here: https://ken-follett.com/books/the-armour-of-light/

I finished 'The Evening and the Morning' tonight. I absolutely loved it! I'm not a quick reader usually and am rather astounded I finished a 900 page book in just over two weeks. This should highlight how much I enjoyed this first volume in the series. Tomorrow I start with 'The Pillars of the Earth' and I can hardly wait!

I know there's just the odd person on here that likes a drink so I thought I would share a bit of trivia that might come in handy for a pub quiz. In 1933, the Gottfried Krueger Brewing Company of New Jersey, USA began producing the first canned beer. Due to the risk of canning pressurised beverages, the American Can Company installed the equipment to manufacture it for free and they did an initial run of just 2,000 cans of what they called Krueger's Special Beer, which they sold to employees and their families. Due to an overwhelmingly positive response, canned beer went into full production and on this day in 1935 went on sale to the general public. And the rest is history.

Let me pose a seemingly strange question; Who wins in a battle between cavalry and naval warships? On this day in 1795, French Hussars achieved the extroadinary feat of charging across the frozen Zuiderzee and capturing a fleet of 14 Dutch ships and 850 guns frozen at anchor in Den Helder, Holland. It is the most well known example of the very rare occurance in history of cavalry going up against warships, and indeed winning the day.