rugby league top tips - viz style

[graveyard johnny]

convince friends and neighbours that you are a top nrl coach by simply sitting in your front bay window with an open laptop and 12 plastic bottles of water lined up in front of you- to make it even more convincing get a friend to sit next to you with a concerned serious expression on his face and getting them to look round at you with their arms folded every 20 minutes

[graveyard johnny]

rugby league teams- win every match by simply treating all the 80 mins as if there are 50 seconds to go and you are down by a single point - passes of 27 in a row or more usually lead to a try

[graveyard johnny]

instead of doing  long concussion  tests and holding up play on the pitch - KIT MEN  simply ask the player if he remembers making that cheeky comment to your wife or borrowing that 20 quid off you on the xmas do last year- if he says no then drag him off 

[Futtocks]

1 hour ago, graveyard johnny said:

convince friends and neighbours that you are a top nrl coach by simply sitting in your front bay window with an open laptop and 12 plastic bottles of water lined up in front of you- to make it even more convincing get a friend to sit next to you with a concerned serious expression on his face and getting them to look round at you with their arms folded every 20 minutes

Remember also to violently kick a chair or throw one of the bottles for very little reason.

[RP London]

pretend to be a Video ref - watch the same very obvious footage keep calling for "a different angle" and "slow it down there, speed it back up, slow it down, back a bit".. then shout with unexpected glee "i've got a deicision" before closing both eyes and randomly pressing one of the buttons to give said "decision" 

[graveyard johnny]

convince friends and family that you are a member of the royal family by patronising a sport you neither attend or know nothing about, simply get out of the back of your car at belle vue and shake hands with random members of the public 

[Futtocks]

Convince friends and family that you have become a Rugby League fan by criticising anything and everything in the entire universe.

[DavidM]

4 minutes ago, Futtocks said:

Remember also to violently kick a chair or throw one of the bottles for very little reason.

Get up walk around in a circle while mouthing expletives then sit down again and point violently out of the window

[RP London]

convince friends and family you could be a Rugby League administrator:- do as little as humanly possibly, cash your cheque.. come up with a whole new league system, then come up with another one and change the first one just as its starting to settle.. 

[RP London]

Be the Head of Merchandise:- Mug? nah

[Futtocks]

Save yourself the time and eyestrain of trying to identify forward passes from a non-optimal camera angle simply by declaring that they are all forward, except when thrown by the team you want to win. And you don't need to bother with exact measurements either with this method, because they are all forward by exactly 5,280 feet.

[Futtocks]

Show your combined merchandising and IT wizardry by setting up an online store with a great selection of RL-themed mugs for sale... then blocking just one fan's IP address.

[RP London]

Be head of PR at any expansion club: make up crowd figure and submit it to the press... its what most "fans" will think you've done anyway!

[DavidM]

Practice being a summariser by saying every single player in a game you’re watching is quality , doubly so after they’ve made an error 

[Futtocks]

Fool people into thinking you are a WW2 U-Boat captain by playing 154 games for Wigan.

[graveyard johnny]

ok

[graveyard johnny]

confuse motorway users by sitting on an exercise bike on the hard shoulder -to give the impression you are itching to get back in to action of a local derby been played out on lane one of the opposite carriageway

[Man of Kent]

Women - Convince neighbours that you are a top class dominatrix by shouting ‘Held!’, ‘Dominant!’, ‘Surrender!’, and ‘Moooooove!’ at night.

[Hela Wigmen]

Diagnosed with Bipolar? Come and be the head of The RFL. 

[barnyia]

Make people think you're taking over the rfl  by setting up a European rl competition from you're computer  using just spreadsheets and the 1992 European football manager game as a template, then ensure the comp is  made up solely of amateur teams and then sign an ex  nrl player for the your Spanish team even though there's no money or backing for the comp.  

[Clogiron]

Draw the names of some long retired Union player's out of a hat, bung 'em some beer money to play along then announce to all and sundry that your club has signed them for next season.

[RP London]

15 minutes ago, barnyia said:

Make people think you're taking over the rfl  by setting up a European rl competition from you're computer  using just spreadsheets and the 1992 European football manager game as a template, then ensure the comp is  made up solely of amateur teams and then sign an ex  nrl player for the your Spanish team even though there's no money or backing for the comp.  

become global leader of a sporting organisation by doing fundamentally the same as the above and setting up a website with the word "World" before the name of the sport... 

[Manx RL]

Set up a team as far away from the competitions traditional base as possible with a catchy name and flash logo.Then blame a global pandemic for its failure to compete. 

[graveyard johnny]

south sydney  players slash the teams handling error count by simply not passing the ball to tom burgess

[Futtocks]

Enjoy the thrill of being a Rugby League player by walking up behind anybody who is about to stand up and pointing either left or right.