DI Keith Fowler

That's pretty good, a vast improvement on the dandruff inspired home shirt.

Oh did he get back you you? I've darkened his inbox a few times he's been very good for getting back typically.

Well aren't you Mr La-de-dah with your books and your friends and your friends who deal in books.

I could conceive of him retiring and moving into coaching. This move is slightly out the blue though, being in a wide ranging, non-hands on professional role. I mean the last time I saw him behind a desk it was year 9 history and he got sent to isolation because he wouldn't stop farting.

Get on the langoustines, they're like sweet little lobsters and are excellent in this country.

Excellent stuff. Great array of club badges as well. Left to right we've got Oxted with a big football in the middle, which I always find very funny for a football club to use. Eastbourne, Balcombe and Ringmer (partially shown I had to look it up) also guilty. Eastbourne it's giving Vauxhall logo vibes, Balcombe reminds me of silent film. Reigate it's fine, they didn't get the circle/oval memo and went for a shield, it's boring but they're owning it. I'd moderate the gold to a yellow you've won nothing of note. Ringmer is an absolute disgrace of a badge it's got nothing of the place it's a few colours and a literal football. Westfield is very Panathinaikos via Oak Furniture Land. I like it. Lindfield I really like, a lot of character, I'd like if they had a bit more back story than "we're on a river with swans" but even then it's probably the pick of the bunch.

Could be a goer. Seeing England running out sponsored by John Smith's Nowt.

Jiminy jillikers Bratman.

Not on that. Hopefully an older, more experienced ballboy had a quiet word with them later on over a pint at Big Fellas nightclub.

Plus I imagine they'll have foreseen this and will have some extra features and maybe longer form pieces that will do just enough to stop people going through the hassle of cancelling. If they had one or two interesting behind the scenes films or historical documentaries about the game in the off season I would just keep it rolling. Just give Tony Collins a camera crew for a few days and ask him to knock out a few half hour bits, could even just be filmed versions of his podcasts. Maybe Anthony Broxton wants to do something too?

My takeaway from this is that the Mail's online readership can't read fast and/or leave lots of tabs open. Also they dwell a lot much like trolls do under bridges.

If you're not careful they'll be calling you Johnny Rotten teeth.

Ahh you're on the naughty list then.

Bit of a hammer blow to lose the Chairman at the start of the season.

It's times like this you realise how much mental energy you put into posting. Without here as an outlet imagine the works we all completed over the weekend in other aspects of our lives. 48 hours off here and I was able to move a glass of water across the table with just the power of my mind. Thanks to John et al as always for huge efforts they put in to keep this thing going!

Were Fev also responsible for paying the server hosting bill?

I bet you walk into O'Neills chain pubs and say, "it's giving me real kitwear manufacturer vibes". Sit down and drink your Guinness with the clover on the top and stop being obtuse.

I think it's between Widnes and Bradford in terms of low hanging fruit. On the Widnes side for about £600k you could probably buy the club and also clear the historical debts to the council. From there you're in a strong position to renegotiate the tenancy agreement, potentially looking towards a full lease of the stadium and running of the operation. If I know one thing about Halton Borough Council it's that they don't like anything that's a bit of effort, they might be keen to have it off their plate for a fixed return. I'm of the opinion the stadium is under utilised, the former social club is now council offices, they can go and and the room could return to being a club that's open 7 days a week* showing sport and a basic food offering. I'd imagine for a very low cost the club could rent the bowling green next door during the summer months and have that as a fanzone with a basic outdoor bar, the portable stage & PA system from the West stand and a couple of large screens. There's a food market up near the cemetery if you got onto a few of the vendors there they might be tempted to decamp down the road for an afternoon so you'll have a few options. The current fanzone is a step in the right direction but it's hard to convince people to sit under artificial lights in a basement when it's sunny outside. *The added benefit being that draught beer could be sold on the concourses on match days again, the stated reason for using plastic bottles is if they were left with a half keg it could go off before the next match because they had nowhere else to sell it. I'd be reaching out to Liverpool and Everton womens teams with regards to a return to the stadium which will be on the proviso the artificial pitch goes*. WSL is a much bigger commercial proposition than when they left and I'd imagine the money they'd pay would far outstrip the amount the pitch is currently rented out on weekday evenings for 6-a-side or whatever and would pay back the costs of the works within a few seasons. We'd probably need to get LED pitch side advertisements for them but that's an IMG point anyway so win-win. I'd float with either of them the idea of having more of a stadium presence in terms of their branding/seat colours in one of the stands and building it up as a proper "home" for the team rather than a pitch they rent. Women's football is only getting bigger and it could all be passive income for the club. *Another added benefit would be that a return to a grass pitch will aid recruitment. Whether artificial pitches actually cause more injuries is up for debate but it's certainly something the players believe, and we've had a number who have been put off joining by having to play on it every other week. On the pitch, it really wouldn't take an awful lot of money to get the club as a regular top 4 team in the Championship and crowds would naturally follow to the 3.5k level again. Then it's a case of maximising revenue from that crowd and sensibly re-investing in the team over a number of seasons. I don't think there's a requirement to having a league winning team tomorrow but there needs to be season on season progression otherwise people will get disillusioned again.

"I'm hearing that Ronnie Milf, who made his money in the European adult film market, is interested in buying the Bulls. Spotted at Odsal earlier today, he has £10 million in his pocket or he might be just pleased to see us."

This is definitely going to end in Mick Gledhill posting on his twitter that he's heard Bradford have a new investor looking to pump in £10 million.

I assume you're confirming that's the snobby view rather than your view clarified?

Whatever they do I hope they knock down hotel football in the process. Ugliest, cheapest building I've ever had the misfortune of visiting. Even if they decide to move 2 miles away I'd still be after blowing it to smithereens.

How's that taken Johnny, do you eat it or are we talking a death by mau mau situation?

Just an insane idea. On what planet are players going to start playing more minutes a calendar year in the current climate?