Futtocks

Huge News! (for fans of a very specific era of radio comedy) https://www.comedy.co.uk/radio/news/7981/struck-off-and-die-back-on-radio-4/

McIlorum to Hull KR!

My woofers looked like they needed some exercise, so...

If you want to be downcast, you can always find a reason. For me, less than a week ago, I was on the edge of my seat as the men and women of Wigan and St Helens fought out two close, tense Derby thrillers. Both Hull FC and Huddersfield made their conquerors work a damn sight harder than anyone expected. There are some good match-ups in the offing this coming weekend too.

If that's a corpse, why is it trying to bite itself?

They left it late, but job done for the Blues.

He parted the Red-ish Sea!

The Blues have got a roll on - Moses try!

He was.

Handbags!

Big Sam is poised by the phone on the doily on the occasional table in his hallway, waiting...

There will be loud calls for a badge-kissing "pride an' passion" type to supplant Southgate. That will, as usual, take us backwards, but temporarily sate the red-tops' jingoistic blood lust.

A good effort, that made a better opposition side work really hard. Not a brilliant spectacle, but Football finals rarely are. The difference being that their fans don't see an ordinary game as the end of the world.

In my mind, it is the sort of game played by the stuffier characters in Saki short stories, which is why I probably took agin it.

Despite coming from a family that played a load of games (not having a TV for several years), from Beggar-my-Neighbour to Rat Race, to Cribbage, to Mah-Jongg, to Blackjack (both games of that name) and Stramash, there are two major parlour games I never learned and those are Bridge and Backgammon (even though we had a board for the latter). All I know is that it is played by two teams of two, and that there are two main versions of the game.

£4.99 pcm.

I get to do the Telegraph crosswords when I'm visiting my dad. They're still good, including the big GK ones, which are a proper test. As for the Times, after some writers I liked to read left, I attempted to cancel but was offered a "special" rock-bottom sub, which allows you to read (but not comment on) articles and also gives you access to their puzzles section. So that's what I am on at the moment.

Just finished watching it on catch-up. How embarrassing!

Especially the Telegraph, after you've read your first issue and realised how low a once respectable broadsheet has plummeted and need to cancel urgently before the second day's edition assaults your intelligence.

Wow, very wrong. Not just winning, but nilling the Devils.

Remember when Savelio looked like a budding superstar of the game? A red card, which (along with the fact that the tackled player was falling) may mitigate what the disciplinary panel dish out on top of the sending-off. Huddersfield down to 14 players now.

Bin time for Chris Hill and Emile Zola.

Of course, just as I post that, the referee actually does make a harsh (and incorrect) call. But that genuinely was a one-off, not a trend.

Try for Connor, but he misses a relatively easy conversion. Still a 2-point game, but in the other direction.