And now the news where you are.

[voteronniegibbs]

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Edited August 23, 2022 by voteronniegibbs

[Futtocks]

8 minutes ago, voteronniegibbs said:

The Victoria shopping centre in Nottingham was evacuated today. Many fire engines in attendance and all traffic diverted from the area. A local resident has told the Nottingham post that it is highly annoying as he was trying on trousers at the time.

That's his excuse, and he's sticking to it.

[Futtocks]

 

[DavidM]

2 minutes ago, Futtocks said:

 

Scores of hilarious news bloopers YouTube videos have great stories like this 

[Futtocks]

 

[The Hallucinating Goose]

A plastics factory has blown up in Hessle with explosions being heard every couple of minutes right across Hull. Massive cloud of thick black toxic smoke. Humberside fire and rescue telling everyone in West Hull to close their windows and doors, personally already got my curtains shut. 

[DavidM]

Our local dramatic society is putting on a production of Ben Hur …. Ambitious or what 

[DavidM]

With only four actors … rehearsals well under way

[Futtocks]

19 minutes ago, DavidM said:

With only four actors … rehearsals well under way

Sounds like a National Theatre of Brent production. I saw the NToB performing 'Messiah' live, with just three people. One of them was Jim Broadbent, before he really became well-known. Ingenious and very funny.

[voteronniegibbs]

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Edited August 2, 2023 by voteronniegibbs

[DavidM]

3 minutes ago, voteronniegibbs said:

which outdoor venue are they renting for the chariot racing?

I’m not sure what they’re doing with the chariot race or the slave ship scenes , logistically I’m sure they can sort it out and produce a magnificent spectacle worthy of the 11.50 admission ( 10.50 concessions ) . 

[Exiled Townie]

A man who got an artillery shell stuck up his rectum caused a ruckus on Twitter on Friday.  The man – who understandably remains nameless in reports – told staff at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital that he is a military collector.

He said he had accidentally fallen on an explosive device dating back to World War 2 when he was having a clear out of his memorabilia.

Edited December 3, 2021 by Exiled Townie

[voteronniegibbs]

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Edited August 2, 2023 by voteronniegibbs

[Futtocks]

30 minutes ago, Exiled Townie said:

A man who got an artillery shell stuck up his rectum caused a ruckus on Twitter on Friday.  The man – who understandably remains nameless in reports – told staff at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital that he is a military collector.

He said he had accidentally fallen on an explosive device dating back to World War 2 when he was having a clear out of his memorabilia.

That's got to be Mark Francois acting out another imaginary feat of military heroism, hasn't it?

Edited December 3, 2021 by Futtocks

[DavidM]

1 hour ago, Exiled Townie said:

A man who got an artillery shell stuck up his rectum caused a ruckus on Twitter on Friday.  The man – who understandably remains nameless in reports – told staff at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital that he is a military collector.

He said he had accidentally fallen on an explosive device dating back to World War 2 when he was having a clear out of his memorabilia.

He’ll be having a clear out alright if it goes off

[bobbruce]

Ok ok we’ve all got a joke about the man with a shell up his bum but I’m sure as he said at the time this has gone far enough. 

[The Hallucinating Goose]

It's 2 years today since I quit my job of 10 years due to bullying, one of the best things I ever did even if it did take 18 months to get another job. 

In other news, I think the Goose household has a poltergeist. We have one of those chunky air fresheners on the tv stand and there has been 3 times now in the last few weeks that I have got up in the morning to find it has moved. To start with I thought it was maybe the cats in the night playing with it, knocking it round the room like, I was willing to believe this even if it was always stood upright in its new place but today I got up and it was stood upright, as if placed, on the breakfast bar in the kitchen, a completely different room to where it lives and no way on earth the cats could have got it up there. Before I get an exorcist I will of course quiz the family to see if someone else is moving it but until now I did not believe in ghosts, now, definitely a possibility.

[CornwallRL]

On 02/11/2021 at 09:54, JohnM said:

A van has just stopped outside our bungalow, stuck some signs on the van sides  and driven off.

Happens a lot down our way, magnetic signs. It prevents thieves knowing which vans to target, to steal tools to order. They all say no tools are left in the van overnight, but we all know that isn't always the case (or tool box). A white van is a white van.

[CornwallRL]

On 22/11/2021 at 19:27, Futtocks said:

 

Yeah, but you have to press dat in.

[voteronniegibbs]

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Edited August 23, 2022 by voteronniegibbs

[glossop saint]

On 05/12/2021 at 07:42, The Hallucinating Goose said:

It's 2 years today since I quit my job of 10 years due to bullying, one of the best things I ever did even if it did take 18 months to get another job. 

In other news, I think the Goose household has a poltergeist. We have one of those chunky air fresheners on the tv stand and there has been 3 times now in the last few weeks that I have got up in the morning to find it has moved. To start with I thought it was maybe the cats in the night playing with it, knocking it round the room like, I was willing to believe this even if it was always stood upright in its new place but today I got up and it was stood upright, as if placed, on the breakfast bar in the kitchen, a completely different room to where it lives and no way on earth the cats could have got it up there. Before I get an exorcist I will of course quiz the family to see if someone else is moving it but until now I did not believe in ghosts, now, definitely a possibility.

My parents went on holiday to China a few years ago. They bought a couple of nice small clay warrior statues. They've positioned them side by side facing the same way on the piano back at home. However they must be possessed and prefer to face each other and do so without help every few days. 

It's either that or the vibrations from the lorries passing, but that is a much better story, and pretty puzzling at first. 

[CornwallRL]

On 22/11/2021 at 19:27, Futtocks said:

 

Much the same around here, nearest working ATM is in another county.

[DavidM]

After an incident where two men were injured with a bladed implement , Carlisle police - on advice from witnesses - are searching for ‘ a man with a big nose and a woman with short hair ‘ . Anyone seeing people matching these descriptions must call the police 

[CornwallRL]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-59681239

Oh, we are back to covid-19, & supply problems as a substitute for not giving a shet?

[CornwallRL]

Just now, CornwallRL said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-59681239

Oh, we are back to covid-19, & supply problems as a substitute for not giving a shet?

My daughter is at a very nice school, they even gave everyone a surprise half day yesterday, just before Boris shut the pubs down, so all the teachers could get to the pub for their Xmas meal. Apparently, unsurprisingly the pub they had booked the meal at 1630 for, accepted a change of booking for 45, to 1430.