Mister Ting

And just short of her Century.

I thought he had died.

You're obviously not Napoleon Solo, Illya Kuryakin or even Mr Waverly. Therefore, Thrush wouldn't touch you.

I know you hate speculation, only the facts, so I won't bother you with my beans.

Plans are afoot to divert the upper River Calder through Craig Whittakers urinary system.

I couldn't, I'm too embarrassed.

I dunno where to start, so I won't.

I'm taller than my brother, but he has longer legs.

And "where's the atmosphere?"

Sorry to lower the tone. Billy Swan - I can help. Not exactly listening to it, just can't get it out of my bonce.

Or perhaps a degree of common sense when using VAR?

Many years ago I thought Ronnie Hilton had died, long before his time. I do have moments when I think I've slipped into a parrallel universe.

Not a 'wor' in earshot. If you're going to do impressions, try and get somewhere close to the accent.

I presume that came after the.... no I won't say.

It's what I've been sayin' all along Clive.

That's sad. RIP I used to think Joe Lydon looked like a younger Eric Hughes.

Pretty good with the Lute too.

Could Messi handle living anywhere near Leeds?

This is a club that didn't go after Sean Dyche when they last had a chance. Yeah but he can only coach a certain way.

Werder should be near the top, not struggling.

So sorry to hear about that Gazza. Best wishes to you and your family.

Sorry to learn about Lounge Room Lizard.

People who watch s##t programmes with 'false Geordies' then having a whinge about it. What do you expect??

Sorry to cramp Saarbrucken's style, but aren't Cologne in Bundesliga 2? I just noticed they aren't, they're in League 3.

I once dreamt we had a local baseball team, just next to Cragg Road for those who know. Why? I have no idea. I've never had much of an interest in the sport.