“I want to show people that you can be in a dark space and come back. You can have mental illness and live with it.”
Former Hull FC and Salford forward Jansin Turgut shocked the Rugby League community when he attempted suicide in 2019. He recently spoke to Rugby League World magazine about his determination to rebuild his life and his career and return to Super League.
“If I played one game at amateur level that would be huge, but I don’t want to do that. I want to get to the top again.”
There is something extremely compelling and undeniably uplifting about the determination of Jansin Turgut. Having found himself in a truly dark place three years ago, the former Hull FC and Salford forward is back to start the Rugby League life cycle once again, at his old amateur club West Hull.
But this is not the end of his professional career. Just a rebirth. One that seemed a distant possibility three years ago, having attempted to take his own life and falling three storeys from a car park, following a battle with mental health.
He fractured his spine, broke his pelvis, both legs and knees and had facial reconstruction after breaking every breaking every bone in his face.
“I remember being told in that hospital bed,” he tells Rugby League World. “Asking my mum if could ever play again.
“She told me the doctors said I might only walk again and I’d struggle to get up and down the stairs.
“I remember telling people that I will return to the sport and I must have sounded deluded under the medication I’d been taking.”
But, since then, his determination to return has not been fractured. His ambition to get back to health has remained unbroken, as he aims to reconstruct his career in the sport. Having been told he may never fully walk again, today he walks forward with a renewed vigour.
“It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when,” said the 25-year-old. “People probably wouldn’t believe my ambition, and when I do come back it’s going to be a big shock to people.
“I want to show people that you can be in a dark space and come back. You can have mental illness and live with it.
“I’m working as hard as I can, and I know that it’s going to help people that are suffering from mental illnesses.”
It was the support that his old club, West Hull, gave him that reinvigorated Turgut’s love for the sport. In June 2020, they reached out and offered him a coaching role, a sentiment followed by his national side Turkey two months later.
With no plans to return to Rugby League at the time, he took the offer with initial trepidation. The professional game had dampened Turgut’s passion for the sport, but the familiarity of the grassroots game freshened his outlook.
“When they asked me at first, I was anxious,” he added. “I’d fallen out of love with the sport. We won the National Conference League Shield last year and that was big for me to a part of. I found my love again. The coaches down here deserve all the credit I can give them.
“I was hesitant to accept but I can’t thank them enough. This is the right place for me to start again. The fitter and stronger I got, I was approached by other clubs, I’ve had three offers from semi-professional clubs and I’ve gone down and done medicals but I’ve decided to come back with West Hull and give back to their support. I want to enjoy rugby again and if the time is right, I’m going to be patient and see what happens.
“I will play in Super League and it won’t be a coincidence either. I was at the top of the game before and it’s taken my twice the effort to rebuild my body. It took a lot to make the decision to do what I do and to lose everything, the journey back has been difficult.
“Being a full-time Super League player is amazing but the reality is that it is a job. It’s not your whole life, it’s a small part of your day. When you go home, if your life away from the game isn’t great it’s hard.
“Sometimes you do force yourself to go to training and that has an impact on your mental health. It’s not all sunshine and roses. You have to pick yourself up and it sounds mad saying that, but until you’re in that position it’s hard to know what it’s like.”
His empathy to others is probably born the from the waves of empathy people showed him, during his time in hospital. A GoFundMe Page raised £5,000 to support for hospital costs, with a host of other fundraisers in his name.
Boxer Tyson Fury, one of Turgut’s own sporting heroes, offered a video of support. Boxing has also offered Turgut a springboard to return to fitness, having trained at Vulcan Boxing in Hull, as he aims to replicate Fury’s journey and give back to those who supported him.
“He was about 25/30 stone and was depressed,” Turgut said. “I’ve abused drink and drugs as well, like he has. He came back to become Heavyweight Champion of the World. I want to replicate that in Rugby League. A small setback for a big comeback with the goals being a story to help inspire anyone out there who’s struggling.
“I’ve been boxing myself to keep fit and it’s a sport I’ve always enjoyed and it’s helped to get my hunger and fitness back.
“I’ve helped out with Andy’s Man Club and I was going there to get my mental health back up and I did a little bit of help there.
“I did a bit of help with the homeless, as well, after realising how much support goes a long way when you need it. When I needed it from the Rugby League community it was there in abundance.
I never expected it and I was so appreciative and grateful to every single person that helped and even to people who just shared the post. I’d like to give back now. It was great to see and it was extremely overwhelming.”
Of course, there are a group of people he wants to give back to most. Beyond his former amateur club, sporting heroes and those who supported him. The people who matter most.
“My family are my rock and the support has been amazing,” Turgut adds. “When I did need the support from my family they were there for me.
“I want to do them proud and come back playing again. I want to get playing for Turkey again, as well, to grow the sport in the country my father is from. I’ve already said I want to be back fit and playing for them.”
First published in Rugby League World, Issue 469 (Feb 2022) – Rugby League World is published every month on sunscription by League Publications Ltd. Click here to order the print or digital edition.
