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Don’t know if this will pass the moderators but here goes. A father walks by his son’s bedroom and sees the lad playing with himself. Concerned, the father goes into the bedroom and says ‘Son, if you keep doing that you will go blind’. The son replies ‘Dad, I am over here!’

Duties ( and not withstanding that my sheer love for the Community Game would have got me here anyway ) took me today to Featherstone's Millennium Stadium for the NCL triple header Finals. The best on offer at Tier 4. What an enjoyable day ! I'm told that Kells set off before 6 am ( their choice on the scheduling - but with stop-over more than hearty breakfast included ) . Wath Brow followed an hour or so later. Coach Rooney as always in command. Take note - Game preparation has never been confined just to SL alone ! At Fev solid partisan but always respectful crowd for the 6 clubs. 2361 paying spectators declared for the day. Our League Internet cover figures not yet available. Featherstone no doubt made a fortune over the bar. I know this 'cos I was sat with more than a few club committee men watching the tills and the queues..... As for the games themselves I can't praise the various participants any higher.. All the lads on the park did absolutely everything they could. Respect and congratulations. But what do I really take comfort out of today ? Not the NCL - it will again remain the Beacon for the game where it really counts. But today Ben Thaler and Liam Moore were in the gallery looking at the refs for the future. Just like the rest of us they are doing their job.... But looking to maybe even next year - get better before any immediate transfer to pro level... For our today games two teenagers officiated from the spot . And stood out really well. An 18 year old in the last match today but over a full season's effort was declared NCL ref of the year. Long path yet to travel no doubt but perhaps are we looking at our first BAME senior official ?

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8264883-oderint-dum-metuant-let-them-hate-me-as-long-as

Angus Crichton has reportedly agreed to a two-year extension with the Roosters, putting to bed any concern that he may switch to rugby union ahead of the 2023 World Cup.

4 mates were coming up to their 40th Birthdays. They decided to celebrate with a drink and a meal. They chose Weatherspoons in Uttoxeter because it had cheap beer, ok food and the bar maids were easy on the eye. Fast forward 10 years to their 50th and they decided to do it again. They chose Weatherspoons in Uttoxeter because it had cheap beer, ok food and there was easy parking. Fast forward to their 60th and they chose Weatherspoons in Uttoxeter because it had cheap beer, ok food, parking and there was no music. Fast forward to their 70th and they chose Weatherspoons in Uttoxeter because it had cheap beer, ok food, easy parking, no music and there was a lift to the toilets. Another 10 years go by and they are coming up to the big 80. They chose the Weatherspoons in Uttoxeter because they had never been there before. ( pendants please note I know Weatherspoons hasn't been going that long)

At long last our area TV mast has been fixed and we can get all our channels after months. Was able to watch Talking TV again, a real corny film called the Lady on the Pier... but was good to watch the old street scenes and Brighton Pier... with some of the old corny entertainment that use to always be on our Piers...

Doesn't really work that does it cos Borcestershire would be pronounced Buster-shuh not booster. Americans thinking they're being funny even though its basically just stereotyping and xenophobia which I personally find quite offensive, especially when it's coming from an American. Not content with brainwashing their own people into believing they are the greatest country in the world, they have to put down other countries as well... Egotistical a**eholes...

David Amess MP