Bearman

"Some people are on the pitch!"

Gane on?

Enjoyed that tribute tonight.

Could this be the lowest turn out in any UK election?

Robbery

Antidote an Imodium swallowed by a can of Red Bull?

We should use the same rules as netball. That would be fair.

Want to be a millionaire by this time next year? Simply open a bank account and deposit £20,000 every week and next year you will be living the high life.

I thought I might impart of some handy tips that I have learnt in all of my forty years on this planet. With summer coming don't buy expensive aerosols to kill flies. Simply take two pieces of wood ( a couple of 12" rules will do) place the fly at one end of one them and zap it with the other. Jobs a gud 'un. Anyone else got helpful hints?

I fancied cheese on toast for my lunch. Rather than faffing about under the grill I put the bread in the toaster. Then added the cheese and stuck the lot into the microwave for 30 seconds. I thought the bread would be soggy but it worked a treat.

49?. 46 years in the EU...... mmmmmmmm is this a coincidence?

Well it looks like nobody has kicked the bucket whilst we have been away. So that's one positive with the breakdown

I was going to cancel my dependency councillor subscription, but it looks like I will still need the therapy sessions.

Option 4.... Irexit (as likely as unification within a generation)

As John Glenn said and 32 years in my experience in aerospace have taught me, every piece part in every aircraft is there because it was the cheaper option