Futtocks Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 In other literary news, Basketball legend and 'Airplane' co-pilot Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has written a book about Sherlock Holmes' brother Mycroft. People who make fake news headlines up for fun are considering retirement. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuffer Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 This excerpt from Morrissey's book should be a front-runner for the TLS 'Bad Sex in Literature' award: “Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.” Eeeewwwww.......that's enough to put you right off your stroke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 (edited) Eeeewwwww.......that's enough to put you right off your stroke Exactly - that and #piggate in the same week - in nine months' time, there will be a short but significant dip in the human race's birthrate and future historians will wonder why... Edited September 24, 2015 by Futtocks "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeds Wire Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Me neither. I enjoyed that review though. http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2015/09/24/morrisseys-facebook-feed-today/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2015/09/24/morrisseys-facebook-feed-today/ Very good! "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 Just finished Walter Miller's A Canticle for Liebowitz, and although the third part is less coherent that the first two, it's a good read. Now, there's a Laurie Lee three-fer available on Kindle, including 'Cider with Rosie' as the first volume. I'm a chapter or two into it at the moment. The sensual overload in the first three pages has already eclipsed the dry, award-seeking worthiness of the entire BBC adaptation. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaverickX111 Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 What's a kindle Boom Just read shantaram in paperback Fabulous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 'Bad Book Club' by comedian and broadcaster Robin Ince. He's found some publications that beggar belief. A Kindle search reveals that Don Estelle, author of 'Sing Lofty: Thoughts of a Gemini' is mentioned by name 16 times. A good sign. If you thought 'fan fiction' was a new thing, then the Eighties book 'Starlust' will set you right. There's even a fantasy about a bit of mutual fumbling with the Jam's bass player Bruce Foxton. Then there's the Barry Manilow fan who climaxes with a shriek of "COPACABANA!" before sobbing herself to sleep that her actual partner isn't really the swoonsomely anodyne Bazza. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 (edited) 'Bad Book Club' by comedian and broadcaster Robin Ince. He's found some publications that beggar belief. A Kindle search reveals that Don Estelle, author of 'Sing Lofty: Thoughts of a Gemini' is mentioned by name 16 times. A good sign. If you thought 'fan fiction' was a new thing, then the Eighties book 'Starlust' will set you right. There's even a fantasy about a bit of mutual fumbling with the Jam's bass player Bruce Foxton. Then there's the Barry Manilow fan who climaxes with a shriek of "COPACABANA!" before sobbing herself to sleep that her actual partner isn't really the swoonsomely anodyne Bazza. Ooh, The Old Testament and Apocrypha in Limerick Verse by Christopher Goodwins. How could I resist? There’s one thing you must do - Not! In Sodom the men want you, Lot! But quit there for Zoar Don’t look back! But go . . . er Bad news, your wife’s now become salt. Edited January 10, 2016 by Futtocks "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted January 12, 2016 Author Share Posted January 12, 2016 Not mentioned in Ince's book, however, is 'The Eye of Argon' by Jim Theis. Although you can buy it, plenty of versions exist online, like this. Long thought to be a hoax by a professional writer, it is generally accepted these days to be the real thing - a mercifully short Swords'n'Sorcery tale written by a teenager with an unhealthy lust for (usually inappropriate) adjectives. Reading it aloud and pronouncing the typos without laughing has become a drinking game among fans. Here's a little background and a rundown of some of the worst bits. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted January 12, 2016 Author Share Posted January 12, 2016 Researching that has brought to my attention the prose and poetry of Amanda McKittrick Ros, who writes like an 19th Century Morrissey. Here's her magnum opus, 'Irene Iddesleigh'. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 Not mentioned in Ince's book, however, is 'The Eye of Argon' by Jim Theis. Although you can buy it, plenty of versions exist online, like this. Long thought to be a hoax by a professional writer, it is generally accepted these days to be the real thing - a mercifully short Swords'n'Sorcery tale written by a teenager with an unhealthy lust for (usually inappropriate) adjectives. Reading it aloud and pronouncing the typos without laughing has become a drinking game among fans. Here's a little background and a rundown of some of the worst bits. "Freedom without socialism is privilege and injustice, socialism without freedom is slavery and brutality" - Mikhail Bakunin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 Here's an oddity - Russian author Kirill Eskov wrote The Last Ringbearer in 1999. Going by the rule that history is written by the victors, this is his Lord of the Rings sequel, but where the good guys are the bad guys and vice versa. Gandalf & Co. are portrayed as warmongers pushing a 'final solution' to the problem of the progressive and enlightened orcs and trolls whose burgeoning industrial revolution and enlightened civilisation is snuffed out by the forces of mysticism and sword-swinging barbarity. The elves are seen as racial supremacists, who only desire to turn Middle Earth into a leisure park and treat the humans as amusing pets. It's not brilliantly translated (Google will find you a free copy in various formats), or maybe the original text wasn't much cop to begin with, but it is an amusing conceit, written with more thoroughness and detail than you would see in regular fanfic. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted March 4, 2016 Author Share Posted March 4, 2016 Gavin Maxwell - Harpoon at a Venture. His first book, chronicling the time when, just out the army after WWII, he attempted to start a basking shark fishery on the Hebridean island of Soay. With zero experience and a fair amount of bad advice, he has a tale to tell. As always, he's a wonderful writer, no matter what the subject matter. It just seemed like everything he did in life went awry in the end somehow. I lost my old copy of this years ago, so asked for a new one as a Christmas present and my dad obliged. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuffer Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Stephen King's Bazaar of Bad Dreams - his latest collection of short stories, some are good, some are ######, most are just plain weird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted March 4, 2016 Author Share Posted March 4, 2016 Stephen King's Bazaar of Bad Dreams - his latest collection of short stories, some are good, some are ######, most are just plain weird For such a prolific author, I'm not sure I've ever read any of his books. I've seen a fair few films of his work, and it seems like there are a lot more bad adaptations than good ones. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted March 4, 2016 Author Share Posted March 4, 2016 I am also dipping into Judith Schalansky's Atlas of remote Islands (Fifty Islands I have never visited and never will). It won a German Arts Foundation award for "The most beautiful book of the year". It combines detailed illustrations for each island with a page of text that can be plainly historical or sometimes a little poetic, as the mood of the author takes her. It is also fun to read while looking up the islands on Google Earth for aerial photos. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuffer Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 For such a prolific author, I'm not sure I've ever read any of his books. I've seen a fair few films of his work, and it seems like there are a lot more bad adaptations than good ones. Shawshank Redemption, Stand by Me, Green Mile and The Shining were good adaptations.......but there were some shockers too - Carrie, Christine spring to mind and The Stand did not do the book justice (though I hear they're having another bash at that soon) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marklaspalmas Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 I am also dipping into Judith Schalansky's Atlas of remote Islands (Fifty Islands I have never visited and never will). It won a German Arts Foundation award for "The most beautiful book of the year". It combines detailed illustrations for each island with a page of text that can be plainly historical or sometimes a little poetic, as the mood of the author takes her. It is also fun to read while looking up the islands on Google Earth for aerial photos. That looks great. I might get it. Amazon says there's a big size and a pocket version. https://www.fevarchive.co.uk/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted March 7, 2016 Author Share Posted March 7, 2016 That looks great. I might get it. Amazon says there's a big size and a pocket version. If you can find a nicely priced large-sized hardback, go for that. Make sure it's an English edition, BTW, as it was originally published in German. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted March 7, 2016 Author Share Posted March 7, 2016 Shawshank Redemption, Stand by Me, Green Mile and The Shining were good adaptations.......but there were some shockers too - Carrie, Christine spring to mind and The Stand did not do the book justice (though I hear they're having another bash at that soon) I'd forgotten that 'Shawshank' was one of his. Interesting that you rate 'Carrie' as one of the flops though. It is generally quite highly thought of... unless you mean the 2002 remake. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckn Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 For such a prolific author, I'm not sure I've ever read any of his books. I've seen a fair few films of his work, and it seems like there are a lot more bad adaptations than good ones. The Stand is a good read, light pace, lots of content, lots of unnecessary morality tales but overall well worth the effort. Some of his other stuff is just a dreary read where you want him to get a shuffle on with the plot at times. "When in deadly danger, when beset by doubt; run in little circles, wave your arms and shout" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleep1673 Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 I am currently reading the Tiffany Aching set of books by Mr. T. Pratchett esq. They are fun to read, and they are exciting. (Bleep1673 daughter age 7) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marklaspalmas Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 Obscure request, but you have to start somewhere and this being TRL you never know. I read Gimson's Kings & Queens and it was just up my street. I want something similar for Prime Ministers. I thought about this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/British-Prime-Ministers-Robert-Parker/dp/1445610213/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458145365&sr=1-1&keywords=prime+ministers But it seems slight even for me. Then I saw this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/History-British-Prime-Ministers-omnibus/dp/1137574380/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458145365&sr=1-3&keywords=prime+ministers Which seems much more the thing but is actually a compendium of three different volumes. Perhaps I should buy all 3 volumes, not the condensed version? Any ideas anyone? https://www.fevarchive.co.uk/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 I just finished a couple of Gregory Benford books (Tides of Light & Furious Gulf). Now a couple of chapters into the autobiography 'The House of Elrig' by Gavin Maxwell. "We are easily breakable, by illness or falling, or a million other ways of leaving this earthly life. We are just so much mashed potato." Don Estelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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