hindle xiii

Whilst driving home I came up with a bit of a simile or metaphor to explain: I liken it to a deeply religious person, who spent their whole life a certain way, then finding atheism. It'd be confusing, it'd be worrying to realise that not just what they thought was wrong but how they thought was wrong. A scrambled brain full of doubt left to figure out what now without any direction.

This is why I'm doing Veganuary (and Dry January) at the moment. I've never been one for fad/named diets, but for some reason labelling this challenge is working at the moment. I'm not eating xyz because of its ingredients rather than its reputation. Perhaps it's still early days and it's still a novelty.

The Chimp Paradox - Prof Steve Peters.

It took me many weeks last summer to be able to do what some may consider one full press up. I should have kept it going, but I didn't and I haven't tried since. I used knee press ups and my garden wall which due to a sloping drive went lower down.

Whenever I read or listen to the problems of others I'm reminded that my issues are small. My life is small and simple; I have a job, a house, a family* and they're all ok. Just ok. I have one good friend, whom I think about too much, and I constantly have to remind myself she has her own life. I'm lonely, I've no partner or love life. I don't understand myself. I don't value myself. I don't understand what benefits there are to thinking the way I do. I'm supposed to be my own friend yet I can't stand myself. *(not a family I've started, parents, sibling, pet)

I ###### hate being obese.

I'm glad I read this topic.

Who are Toulouse playing in try no. 5? Because that is laughable "defending".

I have also begun weighing myself every morning again since New Years Day. I did it for a time during last year and it can help, I think. I take an average for the week and subtract it from the average of the previous week for a +/- difference. At work we have begun a competition to lose the most % weight. I have joined but I don't want to know those numbers each week because my biggest problem is chasing numbers. Although I have hidden away from there recently I can recommend Man v Fat forum https://talk.manvfat.com/ One important factor is to find something sustainable. And stay hydrated. Share your ideas, your tips, your successes and your set-backs. It's easy to avoid the accountability, I know I did.

This is not a rant more a disappointment. I'm back on TotalRL with little to report. Not a lot has changed on my part. I didn't find anything to replace the past-time of rugby. Never mind. I hope all is well and feel free to direct message me if there's anything I need to know.

I'm giving Veganuary a go at the moment. It's mainly to think a little bit more about what I eat. If I don't buy sausages and bacon then I can't eat the whole packet of sausages and bacon for breakfast. However, I am eating lots of peanut butter on toast and chip butties to make sure I don't actually lose any weight.

So will I.

What have I missed?

Happy New Year.

Take care everyone, see you in 2019.